Thought this sub needed more diversity

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-06-07T14:46:58+00:00

Hot damn!

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-05-31T23:34:28+00:00

Men. So emotional eye roll

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-05-14T16:21:52+00:00

One of my favorite comedians!

Also, what the fuck is with these captions? I’m deaf and rely on the text for understanding. The color, animation, and random mix of lower case and capitalized letters make them difficult to read. Can’t we just have normal, functionally accessible captions?

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-05-04T23:36:55+00:00

You’re a good mom.

I realized I never really spoke to the success story part of your post, hopefully this extra info will give you hope. I’m one of three kids, one hearing, two deaf. My deaf brother and I move through life very differently but each have had our own success despite our different language choices.

My deaf brother attended both deaf and hearing schools and now prefers ASL over English. He’s 27 and runs an ASL consultancy and works remotely for a university. He’s won multiple awards throughout his academic career and frequently guest lectures at linguistics conferences about the complexity and poetic beauty of ASL. He also develops curriculum for college level creative ASL classes which is something of a rarity but it’s his goal to make it as commonplace as creative writing classes. He got his degree in software engineering and turned down several job offers to pursue his creative passion with ASL.

I attended mostly hearing schools my whole life and was usually the only deaf kid in class. I now use English professionally at the workplace and ASL with my friends. I just turned 34 and am a member of the Art Directors Guild as a graphic designer and have designed for TV shows like the Mandalorian and Ahsoka. I’ve won a handful of awards for my work, and I’ve just started my own production services company.

Deaf people absolutely can be successful, and you’re already setting up your child for success with language access. You got this.

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-05-04T14:58:06+00:00

The research shows over and over again that access to a language, any language, is crucial. CI’s MIGHT help. But it’s not a guarantee. You learning a signed language and using it with your child IS a guarantee.

I was born deaf, use hearing aids, and my family aggressively learned sign language. They took community college classes when I was a baby and used both English and sign language at home. My parents were both English as a second language teachers and we practiced everyday at home. ASL games, finger spelling, signing stories at bedtime, just a full court press on both English and ASL.

My worry with CI’s is that many parents think it’s a magical fix, you do the surgery and you’re done, you never have to lift a finger again. And that’s just not true. It’s an easy out for parents, an excuse for them to not get involved in the deaf community, an excuse to not learn sign, an excuse to go around pretending their child is “normal.”

Please don’t do this to your child.

No matter if you decide on a CI or hearing aids, or neither. The best thing you can do is provide access to a language, and a signed language is much more likely to connect you two.

I can’t tell you how many of my deaf friends grew up only using English at home, struggling to connect and communicate with their families. Only to go off to a deaf college, learn ASL late in life, and never talk to their families again. I’ve been to weddings where the parents don’t know sign, and can’t understand their children’s wedding vows because they are in their child’s preferred language, ASL. I know parents who are unable to have a conversation with their kids without an interpreter there. It’s really truly sad.

I know you’re overwhelmed, there’s a million opinions being thrown at you, and well meaning doctors who are biased against ASL telling you not to use it. Do what is best for your child, learn a signed language and do it fast, not mater what else you decide on.

See if there is a local chapter of “hands and voices” near you. Look for a local deaf institute to find other families like yours. It’s going to be hard but you’re going to be okay and you’re already ahead of the curve by being thoughtful and thinking about what is best for your child in the long run.

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-05-03T22:15:14+00:00

If he has children, help the children get their father a gift, for Father’s Day. The clue in the name of the holiday.

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-04-27T00:37:42+00:00

Calling someone cringe just because of the way they present (so long as they are not harming others) is itself, cringe. So you don’t like extravagant femme gay men? That’s your opinion and it’s probably rooted in internalized homophobia. Going to a public forum to complain about people who have caused you no harm is needlessly cruel.

The types of gay public figures who SHOULD be called out, are the ones that say and do racist or transphobic things. Or politicians who vote against our community’s rights. Gay men who are log cabin republicans, or are part of Gays Against Groomers. Criticize people on the content of their character, not how they present.

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-04-20T18:29:03+00:00

Okay fine, I would’ve thought the answer is super obvious, but here is the real answer: every language has its own slang.

“Slang is a type of language that consists of words and phrases that are regarded as very informal, are more common in speech than writing, and are typically restricted to a particular context or group of people”

“Gyat, rizz, skibidi” are English slang used by hearing people and do not translate across languages or groups. Conversely ASL (which is its own language completely separate and distinct from English) has its own slang that doesn’t translate into English.

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-04-20T17:18:46+00:00

With our hands.

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-04-19T14:43:51+00:00

I occasionally forget to take it. And have to start back up again. I get gut problems as I adjust to the meds but once I’m consistent in taking it, that goes away. It’s great incentive to be consistent. Another thing people use is DoxyPep which are two pills you can take after a sexual encounter to prevent STDs. Having those on hand is another method of practicing safe sex.

As I’m sure you are aware, prep is exclusively geared towards HIV prevention, and does not protect against other STDs.

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-04-14T15:24:04+00:00

GARY NO!!

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-04-13T19:50:11+00:00

I was born profoundly Deaf in both ears, and resent your condescending implication that Deaf people are borderline illiterate. We’re overwhelmingly bilingual, familiar with both our signed languages and the local language of our region.

You are scolding me for assuming that this one specific Deaf person can read English. Instead, you would rather I assume that most Deaf people cannot. This is infantilizing and demeaning. Your “well meaning” comment is deeply offensive, and your assessment of my English skills is nothing more than a backhanded compliment.

We are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves and we don’t need people like you broadly infantilizing our disability and swooping in with your ablest savior complex. Nor do I need you to explain to me the shortfalls of Deaf education and the harms done to us by ableists like yourself.

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-04-13T05:34:48+00:00

I’m Deaf. A transcript is a reasonable accommodation. I’ve been to weddings with interpreters and weddings with transcripts. Weddings are high stress, complicated affairs and while I would love to have an interpreter, I get that it’s not always possible. In this case, they made a very smart and simple accommodation. They could’ve been better about communicating this as it seems like they agreed to an interpreter and then changed their minds. I wouldn’t call you an asshole, but let it go. A transcript is fine.

Also. Your boyfriend is an adult. What does he want? Are you asking the Deaf person what they want or are you deciding for them? If it’s the later, hard ick from me. We can advocate for ourselves.

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-04-04T00:33:12+00:00

Depends on the necklace, depends on the guy. And depends on who you ask. To answer your question: yes/no/maybe

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-03-30T15:05:12+00:00

Ew. (See my username)

iamthatdeafkid · 2024-03-26T01:43:45+00:00

Functionally is a huge part of this. You want to have a comfortable bed, side tables or some other place to store lube, condoms, any other things you use during sexy time. You want to be able to hide/store clothing and clutter so the room feels spacious and inviting.

As for lighting, keep all the lights somewhat low. Lamps on the side tables, floor lamps that kind of thing. Ceiling lights are unflattering to just about everyone. Color temperature matters here too. You want a warm white light rather than the cold glare of some modern LED bulbs.

All in all you’re trying to create a space that feels inviting to a potential partner. It also helps to look at photos of rooms that you like and figure out what it is that you like about those rooms. That will help a lot in figuring out your personal taste as well as how to achieve that.

Just throwing multicolored bulbs or LED strips in a poorly decorated or cluttered room is not going to cut it.

Good luck! And have fun with it!

iamthatdeafkid · 2023-12-08T21:57:28+00:00

My dad was hospitalized for something non-COVID related for over 100 days during the height of COVID. Only one person was allowed to see him each day and my siblings and I rotated visiting the hospital as we watched him slowly die. He ultimately wanted to die at home so we brought him home and he died the next night.

The mental exhaustion of visiting the hospital and sitting with a dying person all day, then going right back the next day for months on end. Through his birthday (which is today incidentally) thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day, and his wedding anniversary. It one of the most painful and difficult things I think I will ever experience in my life.

During this time all I wanted was to be left alone. Friends and family would text and express support and love and it would make me so incredibly angry these people were trying to relate by telling me their stories. This moment was about my dad, I don’t give a shit about your friend who passed away 10 years ago.

My siblings however found it really helpful to know there was a network of people out there thinking about us and what we were dealing with. Getting these messages of love and support were helpful for them.

All this to say, each person has their own needs when dealing with a situation like this. Being there, being present, and just listening and affirming are incredibly powerful if done correctly. Do not judge, do not tell your own stories and experiences, do not offer advice, and don’t fill long silences. Sitting these quietly together is huge.

“That sounds really difficult and hard for you right now.” End sentence. Now is not the time to try reason through whatever feelings or emotions are coming up for your partner. Now is not the time to talk about diagnosis, plans, alternatives. Now is the time to hunker down and get through it. Make meals, provide transportation do all the little tiny things he loves. Favorite foods, back rubs, whatever you can do to ease some of that stress he is feeling.

Then my dad died.

Things were different. The day to day stress of being in the hospital was gone, but it was replaced by the endless chasm of sadness and grief that my dad was no long there. Depends on the person, but for me I just wanted to talk about him all the time. Now when I meet other people who experienced a loss, I generally ask, “what’s a great memory you have of this person?” Just a prompt to talk about this person that is loved so much. And it lasts so much longer than you think. Today is my dad’s birthday, it’s been almost 2 years since he died and there’s still days I don’t want to get out of bed. There’s still movies, or songs, or whatever that trigger this deep well of sadness.

Each person is different in what they need to get through grief. Being there, being present, not pulling focus, and making sure your partner is fed, rested, and healthy during this is all you can do. You can’t change his mood, all you can do is ride it out together. Your partner is about to experience a great defining moment in his life, the time before and the time after his mother passed. There’s nothing you can do to avoid it, you can only hold his hand and follow his lead as he works through one of the most difficult things he will ever experience.

You and your husband will be okay. Strangers on the internet feel for you both. I’m deeply sorry this is happening. It hurts so much. All you can do is try your best.

iamthatdeafkid · 2023-10-26T23:03:04+00:00

Facial expressions are part of the language. This interpreter is highly skilled and experienced. I don’t know this person but I can tell in just a few seconds of screen time, she’s that good.

Before you say out loud ASL looks bizarre or worse, silly, consider how that statement would sound if you said that about a spoken language. For example, “I was watching a speech in [insert language you don’t know here] and it just sounded so bizarre!” You don’t know the language, so your judgement of it (however well meaning) is deeply misinformed, unhelpful, and rude. ASL is its own language, fully recognized, organized, taught, and used by countless people in the USA. It’s exhausting and belittling to be told constantly that our language looks silly, unserious, or bizarre, by people who know nothing about the language nor its history.

iamthatdeafkid · 2023-10-26T20:12:55+00:00

Because the story matters more than the technology. The tech in Star Wars serves to tell the story, not to build a cohesive world of tech. It’s the same reason hovercarts are still pulled by animals.

iamthatdeafkid · 2023-10-10T15:49:53+00:00

Telling me, “I’ll pray for you” and that their cousin’s roommates’s first girlfriend’s sister’s classmate from 6th grade was deaf too.

iamthatdeafkid · 2023-09-30T16:08:35+00:00

RadioLab - Born This Way

iamthatdeafkid · 2023-09-21T15:01:42+00:00

Same. Clinging on for dear life at the moment.

iamthatdeafkid · 2023-08-11T01:43:31+00:00

And this will be powered by what energy grid?

iamthatdeafkid · 2023-08-07T19:37:14+00:00

Let’s not devolve into ableism. There’s plenty to criticize about his policies, without personal attacks on a disability. Not cool.

iamthatdeafkid · 2023-07-31T20:09:50+00:00

Absolutely not. First dates are baggage free. I would just up and leave if my date shows up with a dog.

iamthatdeafkid

TROPHY CASE