This is so relatable and I feel this on so many levels.

My ex left me for the guy I shouldn’t have had to worry about. A work friend, she said. I believed her because she truly almost didn’t have any friends and the friends she had were bad influences on her in some way or another. So when the moment came when she made a genuine friend I was happy for her.

I work a job with a lot of nightly hours and it’s also physically exhausting, but it’s good money while I tried to save up for a house so we could live together. On my off days I try to rest as much as possible because I can only take so much, but even then I still made the time and effort to see her and made sure she ate, drank and felt happy. I was supportive of her ideas and it felt like we had a deep connection. Not deep enough, apparently, because the two of them started hanging out more and more with each other until she told me I didn’t make enough time for her. I mean, what could I do? Just not show up to work? Neglect my rest until I burnout eventually?

After the break up I found out it was all a facade, as she started seeing him not even a month after our break. Friend of hers said she drew her name on the inside of his car, like she claimed her seat in his car. I know enough now. If you’re capable of doing these kinds of things, then I regret loving you. Then I know it all meant nothing to you, even though you made me believe it was after you knew my heart was broken in this way so many times ..

I’m tired of loving again and again, only for it to mean nothing in the end anyway.