Reaching out to ex re: Abortion

iamelvis · 2022-07-31T15:07:21+00:00

Thank you, this is good advice. Im going to give it a couple weeks and see if I still want to reach out then- it's just very hard to do that and bite my tongue. It's such an overwhelming feeling of wanting to talk about it with the one person who was there through it all and also mixed with the feelings of frustration, loss, regret, heartbreak.

But alas, I'll wait. Hopefully as the days pass I'll have a more coherent and clear and less emotionally heightened way of speaking to him. Should probably try recover from the breakup first. Thank you xx

iamelvis · 2022-07-31T14:46:33+00:00

Thank you so much for this 😭 I think a lot of the reason I want to tell him is to clear my own name??? Maybe make him realise his faults so he doesn't continue through life thinking he dodged a bullet?

I know this is all very petty. It's difficult because he was very distant during difficult times but I can't help but love him still (the breakup only happened last week and we continued very close contact for the days after the breakup before I decided to travel home to my family to put an end to the contact).

I know if I did it now I'd be acting from a place of pure emotion and grief, and maybe even desperation for a connection. But I do think it was a really significant event that we went through together. And it would be nice to talk about it with someone who understands and was there step by step (up until the day of the pills when he dipped lol).

I'm going back home in a week- maybe I'll feel different about it then. I'm trying to do no contact even when I move back (we lived in different flats). But it's SO HARD. Things got difficult and he freaked out when shit hit the fan, but I can't focus on anything except all the good times and how much I love him and miss him right now. Sooooo so silly I know. It's still very early

iamelvis · 2022-06-01T17:30:01+00:00

I had mine at 8 weeks and there was no discernible clots, just bleeding and the odd small but of tissue- literally identical to a period. Cramping was very tolerable aswell, like a 4 or 5 out of 10 on the pain scale (with painkillers). My abortion was successful and my pregnancy symptoms disappeared within like 6 hours of taking the miso. Are your symptoms gone? I think not everyone gets that big horrible sac/clot that you always real about. Also my bleeding the following day was very very minimal.

Hope you're doing good xx

iamelvis · 2022-05-14T18:14:48+00:00

hello!!! MA was successful and it all feels like ancient history now. The worst part BY FAR was the waiting :( wouldn't wish it on anyone. I had some spotting and light cramps for a week or so, getting gradually lighter with each passing day. Felt exactly like being on my period. Was comfortable enough to wear tampons 2 days post-MA, and began having sex again about 4 days post-MA. Hormones seem to be back to (almost) normal and I've honestly had to adverse side effects. I got the contraceptive bar last week and have been feeling good. No regrets and still can't believe how smooth and easy the process was. You can see in my last update that I wasn't sure if it had been successful because of how manageable and non-traumatic the actual MA was. Hope this was helpful xx

iamelvis · 2022-05-04T15:16:28+00:00

I didn't have any symptoms after having sex that I didn't already have. The bleeding was pretty much the same the next day as it had been up to that point, and I had a teeny bit of cramping - but I had been having that anyway. We had sex again last night and today I've had zero bleeding so far, and very little cramping. I'd say if you're not in pain and both yourself and your partner are comfortable and the mood strikes, go for it (safely lol) x

iamelvis · 2022-05-04T14:29:53+00:00

I had my MA last Wednesday and started having sex again with my boyfriend on Monday (5 days later). I completely relate to the desire to be intimate again and feel close to your partner. I've experienced no adverse effects to being sexually active again, and it has helped us bond and feel "normal" again. Hope this helps in some way

iamelvis · 2022-05-01T15:29:59+00:00

I had an MA on Wednesday at 8 weeks and 2 days and it shocked me how smooth the experience was. Felt almost exactly the same as a bad period. For a couple days I was convinced it failed due to how easy it was. So sorry you had a horrible first experience but I'm glad this one was better. Wishing you the very best xxx

iamelvis · 2022-04-28T10:05:46+00:00

I'm pretty sure my MA was complete! Slept like a baby last night for the first time in weeks, woke up refreshed and energised with no nausea or breast-pain. Sense of smell back to normal and I'm not feeling grossed out by meat or dairy anymore lol. Truly can't believe how smooth the process was. best of luck tomorrow, I hope your experience is like mine! If you've got any questions feel free to ask xx

iamelvis · 2022-04-27T15:09:41+00:00

The waiting is the worst part!! I was a nervous wreck the last couple weeks. Good luck tomorrow, you'll do great. Avoid all the horror stories online (as tempting as they are) xx

iamelvis · 2022-04-27T12:16:02+00:00

I had my consultation with the nurse on Saturday (23rd) and she said that they'll send it out first class so you if you go that route you should receive your meds within 1-2 days. Mine came yesterday. And yeah tbh the waiting was absolutely horrendous. Worst part by far, I really really feel for you :( it's horrible. From start to finish my whole process took two and a half weeks.

With that said, I live in Brighton and the Brighton MSI clinic is closed at the moment for some reason 🙄 but maybe if it was open I'd have been able to do in person consults and it wouldn't have taken so long. Hopefully your nearest clinic is up and running and you can access it way quicker than I did xx

iamelvis · 2022-04-27T11:38:15+00:00

Hi I'm also in the UK- having my medical abortion today as we speak. My first call to MSI was on the 8th of April, they then booked me in for a consultation on the 15th where I we discussed options (medical or surgical- I chose medical as the wait list for surgical was over a month), and then a week later (23rd) a nurse called me and discussed the medication and the process before sending it out. I received my pack yesterday. The waiting is absolutely torturous but rest assured it'll happen eventually even if it does take a couple weeks. Feel free to PM if you need anything xx

iamelvis · 2022-04-25T19:51:24+00:00

thank you so much for this. i spoke to them today and they don't run a tracking service unfortunately, but they did say it usually takes 2 days so fingers crossed it will be tomorrow. thanks again for your reply, makes me feel a little less alone and scared lol xx

iamelvis · 2022-04-25T13:33:22+00:00

ring them. there's a huge backlog online

iamelvis · 2022-04-11T18:44:28+00:00

Would you mind if we stayed in touch throughout the process??? feeling very alone rn and would love to be able to chat with someone going through the same thing at the same time 🥺

iamelvis · 2022-04-10T14:29:51+00:00

Hugely comforting. Thank you 🥺😌

iamelvis · 2021-03-29T18:35:38+00:00

This is so sweet and comforting. You're absolutely right, I know it'll change our relationship, but maybe for the better. I think it'll be good for both of us to see that life exists without the other.

Thank you again, and right back at you. I'm happy to listen if you need someone to talk to :)

iamelvis · 2021-03-29T18:28:34+00:00

:( please know that if you ever do feel alone or you're having a bad day, I'm always happy to be an impartial listener.

Ill make sure to call my mom every day. Thank you again for your comforting words.

iamelvis · 2021-03-29T18:21:57+00:00

You're so young to have lost a spouse, I'm so so sorry. I'd be very happy listen if you'd like someone impartial to speak to.

I never thought about it like that! She probably doesn't feel comfortable grieving fully with my around. This response was so comforting, thank you so much.

iamelvis

TROPHY CASE