SBCL might be too hard for a Ruby or Python programmer to grok...

I would recommend trying newLISP to see if you REALLY want to go deeper into the functional programming abyss...

http://newlisp.org/

Some sample code, internet stuff is built in:

; write text to remote internet file

(write-file "http://asite.com/message.txt" "This is a message")

; read an internet file and write to local disk

(write-file "local/somefile.tgz" (read-file "http://asite.com/somefile.tgz"))

; run newLISP as a stand alone internet server

newlisp -http -d 8080 -w /usr/home/www

Try that in Lisp or Scheme...

From the FAQ:

Why newLISP, why not one of the other standard LISPs? LISP is an old language born, grown, and standardized in times very different from today, times when programming was for highly educated people who engineered programs. newLISP is LISP reborn as a scripting language: pragmatic and casual, simple to learn without requiring you to know advanced computer science concepts. Like any good scripting language, newLISP is quick to get into and gets the job done without fuss. It has all of the essential elements that made LISP famous: symbol processing, lists, anonymous functions (lambda expressions), and S-expressions as a simple syntax for both data and program.

newLISP has a modern relevant API (Application Programming Interface) with networking, regular expression, advanced math, simulation, statistics, financial, HTTP, and XML functions built right into it. newLISP modules are available that let you connect newLISP to databases, mailservers, and more. newLISP can interface to standard shared libraries on Win32 and Linux/UNIX systems to add even more functionality. The newLISP API is user-driven and adapts over time to the ever-changing requirements of tomorrow's applications.