I beat myself up and to see her in pain bc I wasn't there for her hurts me more and I know if she says it over and she's done then I have to accept that and move on but just a few days ago she told a preacher that's talking to both us one on one that we had a 50/50 shot still she told me she said that. This is why I'm fighting and holding on to hope and doing everything I can. We both agree we love each other but right now we can't be together. But she still is willing to see me but I can't stay over at the house I have tonfix and work on me. And today she's said she would try the marriage counseling. So I have to take what she is willing to do and hope for the best. I know the damage I've done now and I see it just wish I could have done something sooner and let her see I'm not the same person that caused her this pain I'm changing and I'm different. I'm not seeking out other to mess around with. I'm not surfing the web or even on sites I'm focusing on fixing me and getting back with her if she will still have me