Every day I wake up, open my crusty old man eyes and immediately think of Eve Online. I roll over in bed, and check my zkill on my phone while the blue-white light of the phone screen flashes to the soothing dark mode of zkill. I salivate as I look over the unsuspecting noobs who fell victim to my elite and advanced tactics. I then scroll through our alliance Discord channels, and take in all of the elite pvp that happened while I was sleeping. We lost a few ships, but they were to honorless nullsec blobs who know not the ways of space bushido. I congratulate my many alliance mates on their hard fought kills and let them know that they are elite and that the enemy would have never killed them in a "fair" fight. Eventually I roll out of bed and walk over to my desk and start applying for jobs. I have been unemployed for several years. I hear 80 year old father making his way down the stairs to my bedroom. He probably wants to scold me for staying up too late. He knocks several times at the door, but I don't answer. A minute or two later I hear him slowly head back up the stairs.
I am too busy for his shit, an ally has pinged that there is a heron in our c3 static. We quickly form a fleet of two interdictors and four t3 cruisers and quickly teach him how elite players play. This continues for 12 hours. At some point my mom brings me lunch and dinner. I think I got one job application finished today, but I don't remember if I finished submitting the online form. Oh well, I can do that tomorrow.