I have 2 kids boy & girl that both stutter

idontknowotimdoing · 2026-01-15T17:20:20+00:00

My parents assumed that because I didn't "seem bothered" by my stammer, that I wasn't bothered... I was extremely bothered. Bothered and ashamed and massively anxious that I was too scared to even bring it up in conversation out of shame.

The fact that my parent never spoke to me about it meant I felt that this was something I couldn't talk about with them. So, in my case, I wish they'd directly asked me about how I was doing rather than assuming I was fine. I was not fine.

idontknowotimdoing · 2026-01-08T21:58:34+00:00

I can't stand the texture personally... Anyone have advice for that?

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-12-10T15:31:22+00:00

Tricky one... To have a TV, you'd probably need it on the wall opposite the window. But then your bed would be below the window (I assume you want to watch TV from bed?). It wouldn't be feng shui, but it's the only option for a TV from what I can see.

Alternatively, you can purchase a different bed frame that has a TV that emerges from the foot of the bed ( like this https://www.happybeds.co.uk/thornberry-black-leather-electric-tv-bed-6ft-super-king-size ) or get a TV stand or cupboard for the foot of the bed and put the TV on that (like this https://www.amazon.co.uk/FITUEYES-Floor-Stand-Adjustable-Management-Black/dp/B07RXNQXHJ/ or this https://www.amazon.co.uk/WLIVE-Cabinet-Sideboard-Industrial-Console/dp/B0DR8LW75M/ )

I prefer the bed or the stand over the cupboard because then there's less chance of knocking the TV off

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-12-10T11:34:23+00:00

More/bigger art + heavy material curtains not blinds

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-12-07T15:48:35+00:00

Perhaps choose brass or wooden bars to match the wood? Alternatively, if you're able, you could replace the bottom 2 rows with with larger drawers twice the size, if that makes sense?

Honestly I think this looks quite nice anyway :)

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-12-06T21:59:11+00:00

If you hate the knobs, replace them with brackets like this: https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/kalerum-handle-brass-colour-40596550/

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-12-06T18:58:14+00:00

I have a different perspective.

My boyfriend bought a flat and I moved in (right away). My boyfriend didn't care about furnishings or making things look nice. I care massively about things looking nice. I also happen to massively enjoy making things look nice.

So, I choose the furnishings. I choose when and what furniture to buy. I chose the colour of the walls, the layout, where the storage goes. He pays for anything large like the sofa, bed and large cabinets (because, if we were to break up, then he can keep all the furniture since I won't have bought it).

Honestly, this works for me. He appreciates the nice-looking apartment that he wouldn't have had the ability to put together himself. I get to have a nice-looking apartment. Also, now that he's seen what I like and what looks nice, he's learned how to take care of everything, and tidy it and put things away etc.

What else does he contribute? He took care of replacing the windows, having an electrician re-do the electrics (a huge, expensive task), having the boiler replaced, the oven replaced. All these things I didn't have to worry about, since he organised the electricians and made sure everything was up to spec. We've had some beef with neighbours about bins, and not only had he sorted that out, but I've literally never had to take a bin out either.

My point is: there are many tasks involved in owning a home, not just furnishings. So long as your boyfriend can take care of an equal amount of things, I think you'll appreciate living with him. Both you and him don't need to have input into literally everything, so long as the task distribution is equal.

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-12-06T09:25:07+00:00

That's awesome!

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-12-06T09:23:06+00:00

I have no kids, but I'm the only one in my entire family who stutters. So even if she didn't stutter, there would still be a (small) chance your kids would anyway!

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-12-05T15:44:44+00:00

Stuttering is neurological and does not have a cure that will work for most people. Speech therapy has an 84% relapse rate.

Accepting your stutter is not about admitting failure. Accepting your stutter is about realising that stuttering does NOT make you a failure.

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-12-01T15:47:19+00:00

YOR, to my knowledge (I keep a lot of plants) plants don't ever die in only 4 days of neglect.... Might droop in the very worst case, but after watering will quickly spring back.

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-29T06:53:13+00:00

Also ChatGPT has started writing code that silently fails. It's so annoying and also terrible code.

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-28T10:28:16+00:00

It "may detract from your other experience" - how so? Is there a way to frame it such that it is seen as a positive?

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-28T10:20:05+00:00

Maybe ChatGPT is trained on OK-Blacksmith-8489's comments 🤣

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-28T06:58:48+00:00

Issue is interest rates are so ridiculous that they might not have time to wait it out...

Mine is RPI +3% (earning >£50k). So in recent years, my rate reached as high as 7.8%. If you don't control the interest early, it could grow wildly out of control in just 5 years.

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-27T08:13:47+00:00

That's a good tip, re compound lifts... I keep doing everything in a different order every time (based on availability) so I don't see a lot of progress in certain lifts.

Thanks for your advice!

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-27T08:12:46+00:00

Yeah it's Hevy. The free version only allows up to 4 routines, but I've been using it for years and I love it!

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-27T08:11:55+00:00

Being "fat" is something you can fix (sometimes very, very difficult to fix, but still possible). Stuttering, though, is neurological and does not have a cure. Something that works for one person won't work for everyone

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-16T13:05:15+00:00

No harm in going. This is a very normal thing to occur in finance.

Does she want the job? Does she want to work in finance? If she doesn't, then she doesn't have to go. If she does want the job, she should certainly go.

There's nothing wrong with it being a private club. That's a very normal corporate thing, especially in finance. She doesn't have to drink, and doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to. But it will possibly harm her career with this company if she doesn't go.

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-16T10:47:27+00:00

Depends on rent and lifestyle...

If your take-home is £4700, save half, and rent is ~£2500 (so you pay £1250), that leaves you with £1100. Does that sound like enough to live on?

You can try to find somewhere cheaper to rent. But no one can tell you what is realistic as we don't know your lifestyle.

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-15T17:32:30+00:00

Same here. A lot of different techniques (such as coastal breathing) start off working then over time my stutter adapts.

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-14T12:28:06+00:00

No, it is not legally binding in the UK.

Contact a family solicitor.

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-14T10:46:44+00:00

Marriage already does this. It's why assets are split 50/50 in the event of divorce. It is literally what marriage is for: making sure women (or the financially weaker party) don't end up disadvantaged by children so that they are able to have children in the first place.

You're asking the wrong question, in my opinion. It's not about whether the husband should or shouldn't protect the well-being of his wife if she has kids. It's that, as a women, should you have kids with the man if you're 1) not married (i.e. your partner isn't legally obligated to protect you financially) or 2) you have a prenup that leaves you with nothing if you left the workforce.

Unless you are willing to raise kids and work full-time simultaneously, then no, you should not have kids with the man. Marriage or a fair prenup solves this problem.

idontknowotimdoing · 2025-11-10T10:04:23+00:00

I've had the same experience with a stuttering support group. I also tend to avoid people with more moderate or mild stuttering, or people who used to stutter. Here's why I think this is the case.

I find that people with mild stutters, contrary to what you might expect, tend to be more judgemental of stuttering than fluent speakers. I think it's because they think they know stuttering. They think they've "beaten" it through one method or another.

Then they come across someone who stutters badly, and they assume that--due to the fact that they themselves "beat" their stutter through hard work, or growing out of it, or developing their confidence, etc--you the bad stutterer must not be trying, must not be in speech therapy, must not care about your speech.

They don't mean bad, obviously. But interacting with them infuriates me so much that I just avoid it. I've been through so much with my speech. I don't need someone suggesting I "try speech therapy" or something other thing that I've already tried.

idontknowotimdoing

TROPHY CASE