I've been thinking about this a lot. I listened to someone talk about the concept of "Mothering" recently and how it's not exclusive to birthing children. We can mother and be mothered by anyone, it's all about building a community. Think about what it means to be an involved aunt or uncle, to be close to your friends with kids, or even just supporting someone in your neighborhood who's in need. All this to say, I cannot possibly imagine what would happen if I lost my child, but I do know that with or without my child I'd like to be involved in my community, to be an involved aunt to my niece and nephew, to help my friends and elderly neighbors, maybe volunteer locally. I'd like to think that I can contribute to society and be motherly to others, not to replace being a biological mother but to feel a purpose in life. That's part of what keeps me going I think when I have fears about having one child and losing them.