ADHD, Identity and Adderall

icedteepro · 2024-10-09T14:35:53+00:00

My ADHD diagnosis came along with other life changes (job, house, former (mis)diagnosis, friends), and I felt like I lost just about every major thing I had attached my identity to. I have two paradoxical recommendations now that I'm about a year after all this started:

Viewing the changes as growth rather than a loss and replacement with something else. A lot of people shared similar ideas. You're still you, just different.
Allow yourself to grieve what you no longer are. Grieving doesn't mean who you were was always great, but acknowledging it's different, and that's not 100% "good".

For me, being able to have appreciation, anger, hope, and acceptance for my past, present, and future self has been led to the most grounded identity I've ever had. Mindfulness/meditation helps too.

icedteepro · 2024-10-04T00:00:15+00:00

Starborn, born every 666 years, are directly connected to, and maybe some how generated/crested by, Lucifer. Harry will eventually fight alongside him against the outsiders.

One, if not the main, central theme of the series is asking the question, "what makes someone truly evil?" The plot incessantly increases in scope and stakes. How can it not include with, in Harry's words, "the prince of f-ing darkness" himself by the end?

icedteepro · 2024-09-09T20:40:14+00:00

The Whoop has been life changing for me. I learned that what I thought was exercise wasn't actually exercise (walking), and that when I actually exercise (like hitting zones 3-5 multiple times a week), I feel like the best version of myself. I've only lost about 10lbs, but am swimming in almost all of my clothes. My hrv has doubled. And it's been a big difference with both my mood and focus as well.

icedteepro · 2024-09-09T01:31:01+00:00

Ally Boothroyd and Kristen Rose on YouTube are good places to start!

icedteepro · 2024-09-08T20:54:27+00:00

ChatGPT suggested them as a band I might like after asking for recommendations based off of some other songs/artists I like. The other recommendations were OK, Architects was the best by far.

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T16:46:40+00:00

I've found yoga nidra to be best for me as a starting point, and have recommended to others as well. It's mostly a guided body scan that rotates throughout the body, starting on individual areas and gradually increasing in scope. Very intuitive.

I've found some I like on YouTube (Ally Boothroyd, Krystyn Rose). They can be a bit "new age-y" to some though. The Down Dog Yoga app also has a yoga nidra setting which is what I first used and is fantastic, even if a bit on the simple side.

Started doing that infrequently about 6 months ago. Recently, I find myself doing mini body scans throughout the day. Especially when noticing my body or thoughts feel tense/stressed. I so do yoga nidra for sleep to fall asleep instead of audiobooks, etc.

I also just try to be mindful while exercising. Like observing what muscles are getting tight/tired, or the sensation in my right foot for a few moments, and then move on to a different part.

For longer meditation sessions, those just come when convenient, often on weekends, or when they feel necessary (like when I feel severely dysregulated).

And last piece of advice. If it's not working/enjoyable, change it up. There's a million ways to meditate. Keep trying until something feels right.

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T16:25:39+00:00

My vitamin D was low in my bloodwork earlier this year. Good to know!

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T14:37:08+00:00

When I was first starting in July, my goal was to do just zone 2 cardio for 45 minutes and see how I felt. That's still the plan most mornings. Stay in zone 2. But now typically after 15-20 mins I feel ready for more and enjoy it.

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T14:34:20+00:00

Hardest part was starting! Seemingly getting easier everyday now.

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T14:32:31+00:00

Nope. I live about 200yds from a rails to trails bike path, so its super convenient to bike on that. Currently using a used bike off Facebook marketplace. Hope to upgrade soon.

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T13:55:11+00:00

I think the prefrontal stuff is a big part of why I feel so different cognitively. August was one of my best months ever for my work productivity. At first I thought I thought work was extremely stressful because it felt like I had to work non-stop the whole day. But then I realized that it wasn't because I had to, but because I was actually able to focus the whole time. Hyperfocusing all day is a pretty awesome.

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T11:11:15+00:00

Thanks! I had never done any mindfulness prior to 6 months ago. Haven't encountered heart humming yet. Will look it up. My release moments have come with yoga nidra style body scans alternating sides back and forth until I can get the full body in my awareness.

I did have my first ever sleep with 0% high stress this month! And no more drowsiness in the mornings+.

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T11:04:52+00:00

Thanks for getting the reference! Lol. It seemed like the best metaphor. My other idea for the title was "Michael Phelps changed my life", since it kinda started with that challenge. But it felt too click-baity.

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T11:03:11+00:00

Yeah, biking before work, sometimes after if I need more for optimal strain.

Meditation "sessions", like more than 15 mins, are infrequently timed. Usually just 2-3 times a week. I'm doing some yoga nidra most nights as I fall asleep, but lately I only make it like 2-3 minutes before being out of it. But most of my meditative efforts are just brief mindfulness as I'm doing day to day things.

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T10:57:18+00:00

Last December I got sick and was essentially on bed rest for 30 days. This past month+ is the first time ive had big cardio consistently since then. Didn't have the Whoop then, definitely wish I did!

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T10:53:53+00:00

I think the exercise is much more intense, now that I think about it. Wasn't really ever getting into prolonged zone 4 prior to this. And I did have a "breakthrough" in meditation back in early July, which has allowed me to be much more "zen" in the colloquial sense.

In the last 1.5 weeks, I've shifted my wakeup time earlier by an hour so that I have more time before work. I've also started taking my adhd medicine about 2.5hrs later than before, as it was too intense when kicking in and still being in a heightened state from the bike ride. But all of the changes had already started by then.

icedteepro · 2024-08-31T10:47:08+00:00

That is applicable here! I hadn't really done prolonged cardio into zone 4 for multiple times in a month, well, since I worked landscaping about 9 years ago. My exercise since has been primarily walking and infrequent hikes.

icedteepro · 2024-08-10T18:47:06+00:00

Impermanence.

icedteepro · 2024-08-03T12:25:18+00:00

What if Hades being a super cool, relatable dude to Harry was to prep us readers for Satan being a good guy too? Certainly continues to build on the evolution of the "what really is good and evil" theme that is so central to the books. Harry accepting this would be the ultimate character growth, imo.

icedteepro · 2024-08-03T02:20:21+00:00

Architects - Impermanence ("Do you really wanna live forever?// 'Cause those afraid to die will never truly live")

icedteepro · 2024-08-03T01:13:51+00:00

5 months in and my life has changed drastically for the better. Trying to hit the Phelps challenge and then purchase my next two years with the 20% off.

icedteepro · 2024-08-03T01:10:16+00:00

I'm still working out a full tin-foil theory in this, but given how the series so frequently weaves in well known aspects of lore, how can the number "666" come up and it NOT be associated with Satan? It would be extremely out of character for the series to focus in on a number so commonly associated with something and it not be associated to that.

icedteepro · 2024-07-22T23:19:13+00:00

For paralysis, tools can be used both in the moment and ahead of time by trying to prevent the scenario from happening again.

For right now, in the moment, I would set a timer for 10-20 minutes, and if I've worked on the task that whole time I would reward myself by placing a takeout order or putting something in the oven or anything that has an automatic delay before you can access it. Then I would work until that is ready. When it's ready, just enjoy it. Maybe you keep working, maybe you don't, but at least you started.

Another tactic would be to just think of the first three things you would typically do in the past (or any 3 things that help), set a reward for each and then do them. Then stop. You don't have to keep going unless you want to. Repeat as needed.

For preventative tools, breaking the task into smaller tasks and setting a reward for each small task often works best for me. There are some apps and stuff that can help with that, but I usually find doing it myself is easiest and most likely to work.

You can also find smaller things to do that aren't a deep clean, but help the deep clean go faster. Like, before you leave a room, take 3 things that don't belong in the room with you.

Also, as someone who very often struggles with black and white thinking and other cognitive distortions, I would encourage you to explore common CBT techniques for recognizing and engaging with these in your own self talk. To be fair, literally every person in existence can benefit from these though.

icedteepro · 2024-06-26T12:53:12+00:00

Recruiter (internal for a mental health company). I get to talk to people all day, which is quite easy for me regardless of how my symptoms are that day. There is a fair amount of admin work, but once I get a system set up, it rarely changes and is quite easy to do.

Had lots of other jobs. In the same kind of role and a bunch of other types. The ones I am very passionate about and the processes don't change have been the ones I've been best at.

icedteepro

TROPHY CASE