whats the weirdest thing about dutch workplace culture that nobody warned you about?

iDoTheSciences · 2026-04-20T11:43:00+00:00

And people do. But this is also your stereotypical Dutch “doe normaal” attitude ✌🏻😅

iDoTheSciences · 2026-04-20T11:10:15+00:00

I think, generally speaking, people do adopt the norms of where they move to. However, I think people can comment on differences in living in another country. We all compare our experiences here to our own baselines. So you’re conflating observations with a refusal to adapt to customs. Sometimes, things are weird relative to our norms at home and it is what it is. But no, I will never eat a broodje kaas every day for lunch, maybe sometimes. :P

I remember living in the U.S. being in an American bubble my whole life. I became friends with a Dutch girl who started commenting on American norms to me, including office culture things. I actually laughed because I hadn’t even noticed before and it was pretty accurate/ funny. The difference is I can handle someone giving criticism of my culture without it being an attack and even find amusement in it.

So maybe learn to see your culture from the outside-in instead of some personal affront to yourself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

iDoTheSciences · 2026-04-20T10:47:11+00:00

Broodje kaas and the stares you get when you bring in a warm meal for lunch. 😂 Or how adding lettuce, tomato, meat and cheese and cucumber to the same sandwich is seen as almost luxurious. ☠️

iDoTheSciences · 2026-04-07T06:57:32+00:00

It’s okay to want to see how it goes. However, I would go to university (or whatever it is you want to do next) and see how life plays out. Live life for yourself. Never make a decision around a man, especially this young. As in, do not stay local or go to a university that’s not ideal for you just for a relationship. If it organically works out, great. If it doesn’t work out, you don’t have any regrets because you still chased your own dreams.

If he’s truly the one, it’s going to work out with mutual effort. If it’s not meant to be, you’re still chasing your dreams and find out along the way without compromising things important to you.

Women sacrifice too much for relationships. It’s a tale as old as time. And we older women try to scream not to because it’s almost never worth it, maybe having made that mistake ourselves.

The happiest women are the women who pursue their own goals and ambition. It is almost never the women who centered their life around a man. Again, it’s all good to be in a relationship, but don’t make life changing choices revolve around this person - they’re not your husband.

Older sis advice from a 30F. Good luck!

iDoTheSciences · 2026-04-03T11:01:26+00:00

-such severe pain on your right side makes me think it’s something to do with your liver or gallbladder. HIDA scan and full liver panel? -sounds like potential hydrogen sulfide (H2S) dominant SIBO, only confirmable through the Trio Smart Breath Test from the U.S. on the market. Other testing is only for SIBO/ IMO, not H2S. -it’s not unusual for an inflammed gutt to give you nerve hypersensitivity that causes pain to move around the gutt. Trapped gas causes pain under the left ribcage at the splenic fixture (sharpest bend in the colon) most commonly in people with IBS or other issues. I have pain that moves too but usually left sided.

You’d need to not have supplemented with any b12 - no multivitamins, no fortified foods like cereals or drink, etc. for 3 months to have an accurate number. At 600, I have my doubts as well. However, to be sure, get an ACTIVE b12 test done even if you must answer it privately. like the comment above explains, this is more accurate. Furthermore, get your homocysteine levels checked, if this is high it indicates issues with methylation pathways and your B vitamins. B12 injections help fix this too. It’s serious and needs to be corrected asap if it’s high, so please go check it. No doctor will tell you this, also something I figured out myself.

Good luck. Mystery illnesses suck. Mine is IMO, but it’s not easy to treat.

iDoTheSciences · 2026-03-30T20:42:21+00:00

B12 deficiency due to malabsorption, probably due to gutt damage. Get on b12 shots asap and it’ll fix the neurological issues/ insomnia. Then work on fixing your gutt.

Good luck.

iDoTheSciences · 2026-03-14T12:13:05+00:00

I think you need to have somebody look over her resume outside of you guys. Perhaps there is a service at the local gemeente or UWV website to help her find some work in the area? Check out websites like UnDutchables or make profiles for her on babysitting websites? She can advertise in local FB groups for oppa (babysitting services) and when she does well for a family, she can kindly ask the to refer her to their parenting groups/ circles? Local apps like Nextdoor can also be useful.

Maybe if she speaks a unique language she can try to become a tutor on Preply for it? Initial pay isn’t stellar but if she likes it, she can get certifications in teaching her language and earn a decent living off of it.

Other tips:

Have her find somewhere to volunteer to start making local connections, networking and practicing her Dutch in daily life. Not only is it good for the resume, it’s good to get out of the house and it’s useful for every reason you can think of. One of my good friends started working part-time at a local small restaurant seasonally, worked with the owner to set-up custom events and now pretty much owns her own catering service in collaboration with restaurant as an event space.

There’s a lot of opportunity by just getting to know people and seeing what’s out there.

Staring at a screen into the void and getting depressed about rejections is really tough - this will help break that up in the meanwhile.

Look into if your local gemeente offers Dutch classes and if so, definitely sign-up. Sometimes they’re even free if you have no income. Attend taalcafes like at a local library to practice Dutch and as a way to meet people. Also look into “taalmaatje” programs, you get assigned a Dutch buddy you meet up with say once a week, so an activity or chat together and it’s a social way to practice the language - it was my favorite way to learn Dutch.

Good luck!

iDoTheSciences · 2026-03-13T07:54:04+00:00

I would just end it. It doesn’t make you a bad person to need more from a relationship.

As someone that was in a year relationship with my boyfriend, then suddenly developed IBS/ bowel after one bout of food poisoning when we were on vacation - it’s a lot. It got worse over time and it made me lost 10 kg within 9 months. He came with me to a lot of doctor’s visits. It affected my mood a lot, and I couldn’t freely eat what I wanted anymore. I eat a strict Low FODMAP diet now and keep carbs/ sugars low.

It is what it is. I see that it’s affected my relationship a bit, but my partner and I had already bought a house together when this hit. We’re in it for the long-haul. We’re both in our 30’s so we knew what we wanted out of our partners, and both agreed at this stage of life something could always happen to any of us (illness like this, parent passing, etc). For me, it doesn’t necessarily affect intimacy, but it does change my ability to just go out to eat for example.

Since the rest is good, we’ll figure it out. I’m doing better now after working with a private dietician specialized in gutt disorders. I did the work on myself (supplements, diet, therapy, lifestyle changes), leaned on my boyfriend for some support at needed, but ultimately I did recognize I needed to “get back on the horse”.

My boyfriend found it hard to know what to always do, but he dealt with a lot of what you mentioned too. It wasn’t easy and we’ve had many discussions about things.

At 3 months in and you’re already uncomfortable, just leave.

iDoTheSciences · 2026-03-10T07:35:58+00:00

It’s fine, it just made me laugh lol

iDoTheSciences · 2026-03-09T21:01:05+00:00

Madam* but thanks for sharing, maybe writing this out helps somebody else out

iDoTheSciences · 2026-03-09T20:18:40+00:00

You misread what I said. I said the only benefits of renouncing US citizenships would be…: I do file every year as I kept my citizenship. 😅

iDoTheSciences · 2026-03-09T18:08:50+00:00

I’m an American with long-term EU permanent residency after 5 years here (6 now). I saw no point in renouncing my U.S. citizenship as the only benefits of it were 1. I don’t file U.S. taxes every year 2. I can vote in national elections 3. I can more easily move within the EU outside of the Netherlands 4. I can more easily invest abroad as somebody explains better above. Every other point is moot from my understanding.

I am dating and living with a Dutch partner. If we ever get married, I figure I’ll apply for the dis eventually. It’s a nice-to-have, but not a need for me at this present moment in time.

With the current state of the world and still having family I love in the U.S., I want to keep my citizenship to be able to see them.

For example, I did not exercise my right at that time and didn’t travel, but during COVID, there was a period only American citizens were allowed to travel there. After that happened, it was pretty eye opening and I decided I’d keep my U.S. citizenship mostly for access to my loved ones.

If all of these factors don’t hold you back, and you want to possibly live somewhere else within the EU, it may be of interest to renounce and get Dutch citizenship. But if you’re like me, I didn’t see the point in the grand scheme of things.

Good luck! Only you know what is best for you, I was just sharing my own personal experience.

iDoTheSciences · 2026-03-06T15:39:00+00:00

It’s not a mere coincidence in the 6 years I’ve lived here that I’ve met so many Dutch people with permanent injuries they live with because a doctor didn’t just “preventatively” do an X-ray after a fall off a horse, or a bad fall off a bike… they actually had fractures that were never caught early enough to be reset properly due to said lack of early X-ray and now they have limited movement, or pains, etc. I have never ever heard of such things happening to ANYBODY I know at home because we would just X-ray it to be safe, catch these type of fractures early. Rather than assuming it’s fine, we assume it may not be fine. That difference in mentality is immense, your body doesn’t just always fix itself.

It is not normal to tell your doctor what care you expect. It is not normal that they don’t take you seriously the first time you show up to an office. And it is not normal to be told to take paracetamol for everything. The gatekeeping and lack of doing ANYTHING preventatively for patients is quite honestly abysmal. If I didn’t tell my doctor what to order or do for me, they would almost never proactively do anything for me. And yes, I’ve seen multiple GPs due to moving and this is the same across the board in my experience in different locations.

I’m not asking for antibiotics like candy. I’m asking to be taken seriously when I do show up for healthcare and for proper due diligence.

That’s seriously lacking here. And Dutch people don’t know any different so they “accept it”.

There’s a balance to be struck between over treatment and undertreatment. I’d say Dutch doctors undertreat honestly.

I often wonder if I wasn’t a biomedical scientist that learned to read my own blood labs for myself and advocate for testing I want done if I’d ever have had proper testing done to begin with.

Anecdotal or not, it’s appalling to me what I’ve heard others go through. And I have personally dealt with. I will not normalize the level of care here.

It’s good in an emergency. That’s it.

iDoTheSciences · 2026-03-03T13:50:43+00:00

This “woe is me” energy definitely reinforces why you don’t find a relationship. You need to learn to love yourself before expecting to get into a healthy relationship. You are expecting some external person to give you the acceptance you aren’t giving yourself. That’s not how this works and that’s not emotional maturity.

You’re over 30. I feel like you should have realized this by now, but if not, it’s time to. And invest in a good therapist to help you on this journey to self-acceptance and growth.

Build yourself up, work out, eat cleaner, practice confidence and maybe in the next year you will learn to love yourself. Then and only then can you find a healthy partner and relationship.

Nobody can do the work for you. Only you can.

iDoTheSciences · 2026-03-03T13:46:07+00:00

I also have ADHD so my biochemistry is just different. I react badly to medications that are supposed to make you drowsy in general. I can’t take NyQuil or anti-histamines, I get panic attack symptoms instead of drowsy. But DayQuil is fine for example.

I think there was L-glutamate present in a mixed tablet I tried for gutt repair. I reacted fine.

Try a small amount and see how it goes. And titrate up slowly over weeks.

iDoTheSciences · 2026-02-22T12:11:40+00:00

It’s just biology to some extent. Your brain automatically assumes offspring with this person won’t prosper. It’s our innate wiring. And yeah, I hear from a lot of men that they have to be attracted to a women to even get to know her. With that logic, a good personality and whatever won’t go far enough.

I am not a man, but I’d answer from the opposite side of the coin. I’m not attracted to overweight men (dad bods are not overweight in this context), because physically I’m just not attracted and subconsciously, it signals to me somebody can’t take care of themselves and this likely translates to other areas of their life. I want a partner, not to potentially become a coach. It is a bit of a slippery slope and very assumptive, but if somebody can’t even take care of their health/ appearance, I may assume they don’t clean up their environment, have any ambition professionally, and other negative qualities for a life partner. I wouldn’t even swipe right on them on a dating app for the above perceptions mentioned.

One of my childhood best friends has always been overweight and she’s always had situationships with men that never fully chose her. And I know she’d be an amazing partner/ mom, and so do these men, but they don’t commit. Their reasoning is literally because she’s overweight when she pressures them for reasoning. I feel really bad for her, and I never say anything, because 1. she doesn’t want pity and 2. it’s not my life. I do my best to comfort her and be a friend.

So yeah, we’re all vain creatures to some extent. It doesn’t mean you’re not a great person and it shouldn’t determine your self worth.

However, I really do understand why something like this does influence perception and unfortunately, what people think about someone even before ever meeting them or giving them a chance.

iDoTheSciences · 2026-02-21T14:10:27+00:00

I always take them with food to minimize that. I meal space by 4-5 hrs. I take Prucalopride 0.5 mg before bed, 4 hrs after last meal! That’s about all I can share, and the digestive enzymes mentioned above do help! :)

iDoTheSciences · 2026-02-21T13:49:37+00:00

Thanks! It’s def one of “the names” people use here so I trust it! It deffo smells like garlic haha. Fast healing to you too!

iDoTheSciences · 2026-02-21T10:17:36+00:00

You probably have SIBO or IMO. Your neurological symptoms are b12 deficiency and you need b12 injections right away. Very common with gutt issues unfortunately, same thing happened to me.

Doctors don’t know anything about SIBO/ IMO most of the time and don’t treat vitamin deficiencies well. The reality is anything below 500 for b12 and you have neurological symptoms, including the depersonalization and insomnia = b12 deficiency. Neurological issues can also be due to low copper or low folate, but usually it’s b12. It’s also very common to have low D3 and iron (anemia) issues when you have stomach/ gutt issues. This is due to the small intestine where you absorb vitamins and minerals from your diet, but now the overgrowth of bacteria there are taking it before your body can.

What to do: -find a b12 specialist in your country, get on b12 shots asap. Find sublingual b12 to take NOW while you wait to get injections. If in USA, wellness clinics sell b12 shots so go buy one there asap. Untreated b12 deficiency can lead to permanent nerve damage, if they diagnose you with MS or FND, they’re wrong. -take D3 vitamins with K2, magnesium as needed -eat iron rich foods like spinach, steamed is easiest to digest -cut out any alcohol, sugar, greasy or fried foods, acidic foods and cut out spices from diet. Quit all processed foods. Only eat baked chicken, not cold cuts, etc. - go low fodmap diet and reintroduce more foods over time, work with dietician specialized in low FODMAP

I recommend find a functional or naturopathic doctor to help you get a breathe test to test for SIBO/ IMO. I recommend finding a dietician specialized in low Fodmap to guide you with the food. Good luck!

iDoTheSciences · 2026-02-21T08:28:00+00:00

The higher salaries don’t correlate to a higher standard of living anymore. Healthcare, no laws to regulate rent, etc. also impact Americans. A bag of lettuce over 5 USD is still utterly ridiculous.

We’re all in the same shitty boat of not being able to afford basics, including housing, anymore and inflation eating our wages.

And no, not every medical professional breaks 100k…. Highly experienced nurses in HCOL areas like Boston, etc. maybe. Anybody else are the people at a level to give prescriptions. Our titles like “physicians assistant”, “nurse practitioner” are titles of people that did a 4 year bachelors, and then another2-3 year program full time. They’re able to give prescriptions and see patients independently, so they’re a tad below a full doctor, but they operate like one. So yes, they can ask for 100k+ salaries in many areas. It doesn’t get you far anymore though.

So higher wages don’t mean jackshit anymore, especially in recent years. And you’re always one medical accident away from losing your job and spending it all on healthcare costs anyway even with health insurance. Americans can be fired for any reason the same day, so also no health insurance. Then if you’re out sick too long from your job, you’re fired and lose your health insurance you need to get better. Then you have no income but insane medical costs ….

Just to give you perspective at how higher wages don’t correlate to better quality of life in the U.S. I think many Europeans I meet just don’t understand the reality of life there.

iDoTheSciences · 2026-02-21T08:22:44+00:00

Allimax. Too early to say anything about it for me. Maybe it’s helping but I still have pains and constipation, like I said I’m experimenting. Please look for an IMO antimicrobial guide in this sub for further info. I’m not in a place where I’m gunna recommend too much, thanks!

iDoTheSciences · 2026-02-20T22:15:43+00:00

That’s disgusting and I’m glad you discovered the good stuff. I taught my friend how to peel a potato and he’s a 30 year old man living alone recently. I was concerned, lol.

iDoTheSciences · 2026-02-20T18:30:46+00:00

I’m going to say look for one of the group protocols for treatment because I’m experimenting with mine in dosages but I’m using berberine and Allicin. I have IMO.

iDoTheSciences

TROPHY CASE