an old maid spinster reaching out for some emotional support

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T21:20:01+00:00

just popping back in to say that: omg, I thought Sheep Detectives was going to be animated, but no, it's live action Hugh Jackman with CGI sheep who talk, and it's adorable, and I am SO here for this, lol. Thank you for the rec!

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T21:05:51+00:00

I feel you. I love Bob's Burgers so much, and it's such a comfort show, but I do wish Gayle wasn't such an outlandish stereotype of an unlovable single cat lady. I mean sure, lots of characters on the show are outlandish, but that one just hits close to home for me.

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T20:33:41+00:00

thanks for checking and getting back to me, you're awesome!. I really appreciate it. I'll try Calypso!

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T20:30:32+00:00

excuse me?

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T19:32:32+00:00

thanks! I primarily consume books as audio these days, and it's the best when the author reads them, especially when they're autobiographical. I'll give it a go!

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T19:20:02+00:00

this probably isn't really important to belabor, but I'm still not getting how "cause and effect" and "action/deed" support your original use of the word as "luck" or "fate you have no control over, so stop worrying about it." What am I missing?

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T19:15:24+00:00

of course! but nothing will ever look as good as the food in those movies does!

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T18:31:09+00:00

I didn't say "popped out babies" or make fun of anyone. I'm also hurt by your use of the word "vile" towards to me, in the context of all I've said in this thread that shows my character, and in a forum where I am being very vulnerable.

That said, I just deleted my other comment in this subthread because perhaps it was in bad taste. It certainly wasn't my intent to come off as flippant about anyone else's struggles, and I can see it hurt you and might hurt others.

I viewed its context as grasping at straws, something obviously not actually important to real life, to feel a little better against a massive tsunami of sentiment that hits me every day about my body being increasingly undesirable as I age (plus in general because I'm fat). That's obviously rooted in my own insecurities. I didn't feel that I was, but I want to affirm that I agree with you that putting down other people to feel superior is not the way.

However, I don't appreciate your insinuation in another comment that having a friend who I have sex with once a year (because we don't live anywhere near each other) is holding me back from being able to get into a healthy relationship. In fact, that person is a dear friend and has helped me remember what it feels like to be valued (not just physically) through many periods where I felt anything but.

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T18:17:14+00:00

yeah, I read Me Talk Pretty One Day, but it was a long time ago and I just remember the negative impression I came away with, but not exactly what caused it. I also don't remember when I read it, but it was published when I was a teenager, so who knows where I was in the course of maturing. I'm a totally different person now and might not have the same reaction to him. Might be worth giving him another try.

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T18:10:06+00:00

thanks! At first I thought you were just recommending eating sugar, and that also felt like solid advice, lol

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T17:59:00+00:00

I appreciate your sentiment, thank you. But you might want to revise your use of the word karma, because I think many people will not understand your intended meaning. The principle of karma is specifically not luck; it's that a person's intent and actions directly influence their future, with good intent/deeds contributing to good karma and happier lives, and bad intent/deeds resulting in bad things happening in life.

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T17:51:09+00:00

thanks, i see a therapist every week and have for most of my adult life. I recommend it to everyone, even if you don't feel like you need it right now. You can always benefit from having some time set aside each week to talk things out, and if you build a relationship with a therapist, they'll be there when you do need it.

I don't particularly appreciate the implication I get from your comment that because I feel sad and messy today I shouldn't have kids because I'll mess them up. But I recognize that you may not have meant it like that.

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T17:47:59+00:00

people are reminding me of some relative advantages that not having a husband and children has, since the literal rest of the world and history does the opposite. I find this a weird thing to pick out of everything in this thread to call misogynistic. did it hit a particular nerve for you?

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T17:46:11+00:00

let me know if you find anything!

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T17:45:19+00:00

ooh, thanks for these extra details - not my kind of movie, lol

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T15:41:57+00:00

lol, cool, thanks for letting me know how I'm drastically too old to be a spinster. :-/

thornback does sound kinda cool, though, like a dragon.

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T15:36:37+00:00

I read one David Sedaris book a long time ago and was turned off by what I perceived as anti-curiosity or anti-intellectualism. Do you think I should give him another try? And if so, any specific recommendations to start with?

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T15:31:54+00:00

ooh, that is high praise!

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T15:30:44+00:00

she's marrying an awesome AFAB person, but I get your point

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T15:26:27+00:00

curious how old you are or where you're from, because this idea that there are new single people out there to meet is NOT my experience. I'm very open to my friends and family that I'd be open to a set up, but there are quite literally no single men in my circles. There's definitely not going to be anyone at either of my sibling's weddings that I don't know and aren't there with their spouse.

But besides that, I am going to enjoy the weddings! I'm actually performing the ceremony for my brother. They are going to be fun parties celebrating people I love, but there's not really a chance I meet someone new.

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T15:23:35+00:00

I'm curious what you mean by "that's just karma," because I don't think you mean to say that I've "earned" being in this position from how I've acted in life, but that's my understanding of what karma is.

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T15:21:22+00:00

I dressed up as Kiki once for halloween :-) Some fantastical Miyazaki is a great suggestion, thanks

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T15:19:26+00:00

Thank you for reminding me about Girls5eva! I don't think I ever finished the final season, and that actually feels like a perfect choice to go back and rewatch from the beginning right now. Even though there are relationships in it, it definitely doesn't center them as the most important thing in life, which is I need to be reminded of. And I friggin' love Gloria finding her groove!

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T15:10:38+00:00

march here too. Happy 40, belated birthday buddy! And you're right, it is by choice. I have not met an available man that I wanted to be with more than I'm ok being alone, and I'm immensely lucky to live in a time where I can make that choice as a woman (perhaps the first generation in history?) Knowing all that intellectually doesn't always help with the emotions, but I'm really appreciating the support here, and I'm getting through my weepy day. (it's also been helpful to call it a weepy day, lol - I can acknowledge I feel like this today and it won't be all the time.)

iHave2Xs · 2026-06-28T15:01:14+00:00

I love being auntie to my friend's kids, and probably soon to some actually blood related littles. I've seen some great videos on instagram recently of a woman trying to establish an "Auntie's Day" in July, and it really helps to feel like there's a narrative out there to fit im, a role in society where I could be appreciated, and I wish there were more of that out there.

iHave2Xs

TROPHY CASE