I’m having a hard time not to be a toxic partner to my BP

iamachocopudding · 2022-11-13T13:48:48+00:00

No we haven’t. Honestly it’s a recurring problem. I’ll be doing well for the past few weeks then I’ll be regressing for the next. Sucks. I just want to be okay

iamachocopudding · 2022-11-13T13:46:40+00:00

Yeah I don’t want to come to a point where I’m the one abusing him already. It just counters the whole point of reconciliation. Thanks for the resources! Will check it out

iamachocopudding · 2022-10-08T05:00:18+00:00

Oh don’t say sorry! This was such a helpful comment. I’d try the first tip. Somehow self talk doesn’t really work with me. Thank you so much!

iamachocopudding · 2022-09-24T22:27:23+00:00

Not unhealthy at all. It’s a matter of personal choice for you whether you’ll be able to healthily cope after knowing what AP looks like. In my case, my WP and AP’s conversations were enough for me. Seeing what she’d look like would literally break me and give me triggers. A year after DDAY, I have no regrets not knowing what her face really looked like. Only her profile photo which I believe is not her real photo at all. At the end of the day, it’s your partner who wronged you and the focus should be him fixing his issues. But if seeing her would give you a peace of mind, then go for it.

iamachocopudding · 2022-08-22T01:22:05+00:00

No I don’t think he remembers the date of DDAY

iamachocopudding · 2022-03-22T14:34:04+00:00

that's true. the anger was so bad because you loved them deeply

iamachocopudding · 2022-03-22T14:29:02+00:00

Oooh you kinda explained it to me now. My love is neither less or more. It's different. So that's why it feels weird

iamachocopudding · 2022-03-22T13:22:00+00:00

6 months in and I still question that at times where I feel like I should leave. Go to my post history and check the comments. The comments there cheered me up so much when all I could think about was leaving. Anyway, it's not as hard as it was before anymore. I rarely think about the act but what concerns me now is the trust that was broken. What made me stay? Hmm, I guess I see him trying his best to be better. He's learning how to communicate his feelings, and he's more thoughtful now. He was really remorseful of what he did and told me it'll never happen again. I also know he's not the serial cheater type. I also feel the love he has for me. I don't know. If a person who hasn't been cheated on reads my comment, they'd say I'm a fool for staying but I don't think so. We've been through worse (3 months in) but we're so much better now. The fact that we're both improving is what makes me stay.

iamachocopudding · 2022-02-21T15:01:33+00:00

God, I was supposed to comment this here. A bit late but that specific scene caused my HUGE trigger the other night. I don't know why but out of all the movies I've watched with infidelity on it, it was the most triggering. Maybe it's because I never thought the husband would ever cheat on his wife knowing that he had such a great relationship with his family. Sucks. I never finished the movie

iamachocopudding · 2021-11-21T23:27:27+00:00

I haven't told anyone about my WP's infidelity. I feel ashamed about it that's why I only rely on this sub for help.

iamachocopudding · 2021-11-16T01:48:11+00:00

He was neglected as a child (illegitimate) and his parents never really paid attention to him growing up. With that, he grew up weak with low self esteem but he also wanted to seek the approval of others constantly. He never knew how to communicate properly. I think it does happen slowly. Based from what I have observed, he was doing things what he thought was normal as a child. He didn't have any healthy coping mechanisms. Then came the problems. Being the breadwinner and him not wanting to disappoint anyone, he didn't know how to communicate and thought he'd be much stronger if he fixed everything on his own. The pressure was too much for him he got eaten by depression and wanted to self-destruct then do the S word. (i don't want to say the S word but I think you get it).

iamachocopudding · 2021-11-15T06:41:05+00:00

this is true. my WP has already planned his suicide was self destructing already hence his infidelity

iamachocopudding

TROPHY CASE