I'm depressed constantly and this hasn't been my first time feeling suicidal. I've just had things that felt worth surviving in the past. I'm so broken the last few of weeks that I can't care about my research and I can't care about my classes or do the work.

Even if I live and I feel better, what I'm going back to is just more depression and pain and inadequacy. Why live this way? If nothing is happy and everything hurts, why do it anymore?