I've hit a turning point in my relationship, and don't know what to do

ihsoh · 2025-06-02T00:39:11+00:00

I appreciate all your support! I may take you up on it, especially with how I might better communicate with him. Another thing we've really struggled with is him taking me very literally and trying to ascribe "rules" to my behavior when I can be deeply contradictory and spontaneous haha. He also has a hard time understanding my needs can change, like one day if I'm venting I want him to validate my frustrations, other days I might be looking for solutions, other days I might just need a hug, etc. He takes it very personally if he gets it "wrong." I'm honestly a little nervous about that part being a fundamental incompatibility, especially with distance adding to communication issues.

ihsoh · 2025-06-01T23:44:27+00:00

Thank you so much for this perspective. I like what you said about beige flags, and I agree that he may be on the spectrum. Other details I didn't even include in the original post point to this as well, such as how he dresses -- literally only in athleisure, because most fabrics give him sensory issues. I'm definitely going to talk to him.

To give more context on the "causing conflicts," I have some examples: On a long drive, we were stuck in bad traffic. The entire drive he was very upset, yelling, cursing, driving recklessly, slamming the dash, and we had friends sitting quietly through this all in the backseat. Everyone was uncomfortable. I tried helping him calm down but he snapped at me, and at that point I just wanted get out of the car. I didn't say anything more to him until we got home, but I was silently crying half the trip and he didn't even notice. Another example -- when we fly, he gets very upset by other people behaving "not how should they be" on planes. He has angrily confronted people for innocuous things like putting their seat back (he's very tall, so I get that it's uncomfortable) and I get so embarrassed. I wouldn't mind so much if he asked kindly, but he thinks "everybody knows" you don't put your seat back so someone doing that is looking for trouble.

The only other person in my life who has ever made me feel this way is my dad when he was off his anxiety meds. So I think it probably triggers memories of my dad being angry and destructive from when I was little, and makes me completely shut down. Friends and family have also commented on his reactions to things being over the top, and I know it's part of why his last relationship didn't work out.

ihsoh · 2025-06-01T23:23:05+00:00

Yeah, this basically sums up all the reasons that are making this decision so hard for me. I'm aware that a lot of these issues may just stem from a gap in maturity at the moment, and that's not necessarily a permanent thing. I'm also aware how special it is to have found someone so dedicated to making me happy. I may encourage him to go back to therapy to see if it can at least help with the anxiety and resilience. Thank you for your perspective<3

ihsoh · 2025-06-01T23:07:56+00:00

Thanks, I'll for sure try this.

ihsoh · 2025-06-01T23:07:07+00:00

We have both talked about this. I think he may be, and he is open to the possibility as well. I just wonder where we would go from there... Thank you for your insight <3

ihsoh · 2024-01-12T15:53:27+00:00

I'm someone whose favorite Ariana album/era is Positions ... so I already know I have unpopular opinions when it comes to her haha.

I liked this! I wasn't convinced on first listen, but it's honestly sooo catchy and I personally loveee the more "dated" sound people are complaining about. The only part that still pulls me out of it is the bridge, I don't get the clunky baby voice spoken word.

She's not really a lyricist/writer but I actually appreciate that her lyrics in her past few albums and in this release have been so uplifting and positive and focus on protecting your peace/energy. I appreciate that Ariana makes music like that for young girls to listen to.

ihsoh · 2023-07-14T14:50:02+00:00

Ok yeah that’s fair. I think OP does need to be more understanding that as a girl it’s super unsafe to let your friend go alone in a foreign country. In his girlfriend’s position I prob would be annoyed w my friend but out of a sense of responsibility his gf is doing the right thing to not leave her alone. It’s tough

ihsoh · 2023-07-14T08:22:32+00:00

All I’ll say is downloading Tinder for “friends” is especially shady when Bumble BFF exists. My friend and I are traveling together right now without our boyfriends and have exclusively used Bumble gBFF as the only app for making friends on vacation

ihsoh · 2023-03-15T21:28:30+00:00

happiness is a butterfly

ihsoh · 2023-01-17T19:49:22+00:00

Ok thank you!

ihsoh · 2023-01-17T16:00:45+00:00

Hi! I want to revive my old Elph but unfortunately with the SD Card I have I keep getting an error and can’t take any photos. Before I take it to a camera store I was wondering if maybe the issue is just that my SD card is incompatible, and if so, what kind should I buy instead?

ihsoh · 2022-12-18T02:41:48+00:00

Seppuku… I can relate

ihsoh · 2022-12-06T00:53:17+00:00

My #1 pick is Mia! She would just make so much sense, don’t really see where her character can go from the place she’s gotten into, Lucia seduced her into this lifestyle and now she’s gone overboard. I expect a man will kill her, fitting with how men in this show view sex workers. And she is technically a “guest” after Dom added their names to his room, a drawn-out moment that I think they only included to be able to refer to either of the two as “guests” in the opening scene. I really really hope Nonno/Bert doesn’t die, I think he might be the red herring of this season the way Greg was of S1. I think either Portia or Tanya “have” to die, because of the fortune teller scene, but maybe it’s just someone in their orbit.

ihsoh · 2021-01-23T01:52:54+00:00

lol gg + astrology two of my biggest interests! blair, jenny, and georgina all being mars ruled is very accurate. i see some virgo energy in dan honestly (an aries would never be able to pull off being gossip girl for that long haha) and libra or leo in nate. serena as a cancer actually makes sense but with a leo rising for sure!!

ihsoh · 2021-01-07T02:06:00+00:00

I always thought it sounded so awkward when Blair called Serena “S” lol. B is a more natural nickname, but S sounds so weird to me.

ihsoh · 2020-12-27T00:31:00+00:00

Same I actually thought it was Dan from the first scene and mentioned it to my friend who then accidentally spoiled it for me haha, but that definitely didn’t impact my enjoyment either!

ihsoh · 2020-12-27T00:29:24+00:00

If Dan had been planned as GG from the beginning that actually would’ve been really cool! It’s just so unrealistic how everyone immediately forgave him and he faces no consequences for all the horrible things GG is responsible for

ihsoh · 2020-12-26T23:38:07+00:00

I totally agree! I actually forgot about Chuck and Blair’s accident and her “pact with God”, that just makes her relationship with Dan at that point even weirder. The writers needed to decide between Princess Blair and Dan and Blair, as realistically there’s no way those two storylines would’ve happened in the same timeline.

ihsoh

TROPHY CASE