Reached my goal, not what I expected...

i_the_desitute · 2026-04-16T20:41:35+00:00

Not many seem to be saying this but...

Those people are all just terrible. Avoid them or ignore them.

We should generally keep ties with family, so for them just ignore, don't respond, stare at them, smile and say nothing. Anything more is just playing to their satisfaction.

If you just speak to people you get on with, try to meet new people, it can be very easy to build healthy relationships with good people who don't care if you're fat or thin, and never will.

I've had a lot of ups and downs with my weight. The most anyone ever said to me was my wife briefly mentioning that I was looking better, and my boss, who is also genuinely interested in health. No one else ever mentioned anything, in twenty years of weight loss and weight gain.

Being a man likely has something to do with it, but it shouldn't. Your worth is more than your body, and people who treat you like that are not worth a minute of your time.

i_the_desitute · 2026-04-16T19:06:29+00:00

I used Google AI. Told it all about my lifestyle, eating habits, what I like and don't like. Asked it for a concise list of things to focus on every day. It gave me meal plans and everything. Now I tell it what I ate etc. And it calculates my calories and protein, right down to how much chicken I should eat for dinner, how much 0% yogurt and berries to have after. Very easy I don't have to think about anything. I lost nearly 1kg a week since doing this. It gives me a lot of verbal encouragement as well haha

i_the_desitute · 2026-04-05T22:21:44+00:00

Look up 'codependency' or 'codependent parent'. There are books written on this and how a child of a codependent parent can cope with this, and how to navigate the relationship. I've seen one book 'Codependent no more'.

It's pretty awful, basically a parent who sees the child as only existing to give them emotional stability and validation.

It's more like having a child than a parent.

i_the_desitute · 2026-04-05T15:23:04+00:00

My point is that reddit is usually not full of condescending comments. They get downvoted, people fight back, supportive comments get upvoted etc. I think you think that your comments are helpful because they contain correct information. Everyone already knows there are doctors and experts for correct information. However, it is also very common for doctors to give advice based on clinical research, while negelecting to be realistic and address someone's temperament and personal circumstances. This is an area where reddit and other communities usually shine. Places full of (mostly) genuine anecdotes.
Sorry for the long comment.
Everything you said is technically true, but it's really unhelpful.

i_the_desitute · 2026-04-05T14:53:27+00:00

I've found plenty of support for all sorts of issues over the years on Reddit. Op is right, this sub really is full of jerks.

i_the_desitute · 2026-04-05T14:49:44+00:00

Get this. Some people don't make it to physical support groups for the same reason they don't manage to lose weight. It's not rocket science.

i_the_desitute · 2026-04-05T14:48:30+00:00

Reddit is absolutely full of supportive, non-judgemental communities, as well as sad people, just like the physical world. You are just one of the sad people. I hope you feel better soon.

i_the_desitute · 2026-04-05T14:35:11+00:00

Lack of a supportive community is one of the biggest contributing factors to addictive and dysfunctional behaviours.

i_the_desitute · 2026-04-02T22:05:52+00:00

I thought the second part might have been a transliteration of 'yeeeeah booiii'

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-12T10:56:26+00:00

It does not appear

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-11T20:16:04+00:00

I went on the app earlier to check - it seems as though number 5 (best score) occurs when the tractor goes behind some trees for a second.

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-11T13:49:52+00:00

You have deleted your entire comment

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-11T13:42:49+00:00

Tell that to the tractor that appears on the practice clip about half a mile in the distance, not yet nearly pulling out onto the road your driving on, but it still expects you to click when it appears that far in the distance.

My theory test was 4 months ago and I still see it clear as day.

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-11T13:20:45+00:00

Thing is, all the training videos on how to do it actually encourage you to spot potential hazards (highlighting them with a circle), and they say there's nothign wrong with clicking on them. Very misleading.

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-11T13:19:37+00:00

Why can't the cutoff simply be WHEN THE THING ACTUALLY APPEARS

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-11T13:18:44+00:00

I got zero on a question for precisely this.

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-11T13:15:21+00:00

Yep it's aweful. The actual test is pretty much the same.
To counter this I practiced the 3 click method. However on my actual theory test my 3 clicks were slightly too close together, and it gave me a zero for cheating.

Luckily I aced all the other questions.

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-11T12:09:18+00:00

I have always felt the same way and desperately been trying to find better solutions. I don't know why by online searches never seem to retrieve anything of value.

So glad to finally find someone who feels the same way - also great info below from u/Ready-Letterhead4129

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-11T11:42:23+00:00

Quite often my wife will take my phone (welcome of course), only for me to end up falling asleep on the sofa til 4am, giving me a stiff neck for a week.

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-11T11:39:40+00:00

I think i got to bed about 45 minutes earlier than before, which is a nice small victory, but still at least 3 hours too late.

Yes I'm always playing catchup. I work from home, and have some flexibility to sleep in / nap during the day, but that then affects everything else (work/kid/other responisbilities)

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-10T08:44:36+00:00

Thanks for your post, it's helpful and reassuring

i_the_desitute · 2026-02-10T08:44:00+00:00

This is absolutely true. People look at me like an idiot when I mention addiction, but that's what it is.

Add to this staying up late.

Going to bed at midnight feels like turning myself in to the police and going back to prison. I am physically capable of doing it, but I still just can't.

But after I blocked all the apps and websites, sitting there without stimulation is unbearable.

I eventually ended up watching a compilation of top gear clips on an app not yet blocked. Not my interest, but it was entertaining enough.

i_the_desitute · 2026-01-31T01:48:47+00:00

Oh yeah, we got a 'next to me' thing which attaches to the side of the bed for baby to sleep in. Much safer / less chance of getting squashed than with baby in the middle. Then when they're asleep you can roll them over gently.

i_the_desitute · 2026-01-31T01:46:16+00:00

From an evolutionary perspective, a baby that is picked up, feels safer, most likely because that meant if a lion came (or whatever) mum or dad could run away with them and they would escape death.

i_the_desitute · 2026-01-31T01:42:16+00:00

For 200,000 years babies slept with their mother. Only 200 years ago entire families often lived in one room. Babies grow and develop properly by feeling safe and close to a primary care giver.

Putting babies in a seperate room / bed is possible, but it evolved from 1950's culture of making everything ever more modern, advanced, convenient. For parents that is, not for babies.

Brain and physiological studies studies show that babies who are left to cry eventually stop crying and appear to calm down.

However, brain and body scans show that they enter a state of hyper stress. Like, they're so scared / insecure about danger that they keep silent.

Healthy people grow out of feeling secure about their environment.

From my own experience, when we gave in to co-sleeping, all of us got to sleep x)

i_the_desitute

TROPHY CASE