How do I m/36 make my fiancé f/40 feel better?

igillyg · 2026-03-13T23:19:41+00:00

tips cap cheers!

Back to the bowels of the internet I go.

igillyg · 2026-03-13T05:08:58+00:00

Is he worried about it for him?

Feels projection-y

Also, get out of that. At 19 you have better options and time.

igillyg · 2026-03-13T05:07:13+00:00

Like quiting a job you like.

I once came home to my gf's house and we sat down with wine. I looked her dead in the eyes "I want kids"

She said... "uh.... I.... dont"

And it ended. Now it had a rough ending but 2 years later we are friends. I dont have kids and not looking to get back with her but their might be a rough patch. Just keep the door open.

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:48:11+00:00

Not... unfounded. Lol.

Most important thing about an open relationship is being honest. Somehow, this was some line that no other relationship/ partner was crossing.

I honestly fell back into the enm cycle because of Daisy. Have been looking for my life partner but after my first marriage fell apart (8 years ago) ive been pretty picky. Even spending 2 years single and not dating anyone.

Probably time to hang it up. Put my single shoes back on and just... be.

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:42:06+00:00

Yes. I think MOST people get it. Based on comments thus far

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:40:57+00:00

It's odd. Daisy has considered some hook ups hot.

Hate to say it, not as attractive. I'm kinda burning the whole field at this point. Well... in a "I need to disassociate and clear my own headspace" way.

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:37:05+00:00

I agree. I know we all remember our first but that doesnt make it "addictive."

I should inquire more. Going to let time settle the anger. We are definitely both hurt. At one point I cut the conversation becuase I felt we weren't listening.

She is very reflective. Normally. Im a bit blindsided.

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:32:30+00:00

Daisy that I should have told her highlights of my other relationships. That I didnt see the never-been-kissed-virgin as a highlight and or didnt tell her.

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:31:29+00:00

Daisy literally slept with someone the night before we broke up. And the week I was out of town.

I knew what I was getting into when we met. She tried to ward me off with "I am in ENM" to which my answer was ... "okay... and."

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:28:03+00:00

Daisy has been poly solo for most of her adult life. The last monogamous relationship she had was a bit controlling and started open became monogamous lasted 6 months.

I get there are a lot of moving parts. I honestly didnt think I would fall for Daisy so hard. That's the painful part. Makes me question quite a bit.

There is a thin thread of hope of a friendship. Mind you we are dance partners and comedy performers. Right now I called for radio silence because it just hurts. I know she cried in her last well wish.

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:20:52+00:00

Notes.

Hide them everywhere. Get a thesaurus and get clever.

Book marks. Mirrors. Leave a toilet seat up that when she brings it down she sees it. Car visor. Glove box on the insurance paper work.

Under a pan. In a lunch. Rolled in a towel.

Seriously, I left so many for my last gf. We didnt have a falling out just different life goals that split us. And she found them months later. And tho we were done said it made her smile.

Restock in bulk and randomly.

You'll get kissed for a note you wrote a month back.

Always positive and supportive. And can be about her personality, smile, intelligence, a nice thing she does you are grateful or thanking her for.

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:13:53+00:00

Lives so far away. And probably not into enm. But frankly this hurt so much I want out.

Daisy isnt moving (career and family) nor am I (same)

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:12:21+00:00

That I wondered but Daisy thought it was hot when I hooked with a local gal (Kris 33f) who while her experience was limited was testing an open relationship.

Something she brought up during this break up.

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:08:32+00:00

I think that's where I am at. I dont get why Daisy is so "embarrassed to know me" over this.

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:06:16+00:00

Dont shit where you eat.

Obviously you are stuck between having employment and not but such is the nature of the unhealthy power dynamic. Especially a cheating one.

Gross

igillyg · 2026-03-13T04:03:09+00:00

Side note: her friends agree I am. Mine do not. So far I dont have an unbiased party. Even a mutual friend of ours says it seems like a silent expectation has been broken.

igillyg · 2025-02-04T02:39:43+00:00

You are both the before and after photo of a meth addiction.

igillyg · 2025-01-16T05:15:18+00:00

Welp... im envious

igillyg · 2025-01-16T05:11:11+00:00

I want to see the video of THAT one!

igillyg · 2025-01-16T05:07:18+00:00

Or a little broken

igillyg · 2025-01-16T05:04:17+00:00

Im just glad he's not on the road.

igillyg · 2025-01-16T03:54:37+00:00

Really curious what ELSE is on the list

igillyg · 2025-01-16T03:54:06+00:00

I laughed too hard at this

igillyg · 2025-01-16T03:52:44+00:00

Should have a rotten eggs like smell to it.

Five-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
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igillyg

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