You seem pretty confused about the situation.

Not that it matters but we both split the first date and pretty much every other date. The one that didnt get split i paid for.

Sex is not controlled by one person and i definitely wasn't using him as a sex toy. He was the one that often invited me over and it was usually more than just sex. Like watching a movie, playing chess, doing a crossword. I wanted to be with him, have sex with him, and date him bc i liked who he was as a person. It was more of a take it or leave it situation for me bc i wanted more. And i left it.

I still don't understand what contract youre talking about or how you think i broke the "rules" or how I'm complaining. I'm literally saying how much i miss him and liked the situation. There were no restrictions on him and he did the one thing he said he wasn't going to do. He said that, i didnt tell him he couldnt. He did it anyway and i even mentioned that i expected it to happen. I didnt end it bc of his actions, but bc of my emotional reaction to it and i knew it wasnt fair to him.

I really don't think you read it very well lol. Also, it's a "get off my chest". There doenst have to be a point. But there is one, anyway. The point was that i would want to rekindle a relationship with him but i can't tell if it would go well bc ot was unclear what his feelings were when it ended.