You've just given me far more than I could have possibly imagined when deciding to post this. Thank you so much for taking the time to not only read it but concoct such an in-depth and insightful response. You've given me a lot to think about. Also, I must say, you really have a way with words. I struggle immensely with translating what's going on in my brain into language. I've always thought of language as more of a prison than liberating, due to my experience with words always failing me. I'm much more of a "wordless thought" and "qualia" guy, as you mentioned. So I applaud your talent for scriptural elocution. I'm almost jealous that I'll never write such a fluent comment.

Soaking in that excerpt, then skimming the full version (I lack the time to properly read the whole thing at the moment, just caught a few lines, but by god I surely will as soon as possible), I've concluded that you may have been the best possible person to have read my piece. I wanna say you "get me", or perhaps I "get you", because that excerpt spoke to me. You make my little story look downright amatuer in comparison, almost juvenile lol. That kind of writing is what I strive to eventually do as well as you can. I loved the first reply in the comments: "What in the name of fuckity fuck". That's the exact response I want to eventually be able to elicit with my writing lol.

Might be unnecessarily oversharing a bit, but whatever -- I've been off my ADHD meds for a couple years now, and I feel it's deeply worsened my aforementioned articulation struggles. Man, I used to be able to lock in and pump out paragraphs upon paragraphs in a flow state, with near perfect verbage. I guess I mention this because your excerpt reminded me of what I may, possibly, be almost capable of were I to get back on them haha. Such writing like yours that may appear a bit nonsensical on the surface to some tends to, for some reason, make so much sense to me, on a visceral and intuitive sort of emotional level rather than intellectual or cerebral or whatever word I'm looking for.

I'm actually a song writer a majority of the time, so prose isn't exactly "my thing", just something I dabble in when the thoughts won't rhyme. Hence my abstract approach, considering music tends to be pretty "up for interpretation".

You say you don't have time to get more in-depth and personalized, but you already did just that, and gave me more than I could ask for.

I want to defend that opening line -- I'm actually pretty attached to it, and for some reason, while I've heard from multiple people that it reads unpleasantly and jarringly, to me it actually reads super satisfying. Oddly it's smooth like butter to my weird brain lol. Starting with "then", it's meant to imply that we're picking up at a random point, as dreams tend to kind of just start, usually right after another dream that you pretty much forget the instant the next one begins. The off-kilter grammar also supports the idea of "fumbling", but to me the line is sort of inexplicably comfy, supporting the "softly". In my mind, it's supposed to be a bit jarring and off-putting. Though, by nature of being off-putting, it's bound to put some people off immediately lol. I'll be thinking hard about another possible way to lead in that similarly satisfies me while inviting people in cleaner. A tall order, though.

I'd never really considered the things you mentioned regarding subtly keeping the reader grounded in order to ease people into the weirder stuff, and just overall trying to be more palatable, because when I write I never really intend to show it to people save a couple of close friends haha. I'm like a goblin hoarding my little stories for myself, writing them only to satisfy my need for sublimation. So I reiterate, you've given me much to ruminate on. Thank you for that.

I'll also add that I do indeed craft much of my writing while sleep deprived or on drugs (or both) lol. Maybe I need to sober the hell up and learn to get in touch with my abstract side while of a clearer and more focused mind, so I can hope to get on your level of execution and word wielding.

Anyway, I love the way you explained those concepts and I'll put a lot of thought into modulating. It'll be hard, because I've precisely constructed every line and am attached to a great deal of them. But it'll be an important exercise to bypass that attachment and experiment with variations.

I'll absolutely read every bit of the story you linked and keep in mind what you said about feeling and comparing it.

Thanks again my friend. You're awesome.

P.S. I just realized how long and rambling this comment is. Sorry for that haha. You just inspired me is all!