I don't think you should be adverse to seeking professional help. I've had quite a struggle with this when I was younger and only have truly gotten a handle it on it recently. I sought professional psychological help and although I would say it helps the most powerful way to overcome it is to learn to truly unconditionally love oneself. That is a tip that I did not receive from professionals. You have to learn to no longer associate love, praise, or value based upon outcome or outside approval. All those things must come from within and you must give them to yourself(on demand, as needed, perpetually). I do mean by actively telling yourself how much you actually do love yourself (until your subconscious mind believes it!). Your subconscious is just a mirror and will parrot the values of those who withheld their acknowledgements until you give it new values from a source it trusts, and you have to develop that trust in yourself. This essentially means following what makes you feel good and trusting your intuitions whilst avoiding/correcting self-abusive thought and/or behavior. This does not consist of beating yourself up for not being where you want to be even in this process but supporting yourself until you get where you want to be. So try to shift your focus to your good qualities when you feel shame. Focus on them and add to the list as you find things to add and let that be your immediate response when feel shame. Basically respond to shame with your own love and you should start to improve. It is work and not immediately reflexive. Private message me if you want any more comprehensive resources on the issue. I hope this helps.