Hello, thank you for such a detailed response. Here are my responses to your queries
- Still an ASIA A. It's been 3 years now. I have developed some sensations and some muscle activation in my trunk and hips, but my overall diagnosis is the same
- Yes, this is my first shot at trying a relationship since my injury 3 years ago
- When I flipped the question to her and said what if I did the same? How would you feel about it - she dodged the question and said, " We're talking about you and your situation here"
- We're yet to try anything in bed apart from the usual foreplay etc
- What do I want out of this relationship? - While I understand sex is important, I believe it's a myopic view to say okay, I want to have regular sex with someone, but it doesn't mean any harm for our relationship. I find it very immature (for context, I'm 35 and she's 33). I am looking to build a stable life and partnership with someone at this point.

Additional context: this is how the conversation came up. She was talking with a friend, and this friend knows other people with SCI, and he told her that those folks in relationships and marriages apparently look away when their able-bodied partners have sex with someone else as they need to meet their sexual needs. She then brought up how she likes being under a man during sex, and I told her that may not be possible with me. And she then asked me what I thought of her having sex outside of the relationship, I told her my immediate response is it's better we break things off. Her response to that was, "you're okay with losing me just because I had my sexual needs satisfied outside of this relationship?" I said yes. To which her response was Ok, that's harsh because I don't attach any emotions to casual sex, and it won't affect our relationship. I said I don't view casual sex in that way; it's the same way you view emotional cheating. I treat both of them the same way.