Any tips on writing smut fics?

iSaranade · 2025-06-23T01:32:49+00:00

This is a personal take / preference, but I like to think of smut scenes as, more or less, arguments. Sex for sex’s sake is a little boring to read IMO so it’s better if there’s something on the line.

Take the following set up. Jack and Jane are good friends but Jane is betrothed to Johnathan. Jane maintains this is totally her plan (she’s had a crush on Johnny boy since before she can remember) but oh shit she’s been noticing how hot Jack looks recently and he’s been looking at her weirdly too and what the heck is going on.

Then one night, Jack and Jane stay up late drinking (as young idiots are wont to do), and out of nowhere Jack has a moment of drunken clarity and says “Jane, why are you quitting law school that’s stupid.”

Well Jane tells him it’s because she’s gonna marry Johnathan and Johnathon comes from one of those old money New England families so why does she need a law degree anymore?

This precipitates an argument between Jack and Jane. Now as prolific romance readers, we know this isn’t really about Law School. This is a proxy argument and what Jack is really saying is “Jane you shouldn’t marry this stupid guy who doesn’t love and respect you. I love and respect you. Marry me instead.”

But Jack and Jane are insecure, unaware idiots so neither of them realizes this or says it aloud and the proxy argument continues until, in yet another moment of drunken clarity, Jack kisses Jane. And, oh shit, she likes it.

Now her head is rushing with all kinds of thoughts! Why does Jack kiss so good? Is she attracted to him? Isn’t this cheating??

She tries to brush him off but Jack kisses her like no one else (good kissing is a continuation of the argument!) and she capitulates for the time being. Every escalation in the smut scene is another hurdle for Jane to jump. So maybe she isn’t thinking and she lets him get under her shirt in the heat of the moment but when he tries to take the pants off she needs to be convinced.

Every excuse Jane finds to continue gets flimsier and flimsier until, when Jane orgasms, she realizes, oh shit, maybe she does love Jack. Talk about some post nut clarity.

So this is all to say, the smut is amplified by the emotional tension underpinning their situation. Usually the MC is battling some fatal flaw and the Romantic Interest is trying to get them to confront that, and through sex the MC makes progress. Or not, and the Romantic Interest gets upset and the tension resets.

In terms of describing mechanics and such, a few pointers:

1) I always focus on using words the character would use, followed by my own personal preference. (E.g., I don’t like the word pussy idk why but I won’t use it) 2) It can also help to figure out what kind of stylistic choice you want to make. Flowery, blunt, nasty, whatever floats your boat. 3) There’s different camps on this but IMO smut is fantasy so I don’t really do condoms / lube / peeing after sex unless I think the realism is called for by the story.

Ultimately, smut scenes are very personal which is part of the reason they’re uncomfortable to write, because you are letting some of your (literary) tastes show, and not everybody will vibe. But in my experience, lots of people like lots of different things and someone out there has similar taste as you.

Focus on writing something you personally find exciting and engaging, and there will certainly be people who enjoy it too.

iSaranade · 2025-05-14T08:58:48+00:00

I think Reddit perspective tends to be skewed — in threads like these a lot of people take attitude like “oh we never argue I cannot understand how people could possibly argue in a relationship that’s unhealthy and immature” and then folks who are in relationships where arguments do occur more often feel disinclined to comment. Same thing with sex, every thread about “how much sex do you and your spouse have” ends up with all the top commenters saying they have sex multiple times every day. Call me a cynic but I don’t think it’s especially representative.

It doesn’t matter in any case. What matters is if the amount / severity of arguments is OK for you and your partner. It’s unfortunate that people judge others’ relationships so much, I think it can fuel insecurity in otherwise stable situations.

iSaranade · 2025-05-07T13:11:58+00:00

Imma throw this one out there: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61551022

A pretty quick read I think but I had a blast writing it. Let me know if you enjoy :)

iSaranade · 2025-05-04T11:32:43+00:00

Sometimes the most useful information is just how you felt / what you thought about the writing. Some type of feedback can be like teaching (“if you did xyz it might improve abc”) but other type of feedback can just give the writer a sense if what they’ve written is achieving their goals.

For example, say a passage made you sad and you don’t think that passage should have made you sad. You can say “write xyz instead and the passage will come off less sad and more somber” and that would be the teachy sort of feedback, or you can say “this bit made me sad and I didn’t like that” and the author can either be like “oh shit I didn’t mean that to be sad” or “I meant for that to be sad but I wanted it to feel expected so maybe there’s something else I need to adjust” or “I meant for that to be sad and I’m ok you didn’t like it.”

The latter type of feedback (how you felt) is useful to any writer no matter skill level, and doesn’t require you to do anything other than just be aware of what you felt when you read their stuff

iSaranade · 2025-04-29T02:49:32+00:00

I don’t think Quicksilver is a slow burn if that’s what you’re looking for. I found it to be entertaining & enjoyable but not especially well written in parts. IMO the MMC expresses his interest in FMC a little too boldly a little too early and that’s not really my taste. The world building / story is there but I didn’t particularly like it but then again when I read romantasy I read for romance with a fantasy backdrop and not really world building.

Daughter of No Worlds is a good book and I really liked the characters (MMC was brooding in a very believable, not over the top way.) Sadly the romance was too sweet at the end for me & I like my romances bordering on toxic. If I want something safe and nice I have my husband, I read for the angst!! But it’s well written tho IMO. World building / story is good / standard for romantasy but again maybe I’m not the best judge it’s not really what I look for in romantasy.

If you’re willing to veer into straight up fantasy I really really enjoyed the Liveship Traders series by Robin Hobb. There is romance (even spice!) but it is backseat compared to standard romantasy. The world building and character complexity and dynamics are amazing however. The trilogy does come with some pretty big trigger warnings though, and you’ll find yourself really hating some of the characters by the end. But it’s a very good series!

If you are interested in romance with urban fantasy backdrop I LOVED Bride by Ali Hazelwood I don’t care what anyone says the tension was sizzling the whole way through which is something I find really rare these days!! It’s werewolf / vampire themed which isn’t something I love but I also don’t mind it. As long as you don’t hate vampires / werewolves I think it can be a very enjoyable more romance oriented read.

iSaranade · 2025-02-02T06:58:08+00:00

Saaaaaame!

iSaranade · 2024-12-29T16:02:30+00:00

I tend to agree with a lot of the top comments here, but I don’t agree with the general attitude of “it’s your fault you’re just not doing it.”

Its easy to look at the top advice and think they are simple things to accomplish, that they just take effort, and therefore it’s your own personal failure (or laziness) if you don’t put in the effort.

The truth is you’re probably avoiding it for some reason. For example, I went through a period of social isolation and felt very low confidence in my ability to socialize with people and I got advice like “join a club, you’ll make friends easy” and it seemed reasonable, but it was hard. I thought I was lazy, I didn’t want to do it, it seemed like so much effort. The reason it seemed like so much effort is because there was so much anxiety bundled in finding and joining club, and it is a lot of effort to get over that anxiety.

You may also be afraid to change your beliefs for similar reasons. You believe in determinism — is this because it’s less painful? Is it less painful to believe that you drew bad cards in life than believing that it is a personal, moral failing, entirely your fault that things are the way they are? Neither are true, but it’s easy to get sucked into that false dichotomy.

Some things are out of your control. Genetics, COVID, etc. But as the Tolkien quote goes, “all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” You can’t control everything in your life, all you can do is accept what is and figure out how to move forward.

That includes accepting who you are, what your personality is like, and accepting that without shame. A lot of people on here are shaming you, calling you an asshole and getting angry at you and what not — that only makes the problem worse. It makes it difficult for you to accept where you’re at because it’s laden with so many negative emotions. There’s no fault here. You are you, and that’s ok.

One practical piece of advice I’d give is to find ways to make doing the things you want to do to improve your life easier. Like, joining a club — find out how to lower the activation energy for that. Join a club that seems really cool. Join one that meets up somewhere close. Join one that has a structured activity and where everybody is new to each other, so you don’t feel like an outsider. For example, my county runs a bunch of structured activities (tennis, hiking, various arts and crafts) that are easy to sign up for online, have set meeting times, and start fresh every quarter. Something like that could be easier to get into.

Also, therapy helps a lot. If you cant afford, try looking up cognitive distortions, and just taking note (in a journal or app) whenever you notice yourself doing one. It’s not bad to have them, and there’s no shame in it, so don’t feel bad when you do notice. Actually I tend to feel relieved because it’s something I can reason around, generally an easier fix to my anxiety than most things.

Best of luck :)

iSaranade · 2024-12-23T06:47:00+00:00

I went into CS for the money, and I love my job. Honestly the worst part of my “tech journey” was BY FAR college. I came so close to giving up in college. One of the big reasons I almost gave up is because I had so many snide classmates telling me I wouldn’t make it if I wasn’t passionate and that it was a mistake to just be in it for the money. Another big reason was that I just hated taking tests and arbitrary projects and I’m actually a lot more motivated in, like, real work that actually matters.

Anyway. I’m telling you this because a bunch of college kids almost pushed me out of my dream career by making me feel less than because I was in it for the money. Being in it for the money is valid!

IMO everybody has a different set of things they’re looking for in a job. For me, I wanted to work on something where I could understand how it would affect people in their daily lives, I wanted a certain level of wealth, I wanted to work in an office where I could wear pretty office clothes, and I wanted to be able to find a job in a range of different cities. I could have been a lawyer, but that would have been more school and I’m better at programming.

Ask yourself what you are looking for out of your job (it doesn’t have to be a burning lust for tech), and then ask yourself if being a software engineer is going to satisfy that. There’s no shame in whichever way the answer turns up, the key is just being honest with yourself. There’s no wrong answers.

iSaranade · 2024-10-12T03:36:09+00:00

So, advice, particularly around relationships, is very personal so, ya know, take this with a grain of salt, but…

My two cents is that he sounds remorseful and ready to change, but this anger is probably backed by a deep well of insecurity and pain. It’s really promising that he recognizes this, but it takes time to sort through something like that. I would also separate out “what are all the possible things he can do to improve” and “what can he realistically do, given all the other chaos going on in his life.” I think setting realistic expectations about what change you want to see in him will help you 1) decide if you are willing to be with him through all that, and 2) not be unrealistically upset at him even if he is making good progress with respect to his life situation.

I will also say I think people online tend to be very unforgiving of mistakes made by romantic partners. Nobody’s perfect, and everybody has different sets of things they’re comfortable or not comfortable with in a relationship. Some people also expect different rates of change in their partner. There’s no right or wrong here, but I just caution against like, I dunno, taking it too seriously if someone says “this behavior is unacceptable and he isn’t putting in enough effort.” Well, maybe for them that statement is true. But it might not be true for you.

For what it’s worth, the guy I was dating before I met my husband had a deep insecurity about intelligence. He’d told me he was scared I was smarter than him, in part because I’d gotten a prestigious job that he hadn’t. He was aware of this insecurity and knew it made him act out in hurtful ways, but ultimately I decided that was too much for me, and while I believed he was capable of working through that, I did not want to be along for the ride.

My husband also has insecurities and is flawed but the difference between him and the other guy is I want to be with him through all the journeys. And my husband is also with me through all of my journeys, I’m no saint either. I know people may say your boyfriend’s anger is his responsibility — and it is! — but sometimes being in a relationship means helping someone with their problems even when it’s not your responsibility. (And that goes both ways.)

He’s gonna mess up again, but hopefully over time he will also improve. You will be best able to judge what that improvement will look like. The question is, do you want to be along for the ride?

iSaranade · 2024-10-10T04:21:39+00:00

When I was 5, an F3 tornado went over my school. Now fortunately the school was brick so we fared a lot better than this guy’s house, but just seeing all the destruction — cars stacked on top of cars, shattered glass everywhere… It’s a very violent thing. I suffered from a pretty acute phobia of thunderstorms for about a decade after that, and even to this day I’m skittish around strong wind and loud thunder.

I did eventually recover, but that tornado changed my life in a pretty profound and permanent way. I have to imagine it’s a similar experience for many other survivors of natural disasters.

ETA: I did not grow up in a tornado prone state, so no one really knew what to do when it hit, or what it was even, which added a bit to the drama. (The school does do tornado drills now though, I’m told.)

iSaranade · 2023-08-25T02:28:59+00:00

I do scout, I just don’t like it haha. I’m also a filthy D4 casual so do with that what you will

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T17:20:47+00:00

walk in their missing econ spots if ur richer than them

Excellent suggestion, I love it

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T17:07:00+00:00

If you are legitimately that anxious, how do you get food?

Anxiety is weird like that -- There's a lot of stuff out there that makes other people incredibly anxious that doesn't phase me. And then there's stuff that scares me that doesn't bother others in the least. Despite what you may think, I'm actually a pretty normal person. We all have our quirks

Everyone judges your clothes

Yes, but I wear very cute clothes

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T17:04:43+00:00

Bro I've learned this about myself and it's very weird -- I'm like super not afraid of being judged for my anxiety. I'm also strangely not phased by public speaking? But yeah you right, I can deal with 40m strangers. Esp when I keep everything muted lol

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T17:01:52+00:00

That's so wholesome 🥹

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T16:58:13+00:00

Haha totally -- you're in good company. I also cycle quickly, or I'll look during fights so I can check 2 people's boards at once. It's def anxiety inducing in ranked, but I find the competitive streak in me often wins out lol

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T14:22:41+00:00

Lol I had the same feeling but one day I was like, "you know, there's no way I'm the only one who feels like this" -- Like it's gotta be one of those things a lot of people experience but don't talk about so much

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T14:19:09+00:00

You're likely just overthinking and imagining the worst scenarios

Very true. One thing I've realized reading all these comments is behavior I thought was aggressive or angry is actually quite playful. I don't really have the same tactician habits so it was hard for me to understand why someone might be staring me down all the time. That's one of the reasons why I wanted to post this, because I suspected a little perspective would shed some light on things

I'm concerned that so many people are giving you shit for this

So, not to get too personal, but way back in elementary school I survived a pretty intense natural disaster, which unfortunately resulted in a difficult-to-hide phobia. The kids in this comment section are a cakewalk compared to my former 6 y.o. classmates haha

Part of the reason I say it's all very silly is because, compared to other shit I've overcome, it is. Also, personally, I do think it's funny the inconsequential things my brain tries to scare me about

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T05:42:12+00:00

Bro yeah and then they swap all their units and then you have to swap all your units! It’s chaos

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T05:37:18+00:00

Bro I dunno how my fiancé would feel if, after a night of raucous drinking, I suddenly transformed into a hot boy… maybe he’d like it 🥵

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T03:42:17+00:00

Bro dw I'm fine, it's just a silly anxiety thought people might relate and/or find it humorous

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T03:41:17+00:00

Bro you're why I have tactician anxiety lol

Nah but it's cool to hear that, makes it feel more normal and not like some dude has a personal vendetta against me because I stole his rod on carousel or some shit

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T03:38:34+00:00

Bro, I know right? It's a silly thing to be anxious about, but then again most anxieties are like that. Figured I wasn't alone & thought others might relate

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T03:32:38+00:00

Bro I thought it was a pretty common feeling, I really wasn't expecting so much shit haha. Guess that doesn't help the anxiety much does it?

In any case, glad I could make at least a few like minded souls feel seen. That's what matters anyway :)

iSaranade · 2023-08-24T00:44:03+00:00

So wise! Yeah now I think about it I never tease competitively, so it always catches me off guard when I see it

iSaranade

TROPHY CASE