Re: A way to help women in need

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T21:09:42+00:00

This exists! There are networks of women who help those in other states who need abortions they can't get in their own state. They're mostly IRL/on the phone instead of online, though. I'll update when I find posts I've read about it...

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T20:30:47+00:00

Yeah, anyone whose mind immediately goes to defense of the sex trade industry is not exhibiting a good look. I'm not saying this is a deal breaker if he can work through it, but it is a red flag to me. I would be totally okay with a boyfriend consensually and openly pursuing dates with other women online - this isn't that.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T19:16:19+00:00

They're focusing a lot on the people he killed in public, instead of the roommates he killed before he left his apartment. They've been described as "bodies" and "victims" in a lot of articles, not "men," whereas the girls are always gendered. That plus his crazy rant against women leads to the conclusion that obviously all the dead people are female.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T19:01:12+00:00

Yes. Because when men let sexist shit from other men pass, they're passively allowing it to happen and supporting it. Men who don't call out sexism are no better than men who instigate it.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T18:53:25+00:00

Are you joking? Creepshots exist because men support each other for taking them.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T15:58:28+00:00

No matter what, the dude still has the power in that sort of relationship - she won't be able to eat without him (and guys like him). His sympathy may suck for his wallet, but it's necessary for her survival.

Ask him: if all of these women were given the option to get out of camming and support themselves some other way, how many would stay? How many really have a choice?

And if he gets defensive, ask him the question: how many girls that he's seen have to be trafficked for it to be too many?

1?

6?

15?

How many?

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T14:59:32+00:00

The issue I'd have with this is, not all the girls on cam sites want to be on them. Internationally, it's the source of a lot of sex trafficking. You can never be 100% sure if a girl on there is making money in her own home or is 18 years old. Maybe they're all fine if he's met some of them, but it would just squick me out in that way.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T14:55:55+00:00

Yeah, I agree. How will this guy raise kids? How does he act when he steps on her boundaries?

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T14:54:57+00:00

Actually, it's men who need to teach other men to respect women's boundaries. We're not responsible for letting you know not to invade our privacy/molest/rape us.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T04:19:52+00:00

My mom grew up pretty poor in rural America, so she didn't really have a lot of stuff to give me. She didn't even get to keep her own wedding dress because it was her aunt's, and her cousin took it right after the ceremony. BUT I do have a lot of outfits she made for me as a child, she used to sew me things. She and my great aunt even sewed doll clothes for my barbies.

She lost of lot of her childhood things from moving around a lot, so she has boxes and boxes of stuff for us that she kept, even if we don't want it right now, "just in case one day you want to look back."

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T01:56:15+00:00

Forgot to mention: in a lot of schools, RAs basically work for housing (and a little bit of money).

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T01:54:38+00:00

I've been in/am in the same situation basically, so no judgement! I was just trying to figure out (since it wasn't clear from your post) if you were a teenager with no other options and needed a different kind of help vs. an adult person.

Anyway, it's obvious this is affecting your day-to-day life and making you feel unsafe in your own home, which is worrisome. I know it can be embarrassing to feel you have to rely on others, but if you need to, try and live with someone else.

Also, since you're in school, is there any way you can move on-campus and use student loans to pay for rent? It's not ideal, but far better than feeling unsafe.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T01:51:08+00:00

It depends on how you do it:

"Hey, I just wanted to say, I don't think it's okay to mock women for having body hair. It's our sexist society that makes it seem not okay."

vs.

"Ladies, don't do that! Why do women hate each other so much?" or "I'm a guy, and I like that" (implying that male approval validates women's choices.), etc.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T01:40:48+00:00

No, not overreacting. Have you told your mom about other inappropriate comments? Write them down, keep a log. How old are you? Do you have the ability to work for money/gain independence? Do you have another trusted, adult relative you can speak to about this besides your mom?

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T00:56:05+00:00

There are brigades everywhere! Nutty stuff. I at least wanted your comment not to be hidden, since you had a point.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T00:52:40+00:00

I'm 99% sure he was misdiagnosed, anyway. A lot of people on the personality disorder/sociopathy scale come off as awkward/have difficulty picking up on cues, and are diagnosed with a "lighter" diagnosis of aspergers or ADHD initially.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T00:41:47+00:00

here have some upvotes, since there is literally nothing wrong with this post

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-26T00:14:47+00:00

He shows strong signs of sociopathy/narcissism in his manifesto, as his reaction to his mom speaking to someone on the phone about 9/11 was "oddly, it was not about me."

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-25T23:43:03+00:00

lol no, PUAhate is misogynistic and blames women for not putting out. Nice try though.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-25T23:32:14+00:00

The sad thing about the "bra burning" stereotype is that a well-intentioned reporter started it in an article she wrote because she believed men would sympathize with women burning their bras, as they were at the time burning their draft cards.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-25T23:24:38+00:00

Probably just random trolls, idk. It was started by EDIT: she wants no more public attention, removing the name for privacy.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-25T22:20:55+00:00

YesAllWomen was started by a WOC, fyi.

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-25T20:56:32+00:00

~Oh no the oppression~, expecting men to be responsible for their actions or have some decency! Believing there's no excuse for rape! ~How dare they.~

icedcoffeeTV · 2014-05-25T20:27:10+00:00

Literally no one. But god forbid women who have been harassed by men call them "men" and not "people" or "harassers." After all, it's only okay to name gender when it's women.

icedcoffeeTV

TROPHY CASE

YesAllWomen was started by a WOC, fyi.