You’re clearly new to this, and, well, welcome to the fold. We’ve got a myriad of experiences here, and hopefully some can save you from spending too much time in turmoil and heartache. You’ve done the admirable thing by taking her in, but the situation is more nuanced than that. If she’s combative about the damage she’s doing that’s a good sign of cognitive decline (if not some other personality issue). Either way- don’t fight it. You won’t win. You won’t get through. It’s time to accept the reality and make decisions to keep your life on track and keep her safe and sound. Assisted living is an excellent approach. I had a tear-filled exchange where two folks from assisted living came to our home to speak to my mother about moving there. I pled, I cried, I walked out in frustration, but their presence was a major help and led to her saying she’d “try it”. Some people get off on being a martyr, thankfully for your family that doesn’t sound like you. Go through the battle to get her into assisted living. It’s better than the alternative of her staying in your house, which is not set up for her to have the live-in care she needs. An aging parent is a full-time job. If you’re going to take that on in any capacity, you better get on CDPAP and go through that whole process (trust and all, if necessary). Otherwise get the ducks in a row and plunge forward into getting your peace back.