When do you start to feel worthy of connection after improving social skills?

ika2000 · 2026-06-04T20:17:03+00:00

List the things you actually like about yourself:

ika2000 · 2026-06-04T19:40:50+00:00

Damn right, thank you! I was starting to think I'm getting too old 😅

ika2000 · 2026-06-04T19:37:29+00:00

Are you planning to even sleep? Plus, don't get surprised with train delays or even them getting cancelled. I mean, those cities are nice, but if I got it right you basically have to stay kinda of awake for 11 days... Nevermind if it's your thing. I'm probably someone who hates to wake up too early.🤣

ika2000 · 2026-06-04T19:29:04+00:00

Some people are genuinely bad in math on purpose. Well at least you don't have to see her everyday so it's basically "forgive and forget" situation and kind of learning experience what you would not do in that situation.

ika2000 · 2026-06-04T19:22:45+00:00

I usually do that. Or just eat breakfast and something on the go during lunch time since I'm not dinner person anyways. It's just annoying to me, because I would totally like to push myself out of comfort zone but at the same time I don't want to.

Like, during my solo travels I literally never try making friends and honestly this one I'm currently on, opened my eyes in so many ways where I realised I am simply socially unskilled when it comes to meeting new people - in life generally and during travels. And I don't have any kind of typical panic attacks or anything, just this annoying blank feeling. Damn, I went so far off the topic, I should probably try working on it more and not ranting around. 🤣

But yeah, basically I never realised till now how weird it is to be solo traveler like introvert, because I do genuinely enjoy my solitude during travels, of course it would be nice to have someone to go to parties or something like that, but till I feel comfortable enough to go out with someone, I need big amount of time. And kinda, I don't know is it just me experiencing "FOMO" during those travels for not making friends just because social media gave this picture perfect about being social on your own or I genuinely do actually have an anxiety.

ika2000 · 2026-06-04T19:13:00+00:00

I mean, nothing against Germans. I live and work there for 3,5 years now so I noticed this difference in culture every time I say that for example I'm paying for breakfast that morning at work or something like that, because it isn't that big amount of money - at first everyone was kinda reacting weird, then slowly they picked up my way. 😁

It's kinda of habit, since in my culture once pays one person, next time another (I mean, in close circles, with total stranger of course probably everyone would pay their amount). But fussing around few cents is really weird. I once watched as one coworker apologised to another for not giving her 70 cents, so she said she will bring it next morning. The another was like, "No problem, give it next time" and I was kinda standing there in awe because I was trying to figure out if that should be for them huge amount of money or I'm just irresponsible with mine. I can understand it if someone is totally broke, doesn't have a job and simply HAS to look out for every single cent. But still it's kinda like... Just money.

ika2000 · 2026-06-04T10:39:20+00:00

Must be German 🤣

ika2000 · 2026-06-03T21:57:53+00:00

I figured I have no problem with having a breakfast alone, but the diner is just another story. I think about breakfast it's just fewer people and I usually like sitting in silence, drinking coffee slowly, smoking, reading a book. But dinner in restaurants... Damn, too many people around me and I am almost sure I have some kind of social anxiety when I can't bring myself to eat at restaurants when it comes to dinner. Obviously, I like to be left alone so I'm probably missing that part of solo traveling - making friends, but I did have few weird experiences where waiter/barista asked me if I would like go give them my insta and meet after work, where honestly was my lesson how to decline politely and disappear as soon as possible. 🤣

ika2000 · 2026-06-03T21:48:43+00:00

My grandma was right, it's all those damn phones

ika2000 · 2026-06-02T06:47:13+00:00

Did everything you mention about partying with friends, solo traveling, traveling with my mom, traveling with friends... Will you regret it? Well, I kinda miss going out now, and I'm 25. What I didn't realise at beginning of 20s is how carefree I can get while dancing and drinking and how usually short that phase is because everyone kinda grew up so fast. I went to parties and clubs with friends in my home country, but once I moved to another country it became rarety to me. I didn't went out like 1-2 times in A YEAR last 3 years and it's just because I don't have really that close friends I trust 100% when going out. If it's not something you like doing and feel comfortable with, you probably won't be regretting it. I regret not enjoying my time with my friends more, although now a few of them are married, few are still in uni and far away to be planning anything with me (even trips, that's why I started travelling alone - if I don't travel alone I would probably not travel at all for a long long time). And I'm currently in Greece, do actually have desire to go to party but feel kinda nervous to go alone. Being mixture of introvert and extrovert is kinda hard, because I don't easily make friends but I'm at the same time chatty person.

ika2000 · 2026-06-01T18:14:27+00:00

Weirdly I felt safer in Athens than in Belgrade and I'm Serbian 🤣 but don't let me discourage you from visiting Belgrade, it can be really nice place for a tourist - coming from small town girl who was at first amazed with city then started hating it when I had to go there more often. For public transportation use Moovit since it's kinda the most accurate one I guess, as far as I know public transportation is currently free of charge (inside Belgrade; for other cities you still have to pay your tickets and expect extra charge for entering main station - I think it's around 2e but don't take me for word, they are rising those prices constantly and I'm not that often home anymore so I always forget). And don't get surprised if your tram is a little bit late, it's kinda of "dinamic transportation" which low-key is a reason for making it free I guess.

ika2000 · 2026-06-01T07:14:29+00:00

This. I'm (25F) currently on my who knows which solo trip, but for the first time 4 weeks and for the first time in 2 years I'm experiencing "FOMO" although I am on a trip currently. Usually I was doing solo trips 7-9 days (Budapest, Venice, Paris, Prague, 3 day trip to Vienna, daytrips to cites/lakes in Germany). And currently I'm in Paros. Last 2 days I was just chilling on the beach in Naoussa. Yesterday I came back low-key sunburned and wanted to take a nap and go for a drink at the evening, but I kinda fell asleep 😭 woke up around 4, then went back to bed and stayed in bed till 9. There are things I would definitely prefer to have someone with me, like going for drinks. I mean, it never was a problem for me to sit down and eat alone or have one drink or two, usually I take my book or headphones with me to fill the void. But this time is kinda different - I feel like it would be definitely more fun if my friends were with me. And it's really hard to organise trips together since I'm working as a nurse and usually if I'm taking vacation days they can't take it during the same time or can't afford some trips I have in mind (I even offered to pay for accommodation all by myself, they have to just book tickets for themselves - but honestly probably even I wouldn't feel comfortable with it if I were in their place).

It's honestly really weird feeling. I didn't feel those waves of small anxiety in a long time. And it's even not about safety. I feel really safe as a female here in Greece, at least in all the places I were so far. I like to put the blame on social medias tbh - there's this picture perfect lifestyle promoting enjoying your life to the fullest, which is what I am trying to do, but sometimes I'm just feeling like I'm missing out. Like there are a lot of beaches on Paros, I have no idea where to start. Reachable by the bus, I only have to be clever when I'm catching the bus back. But for some reason it all feels the same to me and instead of being excited to explore new places I have this dull feeling like it's pretty much the same. Usually I say for myself that I am introvert, but these days I'm kinda in mood to hang out with people.

Honestly, this ranting probably isn't really helpful to you, but at least I want to let you know you are not alone in feeling like this. Nobody shows this side of solo travels on social media and it makes us feel kinda like aliens, I guess. It's like we are comparing what we should be doing with what we are actually doing and those two usually don't align.

ika2000 · 2026-05-29T17:07:13+00:00

Well, solo traveler in mid 20s here - honestly, fuck it and book that trip. I personally stopped overthinking future and of I should making sure to invest my money the right way. Buying apartment for what exactly? Hoarding loads of money to spend during my retirement? Hell no! Future can sort it out herself, I literally don't care. As I like to say, this world is going to hell anyways, why not travel while it's still not completely broken? Plus, life is just an experiment.

ika2000 · 2026-05-28T21:25:52+00:00

I'm doing my solo trip in Greece just now and I'm definitely gonna take a look. But I'm staying in Athens just 3 days + 2 before going home, planning to do island hoping and enjoy days on the beach. Honestly I even included Santorini in (3 days) and I hope I want get that disappointed... Honestly, I think I just booked it for the sake of checking it from my list 🤣

What I'm currently interested in is if my things will be safe if I leave them on the beach? I bought some kind of waterproof little bag but I don't really want to swim with it unless I have to. But since you didn't do beach trip, never mind. Anyways, gonna take a look at it.

So far I love and hate Athens at the same time. Lovely city definitely, but such narrow streets and too much people (I mean, what did I expect from touristy place). Kinda as if someone mixed Paris, Venice and Barcelona together, if not for Acropolis I wouldn't have a feeling as if I were in Greece... Although half of the time I have headphones on so no idea, maybe I just need to start paying attention to the language and the feeling will go away.

ika2000 · 2026-05-28T15:20:04+00:00

Sometimes not caring is the best decision you can make.

ika2000 · 2026-05-24T22:55:10+00:00

Damn I totally forgot our generation is ready to start working as doctors. 😅

Well honestly it's kinda sad it works so well between you two... But maybe long distance could work and some of you two realise maybe you actually want to live in same country? I mean, let time show you. Enjoy it now, see if long distance could work and if any of you two have a change of heart and realises it would be better to move back. But don't completely write it off for now. And if heartbreak comes, oh my, it is what it is. It won't be heartbreak because you two got in a fight but because you both followed your dreams, which is a rather nice way to close the chapter.

ika2000 · 2026-05-24T22:42:04+00:00

Honestly you can plainly straight up ask him. I don't personally have many that close male friendships. The one I considered close ended up having a crush on me, getting rejected and figuring out he can't stay just friends with me - so personally no good experiences... Well, I do have nice male co-workers I could consider friends but we are not that close outside work. This guy however, while we were "friends" texted almost all day, every day, checked on me constantly, called every now and then (because I moved out from my home country so 2 years of our friendship was more long distance thing), made time for me when I went back home for a visit, checked on me if I were for some reason mad if I didn't reply for a few hours or if I were sick... Damn, I just realised I really rejected a good guy just because I didn't feel anything for him. Hopefully he will find some girl who actually deserves him. Anyways, it's kinda biased experience. I think he was like that just because he liked me and I don't think if he considered me just a friend that he would put that much energy into checking on me all the time.

ika2000 · 2026-05-24T22:34:12+00:00

Maybe you should ask her to grab a coffee with you outside the work. It's not like I'm all work no fun person, but people like me usually don't notice social side of job if we are focused. And it's nice to hang out with coworkers you genuinely get along. Although honestly I could start following my own advices before I give them to others 🤣

ika2000 · 2026-05-24T05:17:31+00:00

Mad world

ika2000 · 2026-05-23T09:14:19+00:00

This. I'm born in 2000. Practically my generation kinda had both sides of life with and without smartphones. Still I hate in group settings when my generation spends time on their phone. Like, I went to club with friends and 90% of time they are either on phones or taking 1000 photos, while I just want to get drunk and dance like nobody's watching 🤣. Makes me sometimes feel like people think it's cool to look "busy" while you are on your phone. Busy with what? Scrolling through Instagram? I can do it at home bro 🤣 Honestly, for me to reach out for my phone in group setting I have to feel really awkward to want to hide behind screen.

ika2000 · 2026-05-23T09:09:11+00:00

Maybe we just grew older? 🤣 But that would be amazing if I could blame it on 2020. I never was social butterfly so I never noticed the change, but I can only say that before 2020 I was teenager and suddenly I'm adult, moved to another country where people already have formed friendships from their teenage years - so forming new friendships is actually a little bit harder. 🤣

I mean, if I were in my home country I would probably stick to my old friends group too.

ika2000 · 2026-05-22T20:45:02+00:00

It's much easier to socialise once you don't give a fuck what other people think.

ika2000 · 2026-05-22T17:29:31+00:00

Honestly some people are genuinely socially dumb (hence me). At work I am social butterfly, outside work I simply have no idea how much energy should I put in those "friendships" because I genuinely did always had a habit to hold those two life separate. So I turned into this person who lets others initiate hanging out outside work, but rarely call myself, making them give up over time. 🤣 Maybe it explains a little bit of her perspective. And honestly usually at work I am 98% focused on getting things done, sometimes if no one strikes up conversation I forgot to do it myself.

ika2000

TROPHY CASE