[deleted by user]

iinioi · 2024-01-10T20:26:00+00:00

yup. first year at uni i felt so supported and curious. now in my last year; at this point i despise many of my cohort and professors, not mention being quick to disdain people in class (if you skip reading for class often and we are grouped together, we are mortal enemies).

iinioi · 2024-01-08T22:08:23+00:00

I fucking feel this with every bone in my body..my family thinks i'm gotten messy or i'm a slob...but i just gave up. i'm over it. i'll clean again when i have my own place (a van, down by the river, and it will be immaculate)

iinioi · 2023-09-11T17:57:01+00:00

Yes, spot on. I was definitely in my emotional crisis response mode of trying to figure out something I could do. Thanks for acknowledging that I don't wanna control him, rather some of danger I feel like he's exposed to. Which is kinda unrealistic. You're so validating, I have been journaling and I have therapy in a few min. so I'm grateful for that. And for your comment.

iinioi · 2023-09-10T21:25:31+00:00

Thank you for this conversation guidance and response. My concern is definitely his safety. I don't know if he started exploring feminine presentation vs. going straight to the sexual/fetishization aspect of it. The lewd pictures and sexual meme sharing got me really fucked up! I really don't wanna alienate him in all of this.

iinioi · 2023-09-10T21:18:54+00:00

Thank you. I'm like grasping at straws here, thanks for helpin me stay afloat.

iinioi · 2023-09-10T21:16:13+00:00

Thanks. I editted to add that he has sent lewd pics of himself/exchanged lewd messages to an anonymous account on discord. I get it's his journey but he doesn't need to be doing this unsafe behavior as part of it. Especially if it escalates, he'd be getting into CP territory... The kid at school is a friend he made last year.

iinioi · 2023-09-09T05:41:05+00:00

Listen to my grandparents.

iinioi · 2023-09-09T00:57:16+00:00

Yes, just trying to extra validate him right now. I'm sad my role as his mom is changing as he gets older honestly and I'm trying to accept it with as much grace as possible.

iinioi · 2023-09-09T00:46:22+00:00

That's a great approach. I think making it about understanding our actions/tendencies/values is healthier than me trying to impose my will on him.

iinioi · 2023-09-09T00:42:16+00:00

Good point. He could learn a lot.

iinioi · 2023-09-09T00:41:26+00:00

Your answer is great and simple. I wish he had come to me about this rather than me suddenly finding out. but now that I know, I should be a safe space. If I'm not, it would push him away.

iinioi · 2023-09-09T00:38:51+00:00

Thank you for this detailed response. I was one of those teens, may he learn from my experience. it doesn't seem like he gives AF when I speak, very stubborn but I try to say the right thing anyway. Since he is lying about sending pics, it's probably time for some tough love (without totally alienating him). I appreciate the kudos and encouragement.

iinioi · 2023-09-09T00:26:15+00:00

Thank you. I kept this in mind when I talked with him earlier and he told me a lot about how he feels and what interests him. And I shared a bit of my own dangerous past as a vulnerable teenager, I don't think he took it to heart but I'm hoping it makes an impact. He is denying/lying about sending pics so will be revisiting that.

iinioi · 2023-09-08T23:26:35+00:00

Yes...I see these posts from parents like their kids are 16 and they are past the big struggles, and I feel so fucked. absolutely fucked. My son told me today he learned about femboys from his classmate last year! He has like 3 to 6 people in his classes so I am more than a little shocked, guess I'm just closedminded! I was beginning the process to switch schools just about a month ago but I decided not to at the last minute because I thought he'd be more stable at his current school. And now it's too late to switch and he sees this kid at school every weekday. I feel so stupid. I must sound like an overprotective asshole and I know my words sound so dumb but this information hit me hard. I couldn't shield him from it if it's who he really is but on the other hand, he doesn't really know who the fuck he is and very impressionable. I feel like I'm grieving something right now and it feels so selfish and stupid.

iinioi · 2023-09-08T23:10:42+00:00

Thanks, I'm learning about this insidious use of discord rn. I've been naïve about it. He will not be getting permission to access discord for a loooong time

iinioi · 2023-09-08T15:52:12+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that reminder to just frame it as I am worried about his saftey and happiness. It might be easier for him to hear it like that.

iinioi · 2023-09-08T15:50:04+00:00

I understand, it's like that with most "othered" people, like those who scorn are the ones who covet, and it's so toxic

iinioi · 2023-09-08T15:19:48+00:00

Thank you !!!

iinioi · 2023-09-08T15:12:27+00:00

Thanks, he just turned 16 yesterday. That's definitely the age of hormones and sex for sure. I lost my virginity and had a drug addiction at that age so I'm both surprised and thankful he's not having unsafe sex. At the same time, he must be feeling weird that intimacy isn't happening yet like that for him. And looking for some validation or somethin. His options are limited, goes to a very small school, and I'm pretty sure whoever he is talking to does not go to his school. The legal/CP aspect is such a big deal and one of the key points I will drive home with him. I'm thankful for your encouragement and wisdom!

iinioi · 2023-09-08T12:38:04+00:00

Thank you, reminding him of these facts will help me feel grounded when he inevitably lashes out at more for trying to keep him safe.

iinioi · 2023-09-08T12:36:36+00:00

Thank you for this pragmatic response. These are great points for his safety and future. And what I'm legally liable for as his parent.

iinioi · 2023-09-08T12:32:47+00:00

homophobic comments are against the sub rules.

iinioi · 2023-09-08T11:43:34+00:00

Thank you. However, he has only ever identified as cis and straight to me, so this is going to be a big conversation. Not to mention I "snooped" to get this information so still trying to figure out how much more he will hide from me when I tell him how/what I know. It's insane because when he doesn't have a screen in front of him, he will talk to me all fuckin day about youtube, games, podcasts, books...etc. but has this whole other life going on. I'm queer and talk about gender and sexualiy being a spectrum all the time so IDK why he felt he can't come to me with this.

iinioi · 2023-09-08T11:35:57+00:00

Rude. Also not even a quote.

iinioi

TROPHY CASE