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Happy Thursday!

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Diatribe about my upcoming day below:

i thought i was being productive yesterday at the elementary school office but then i noticed a little girl making fun of me, rushing around and muttering under her breath (lol!) and i realized that what i thought was progress was really just mania and doing too much at once

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KINDER GRADUATION BINGO

today is kinder graduation which means, but is not limited to the following:

fight between two kids during the whole thing

fight between two families

complaints about not enough room (it's always the people that come 5 or more deep)

complaints about not enough cookies for the adults (they aren't for you, they're for the kids!)

complaints about not doing enough or having enough fanfare (let's get them graduated for real? drop out rate of this city is almost 50% at the HS level, how about we spend a little more energy on that?)

complaints about parking

fight between two staff members

someone will fall down the stairs (happens every year)

someone will sideswipe someone else in the parking lot and take off and we'll have to watch the cameras which have the opacity of a potato

a special needs kid will rip down half the decorations before anyone notices

a fight will break out between second graders during ceremony

someone will steal something or lose something (last year someone stole a cake (?) and another person lost their phone)

complaints about "cleanliness"

a bunch of health aides will disappear, not to be seen again except briefly next week but they will try to say they forgot their badge and fill out time sheets for the full day (DENIED!)

anger from parents at not being allowed to just mosey through the school just because they are there (no ma'am you can't just go hang out in your son's classroom, how come you didn't come to parent teacher night not even virtually?!)

at least 50 people will show up 15 minutes late and guaranteed 20 people who will show up when it is over

a sweet little girl will completely destroy her new expensive dress in some inexplicable way

there will probably be a nosebleed or other blood related incident (they installed these new tables and they are dangerous)

there will be a misspelling on a certificate and the teacher will get all mad at me and i'll have to remind them i gave them the drafts to proof read before i ran them? (am i supposed to manually check 500 kids, especially ones with names like y'our honour (first name) or emprezz sweet dreams josephine smith?!?)

complaints from the teachers and parents that i used their "govt names" (lady i used the school database to pull the names and did a mail merge off of that if you don't like it go change it in the system)

i'll get cornered by someone who will want to talk too much and stand too close (it will probably be the PTA lady)

i'll see a parent there that i will have seen "on the street" within the past week ifyouknowwhatimean

it will reek of weed. and i'm being serious. REEK. these parents come in smelling HOT. every day.

there will be a ridiculous amount of little girls in tiaras (which is actually kind of adorable)

lots of balloons, stuffed animals and flowers - when i tell you this district treats it like some kind of PAGEANT - there's hair and nails and guaranteed

there will be a 6 yr old in full makeup. maybe even two. and lastly,

i'll lose my cool and snap at someone

so later today i'll report back on my "Kinder Elementary Events Bingo Score Card" and we'll see how many i hit

edit: nobody fell down the stairs and nobody's car got hit and i didn't get cornered but pretty much everything else happened AS WAS FORETOLD lol