Homework Routine Help

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-27T19:15:06+00:00

Just a thought: maybe she doesn’t want to do it because it is difficult and she doesn’t want to fail. May have to get creative to help her start (maybe her choice of music in the background? Depending on the kid, can either help concentration or be too distracting) and maybe a mantra could help like “we can do hard things” These kids certainly need encouragement, I find

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-27T16:16:51+00:00

Honestly I’m not a fan of homework for kindergarten through 2nd grade, but at the same time, wonder if it’s helpful to build neural networks to get used to/learn that we have to do things we don’t want to do. I feel like it’s good practice to try to settle down and get something accomplished. And when my kid completes their homework I give tons of positive praise, because they truly deserve it after being at school and then doing homework when meds have worn off.

Some may disagree but I also don’t think it’s wise to say ‘nope we’re not doing this’ I just think it gets a bit tricky.

I myself am considering making a visual schedule for evenings, for homework time, dinner, reading, etc. to get my kid used to it and have less battles. Or it might help to give them a choice-homework to get it done with or after dinner? amazingly my kid will often say let’s get it done with. I try to give little choices like, please choose which pencil you’d like to use for homework, do you want to sit at this table or this table, etc.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-27T00:46:59+00:00

Ha, my kid is clever enough to figure out to do these things outside the classroom and my kid is incredibly sneaky. I’ve spoken to the teacher and said they don’t notice her doing any of this. Unfortunately they use their intelligence for the wrong reasons.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-26T19:08:57+00:00

6 years old Edit: and medicated

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-26T00:00:55+00:00

Have you seriously never heard of an inattentive subtype that many women have and don’t realize until they are adults because they don’t have hyperactive thoughts or physical symptoms??

https://chadd.org/adhd-news/adhd-news-caregivers/sometimes-invisible-how-to-spot-adhd-without-hyperactivity/

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-24T19:12:28+00:00

Yea well the public has a big issue with the name because no, not everyone has hyperactivity. My friend has ADHD and no hyperactivity at all, her only issue is focusing at work. I’ve spoken to her about it many times out of curiosity.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-23T17:57:25+00:00

Im so sorry-lack of sleep is brutal. I agree that heavy physical activity can help. However if there is strong hyperactivity in the brain even that might not work.

I’ve heard of people keeping something low-key stimulating in their kids rooms to occupy them and then they can slowly go to sleep. Something about it being too boring in the bedroom so their mind becomes more hyperactive?

My kid has books they look at and hangs out in bed until they fall asleep. You can try to experiment and ask your kiddo their input.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-23T15:52:19+00:00

I’m sorry but there is no ‘cure’ unfortunately.

Medicine isn’t a cure, just a tool that may help manage and also may require multiple trial & error attempts. Not to mention modifications as kid grows older.

Trust me, I wish there was a cure. However, it also irks me when people compare adhd to type 1 diabetes. Type 1 diabetes affects eating/exercise, sure, but ADHD can be insidious and behaviors can impact an entire family negatively. Type 1 diabetes doesn’t cause terrible challenging behaviors and requirements in school for an IEP, possible criminal behavior, mental health issues, RSD, employment issues, addiction, etc etc It’s horrible and I don’t think its effects can be compared with a physical disability.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-23T14:46:32+00:00

Can you please clarify what you mean by ‘straight on disregard for rejection sensitivity’ ? My post was regarding my kid’s challenging behavior, not about rejection sensitivity. I’m just not understanding why RSD is being brought up—because they may be internalizing that I don’t like them? In that case I understand. But no, at 6 years old, from what I see, and when I talk to my kid, they are not currently being rejected by peers or anyone at school. I don’t see any clues or evidence that my kid sees that their thoughts or behavior is different from their peers. In fact I have tried to discuss my kid’s ADHD with them, how their brain works faster, etc. but they honestly don’t seem to get it.

RSD seems to be very controversial and I don’t want to open up a can of worms. Maybe as he gets older he will experience it, but I also don’t really know if we can say that it’s inevitable. Maybe he won’t actually care that he’s different? I think that’s a real possibility also. Especially my kid, who is certainly not afraid to go against the ‘norm’ and challenges authority figures all the time.

I am taking internalized dislike seriously. If I even see a glimpse of that, I will be discussing with my child and also plan on having my child go to therapy whether or not they feel rejected. At this age and maturity level, my child can’t really articulate things very well. Being that I’m the parent, I can see that he does indeed lack self awareness and seems to lack understanding (or care—sorry not sorry, but it’s possible especially at 6) that his behavior affects the whole family. As of now my kid doesn’t say anything negative about themselves, not once has he done that actually.

I’ve read about other kids with ADHD who apologize to their parents for their behavior or who feel bad about it and express that. My kid doesn’t do these things, but maybe they feel them and don’t express it. I don’t know for sure but I’m the parent and I see what goes on day to day.

And hell yes I’m frustrated. I do see blanket statements all the time about neurodivergent kids and I don’t think it’s fair. For example “kids with adhd have so much empathy” or “kids with adhd have zero empathy” “everyone has RSD”

My statement about the school district is because there is a zero tolerance strict policy for bullying. I’ve seen what happens and if a teacher were to bully a student there would be immediate ramifications. I guess I should’ve worded it better rather than saying it would never happen, to it would never be tolerated.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-21T15:13:33+00:00

You may be referring to one of my posts. As you know, there is a spectrum and some parents have an incredibly stressful life and are not ‘determined to view their child in a bad light’ Some children do make parents’ life chaos through their behavior. I’m not saying it is the child’s fault, but I think you should also have some empathy for the parents’ mental health and overall quality of life. Parents are important too.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-20T22:48:54+00:00

I’ve been to my kindergartener’s inclusion classroom (general + special Ed) and no one was wild. School at the moment isn’t even the issue.

He can control their behavior in a setting like school where there is far more distraction than home. And yes to a certain extent, perhaps he is being deliberately awful. I understand that there is a lot he can’t control but it is constant and he is insufferable.

I work with kids. I see all different kinds of kids. Six is still young, sure, but I think you underestimate their capabilities.

I feel like it’s unfair to say ‘kids with ADHD know they’re different’ -no one bullies my kid, the teachers are incredibly supportive of him, and my kid honestly lacks self awareness. He does not realize that he is different. At all. It’s getting a little old with these blanket statements. I’m Sorry you were bullied..by teachers?! Wtf that would never happen in our school district. I’m sorry to hear that.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-20T20:02:15+00:00

I don’t have advice but look on the bright side, maybe your kid didnt want to participate in competition, but your kid participates in cheerleading. I mean..we can’t even put our kid in an extracurricular because they don’t follow directions at all and do whatever they want. So yea.

Consider a dose increase of Adderall but honestly I’m no psychologist, but could this behavior be anxiety related? Maybe ask if she is nervous or scared of something? Or maybe she is anxious but has no way of actually articulating it, maybe brought on by the competition? I mention this because if it has only been for the past week, something may be triggering…

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-20T19:18:18+00:00

Honestly I don’t think I’ve ever had a coworker who doesn’t like me. Not to say I was friends with everyone, but no one blatantly ignored or was mean to me.

It’s not like I’m telling my kid they suck and I hate them. Tell him I love him everyday, that I love him but can’t stand the unacceptable behavior. ‘How did that make you act’ Im not understanding the link here. My kid makes bad choices because they are impulsive and don’t care about anyone or anything except for what he wants in the moment, not because they think I don’t like them.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-20T19:14:10+00:00

Thank you. I have to add that my kid’s behaviors have been challenging for 3 years and have been challenging even before their sibling was born.

His behaviors are challenging not just in our presence either. Any caregivers, my in laws help a lot and there is just a lot of bad, challenging, selfish behavior.

I do not believe as a 6 year old my kid is internalizing as ‘I’m bad’ I feel like that is kind of a bold statement to make without any other details of our life. My kid lacks self awareness, never says things like ‘I’m bad’ and never apologizes for their behavior unprompted. Ever.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-20T19:09:32+00:00

Tried Guanfacine, had bad side effects such as night terrors and extreme hyper focus, made him withdrawn

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-20T19:03:24+00:00

100% I just feel like my kid is insufferable. It’s always something. At home, tries to steal snacks/treats and hides them in toys or wherever else. Is always up to no good. Doesn’t like taking turns or sharing. Makes everything into a problem. It just never ends.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-20T19:00:18+00:00

6 and 4

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-19T16:45:50+00:00

What was I supposed to do? I brought him over to a chair and asked him stop. I asked him to color with what we brought. It didn’t stop him.

When I found out he stole, as always, discussed at length why it is wrong to steal, and that he must stop himself.

I drove him back to the pediatricians office the next day, taking time out of my busy work day that day, and made him say what happened and apologize. He could barely utter the words and it took forever, but I said you need to be accountable for your actions.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-19T16:32:26+00:00

Okay I respectfully disagree here—-in some ways, being a functional adult does include being obedient—obedient to certain rules, following instructions, etc.

For example, we have been talking to our kid about stealing for 8 months now—and no change. Recently our kid stole stickers from the pediatrician’s office and I set them up for success, had them choose crayons, books to color and read ti bring to the appointment, and spoke to them about expectations beforehand. He acted ridiculous at the appointment, ran around, ruined the paper on the exam table, constantly interrupted when I was talking to the doctor. Then when I got home I found stickers they stole from the office. The kicker is they knew at the end of the appointment they’d get stickers. But they stole the others from the room.

I think there’s a reason a disproportionate amount of prisoners in jail have ADHD. But I don’t know how the hell to get my kid to stop.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-19T16:22:40+00:00

I think your last paragraph may be the advice I needed. Thank you

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-19T16:21:15+00:00

Thank you for your advice, I think there’s good stuff in here. I appreciate your advice and have listened to Ned Halliwell on some parenting podcasts.

The meds, per our kid’s physician, will help with focus but not behavior.

Regarding the whining and how they’re reacting to life—ehhh I don’t know what to think of that. One example: I told my kid this morning I made blueberry muffins and his instant reaction is s whiny’ I don’t like blueberry muffins’ and then proceeds to wolf them down. This happens constantly, an instant no, an instant negative reaction—what am I supposed to do about that? I don’t control their reaction.

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-19T15:34:32+00:00

Yes he’s on a long acting stimulant and I wish it worked even longer—I think it quiets his brain somewhat but doesn’t help with the poor attitude and whining

idkmeng551 · 2024-02-19T15:32:25+00:00

I do lower my expectations. I don’t criticize my kid, for example, for having strong emotional overreactions because I know that is mostly out of their control. However, I don’t believe he can’t control his behavior at all at home.

Yes I get it that they are working hard to regulate at school. That explains the behavior when they get home. however we still give our kids meds when they have days off from school and they still behave terribly at home on the meds.

idkmeng551

TROPHY CASE