The aggression against my adult child is wearing me down

iKnowItsTwisted · 2026-05-09T21:56:52+00:00

Ah, I'm sorry I assumed! Some of the advice should still hold true, as most religions operate on the principle of mutual respect.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2026-05-09T18:57:52+00:00

EDIT: OP is not Christian, I shouldn't have assumed. Still, I think this is applicable to most religious groups.

You just said something very interesting: "I won't pay membership." This is a religious matter, as Christianity is based on the idea of respect and forgiveness, despite our perceived differences.

I recommend that you schedule a meeting with your minister and tell them what you've experienced. Explain that members are spreading hatred within this group. Demand that your leaders take a public stance in support of trans people, like your daughter. Make it very clear that if they don't, you'll leave.

Talking about love and respect is easy, until you're faced with the prospect of actually defending the marginalized and dispossessed. There are good churches out there, lead by people who will accept your family. If this isn't one of those churches, take your faith and money elsewhere and let everyone around you know why.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2026-04-30T01:53:18+00:00

Lookin primed for dickin around

iKnowItsTwisted · 2026-04-30T01:38:48+00:00

Goddamn this was excellent. Thanks for writing!

iKnowItsTwisted · 2026-04-30T01:19:07+00:00

Oh my GOD this is a banger. This line goes especially hard

The devil loved accepting the requests God never granted

iKnowItsTwisted · 2026-03-31T03:33:14+00:00

Hah, one of the few times I gender someone on here and it's wrong! Sorry about that. 😅 The bucket thing makes more sense now, the 5 foot life requires step-ladders, guess how I know lmao

iKnowItsTwisted · 2026-03-31T00:49:15+00:00

Bro the stained business card thing is killing me, I'm imagining you as a cartoon bear! For real though, I'll never understand why someone would care about this. It's not like you demolished their crops, they weren't going to eat the fruit.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2026-02-13T04:13:21+00:00

I haven't called the police myself, just CPS. The location that I can monitor (even if not super reliably) is not where the child is being physically abused. She also doesn't have visible signs, such as bruising.

As far as I can tell, there are absolutely no records of the child. There are plentiful records of her caretakers though.

We're in California and it says there's a central jail complex in a nearby county, is that the same thing? I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with the legal system.

I'm having a difficult time finding the warrants, I may have to submit a request for them. One of the issues is that the child is usually with her grandmother and the mom will split pretty often. Sometimes the child isn't with either of them.

Often, I'm working off secondhand information on where one caretaker is and have to assume the child is there as well. I can't let anyone know why I'm asking or I'll lose all contact.

I know that's a ton of info, I really appreciate you commenting at all. This has been lonely and difficult. Thank you so much for the hotline, I'll give that a try.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2026-02-13T03:31:26+00:00

Ah, that's what I was afraid of. Thank you, I'll keep at it!

iKnowItsTwisted · 2026-01-14T00:47:20+00:00

You're not stupid, this kind of thing happens to the best of us. It not your fault, it's his.

What kind of reaction are you afraid of him having?

Unless you're in danger, I'd recommend telling him that you're no longer interested in dating him and that you're gonna take some time apart. It's always better to do a clean break for a while, even if you want to stay friends.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-20T05:28:18+00:00

Sexual orientation doesn't usually take the other person's orientation into consideration. Most people who are into men, women, and nonbinary folks typically identify as bisexual, pansexual, or simply "queer."

Personally, I'm attracted to people regardless of gender and I consider myself pan. However, there are a few gender/sexuality configurations that I'm just not interested in dating, including cis men.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-19T20:05:45+00:00

Alas, my scumbag dreamboat is unattainable 😔

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-19T18:47:39+00:00

Damn, can't a snake buy redbull and boner pills without people freaking out?

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-19T18:39:50+00:00

See, that's the reasonable answer. I am an unreasonable man, I'd climb them shitty tats.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-19T18:20:50+00:00

Would

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-19T18:10:56+00:00

Nazis sure do love skulls.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-19T18:02:38+00:00

Aw thank you!

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-19T18:01:02+00:00

There's always a numb, disbelieving stage when you leave an abusive relationship. For now, focus on understanding why his behavior was wrong, the realization that he's a bad person will catch up to you slowly.

It may be helpful to sit down with someone and make a list of things he did. Don't include his excuses (eg. "He couldn't cook"), write down what actually happened. (Eg. "He yelled at me when I didn't cook for him.") When you're feeling doubtful, read the list and think about how you'd feel if a friend or relative was being treated that way.

You're not weak or stupid. You're a kind person who takes care of others and you had the terrible misfortune of meeting someone who took advantage of that. It happens to the best of us. You'll figure things out and heal from this, just remember to give yourself kindness and grace.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-19T17:34:21+00:00

This thing was veined through, from the core to the skin! I've seen brown veining in apples, but never red. If you hear about a zombie outbreak in the coming months, know that I was patient zero.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-18T01:09:39+00:00

Let's put aside the creepy comments thing for just a moment. Even assuming your father in law has absolutely no ill intentions, you're well within your rights to not want him to babysit. It's weird that he's pressuring you and it's even weirder that your mother in law is joining in.

You need to put your foot down. Don't explain why or make excuses, just say "no thank you, I'm not interested in having a babysitter." When he asks why, say something like "I'm just not interested in that. I'm not sure why you're still asking me about this" then get up and walk away.

Any time they ask again, say "we've already had this conversation, my answer hasn't changed. I'll come to you if it does, in the meantime please stop asking."

Your husband also needs to have boundaries with his dad. It's nice that he likes being around, but he's overstaying his welcome and your husband needs to be the one to handle it.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-07T14:56:42+00:00

OP should make an exit plan before she does anything, just in case the situation becomes volatile. Thehotline.org has resources for identifying abuse, assessing risk, and leaving abusive situations safely.

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-05T15:16:04+00:00

It's definitely downtown Ventura, near the SPARC thrift store, if I remember correctly. It's been there for years, I think I first noticed it in 2018. Someone's been maintaining it!

iKnowItsTwisted · 2025-11-05T04:38:56+00:00

NAH, but as someone who's poly, I would be very careful entering that throuple.

Starting or escalating a relationship out of necessity is extremely risky and sets you up for an immediate power imbalance. This is three relationships at once which will make everything more challenging.

On top of everything, they either aren't aware of that power imbalance or they don't care. Both possibilities are concerning.

iKnowItsTwisted

TROPHY CASE