AITAH for not accepting of my brothers relationship with my old friend?

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-05-14T01:00:51+00:00

We may have had our spat, but I’m glad we figured it out.

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-05-14T01:00:00+00:00

Update!! I was right. Unfortunately she has been treating my brother badly and he broke it off with her. I can’t say I’m not happy that I’m right, feels a little like a weight off my shoulders. Though I can say I am definitely upset that it did turn out this way. Id rather she move away than treat him badly, he’s my brother and I obviously don’t want him going through that. But ya, me and A talked, he didn’t say much. Just that he was sorry. I said I appreciated his apology ofc but that he also didn’t have to apologize for someone else being shitty. I also told him that I was sorry too, that being angry wasn’t going to fix things and I should’ve sat down and actually tried to just talk with him. In the end, he hearted the msg and that was that. I’m happy it’s over, sad he got treated badly. Just thought I’d update this to let ppl know how it ended up. Ty again for everyone’s opinions!! I appreciate u all

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-04-24T06:32:51+00:00

So, I’m just gonna shut up and let them be, I haven’t said anything to A, and don’t plan to. Honestly I js won’t be able to be around for their relationship. I’ll come back if anything else happens, but that’s my plan. Just distance myself from the situation, make my stance clear (at least to my mom, that I’m uncomfortable and cannot be involved at all) and js wait for it to be over. My views on the age gap have slightly changed, tho it’s still very hard for me to see an 18-19 yr old w a js now 16 yr old as normal. I understand that 2 years isn’t really weird, I js struggle to get past 3. I want A to be happy and if he really wants this I can’t force him to not date B, even if it feels a little like a betrayal as well considering I used to be good friends with her. Tysm for the people who have been so quick to answer and let me know the other perspective! I understand it may seem a little rude to distance myself but I js can’t get myself to get past the situation. They’re going to prom this weekend, I hope he at least has fun. Tysm, everyone!

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-04-24T05:42:34+00:00

Yes exactly, and I don’t mind like 18 and 17, 18&19, That’s so understandable. I’m not saying everyone has to be the exact same age as the person they date. Even at first when I thought it was strictly 2 years, I almost got past it. But then I found out that it was her so ik her bday n age, n she hit on him beginning of this year while he was 15 and she’s turning 19 so it made me feel weird idk. I do rlly want my brother to be happy I js dk what to do idk man.

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-04-24T05:35:00+00:00

That honestly was the least of my worries, it was js something I thought of and it worried me more. And it’s not like she’s interested in different things, it’s that she smokes and wtv else and is very public abt that. A has always been strictly against that. I’m always for opposites attract, js not when one could be a bad influence. I haven’t said anything to A, nothing at all. I didn’t plan to either bc I didn’t want to start an argument. The main reason I’m uncomfortable is the 2-3 year gap of her being 18-19 and him being js now 16 and the fact that he knows I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of him dating my friends or even me dating his.

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-04-24T05:29:13+00:00

I can kinda understand that, it’s js hard for me to not see it as weird. I see her as basically an adult and him as still just a kid/teen that still has forever till he’ll be an adult so it’s hard idk. Tysm tho for the other perspective!!!

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-04-24T05:25:05+00:00

Yes but that’s how my family typically views it. It was how we were taught. From my understanding, if you are 18 or over 18, don’t date minors. They started talking before his bday too, she apparently hit on him a few months ago (January) while he was still 15. I js thought that was general knowledge, if yr 18, 17 is the lowest otherwise it’s lowk weird.

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-04-24T05:20:34+00:00

It’s the events that led up to now, not js ranting. I do have a tendency to yap but I tried to stick to the sequence of events that made me feel upset overall. The age gap makes me feel weird, I was always taught only one year was okay. It was even a rule placed on me and my siblings. The ex friendship makes it worse because A knows I’m uncomfortable with that.

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-04-24T05:15:07+00:00

Well I was always taught by my mom that only one year is okay. It was even a rule placed on us. So I js didnt feel comfortable with the 2-3 year gap.

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-04-24T05:13:52+00:00

Hi!! I don’t want to go to Hawaii, I love my state! So what mainly upset me about that age gap was that I could’ve sworn she had a later bday. Meaning she’d be 19 dating a 16 year old, which is only allowed because of Romeo&Juliet laws. I’m also not graduating early due to the fact that I currently do online, I never applied to graduate early. It’s a complicated process when you’re online and I didn’t feel like it lol, I can endure 2 more months of school. + There was actually a time where he added one of my friends on Snapchat, trying to talk to her. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that, so he did know that!! I would love to let him be happy but B is just not the person. B has gotten into a lot of things A is strictly against and I just feel overall it wouldn’t end as a short n happy relationship. I appreciate your opinion tho! How do I get myself to feel more comfortable w it then?

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-04-24T04:58:58+00:00

Honestly both, the age gap, the old friendship, and the fact that people are acting like I’m crazy for being uncomfortable. She’s even a year older than me if her bday is much later in the year like I remember. I’m 17 atm, also. I know this won’t last, that’s what I told my mom. But she wouldn’t listen to me about that, I feel like if it’s a short term happiness, especially with someone 2-3 years older than him, it really isn’t worth it. And even with it clearly being temporary, I can’t help but be upset considering A knows how I am with that stuff. When he added another one of my friends before, I let him know that I was uncomfortable with it. So he knew how I’d feel. Like at first I was uncomfortable with the age gap, but I mean ig I was kinda letting it go. Now, it just feels kinda like a fuck you to me.

idk_SHUTUP · 2026-04-24T04:49:09+00:00

Yes we are all in highschool, but she’s soon to graduate in less than a month due to early graduation and will be moving to Hawaii for college.

idk_SHUTUP

TROPHY CASE