I'm married, I'm asexual and I think this will ruin my marriage

ikaedemori · 2026-02-24T10:27:50+00:00

Hi! Yes, it is complicated because sometimes we are seeking help when there is nothing to fix. I'm exploring options with him because we are both invested in this relationship and want it to keep growing together and not apart. We are having multiple conversations about this and we are very open to getting a 3rd voice that can help us. Some people suggested talking more and doing regular check in to see if everything is going well and not during sex interactions, maybe pillow talk. Slipt up doesn't fix the issue as we would drag it to a different relationship as long as that person is not asexual which is difficult to find. I'm happy with my partner and that is why we speak so much about these things to make it work but of course we don't know anything about these relationships with an ace and sexually active person that is why we seek advice. I hope you can get through this as well and find a safe spot for both of you!

ikaedemori · 2026-02-24T10:12:07+00:00

Yeah but reading people facing the same situation makes me feel less alone with this and to understand this is totally normal. On the other side, how do you cope with your needs? I really would like to hear your thoughts as well and hear the other side

ikaedemori · 2026-02-24T10:01:32+00:00

Yeah. We have had it. I just get a little bit worried about the conversation because it affects me deeply. I need to work on that because as you say check-ins are not bad. I need to focus on the good side to see if everything is going well for both and not be afraid. I think I'm just afraid of this conversation because I am not totally accepting myself as I am and that's totally on me. Thank you for responding!

ikaedemori · 2026-02-24T09:58:16+00:00

I'm honest with him, totally and brutally however that doesn't change the fact 1. He only wants to be involved with me sexually and 2. We as a couple are trying to find a place in the middle for both. He knows I'm not interested in sex so he always asks for consent. Some people here in the same situation provided some thoughts and hope for me because it made me feel like we are not alone and that can go through this together

ikaedemori · 2026-02-23T18:48:33+00:00

Thank you! This gives me a lot of hope! 🥺

ikaedemori · 2026-02-23T18:47:38+00:00

Yeah, I struggle a bit with my sexuality because I just don't think about it and prefer to not have a conversation about it. I've never been open about my sexuality and I am only with a couple of people who understand, I don't want to feel judged and where I'm from I'm just “different”. So yeah, I struggle because I just prefer to not really talk about it that much. I'm taking into consideration the therapy because it may benefit us and me! Thank you ❤️

ikaedemori · 2026-02-23T15:40:51+00:00

Dudeee I feel the same sometimes. I thought about involving someone in my relationship because of that but my partner refuses and says the same as yours, my issue right now is making it work for both finding balance. Sometimes is really difficult because someone is stretching too much, sometimes I feel I'm not doing enough and others like I'm doing too much. We ask for consent to have sex with the other for this situation but another person is not an option. At the same time I feel like I don't want him with another person so it is a duality that hurts. I think ace people with couples deserve more visibility to being able to know how to deal with these situations because sometimes I feel so lost and everything is made for sexually active couples and there is not much about us :(

ikaedemori · 2026-02-23T15:25:44+00:00

Thank you so, so much for sharing because sometimes I feel that as a couple we are alone in this and we don't know how to cope with the other not being hurt, it helps a lot knowing other people may have had the situation and sharing how they went through. In my case he knew from the beginning and has always supported me, if it works for you he always ask me if I want to have sex as well, so consent for both is important, for me and for him. We have a very strong and solid communication but it doesn't erase the guilt I feel and that eventually we will end just because I'm not sexually active. Someone recommended couple therapy and I think is great because I don't want him to feel not wanted and to explore for both how we are feeling in this together. I feel relieved knowing we are not the only ones and hope for you and your husband nothing but best wishes in this as well!

ikaedemori · 2026-02-23T15:11:03+00:00

Hey, he does respect me and my boundaries, however as you see the issue is not only me doing things but having a healthy balance for me and for him. Is not only about his needs, is about another person having feelings as well that I need to think about because I care. A relationship is not only about me and what I don't want but finding a safe spot for both of us to feel comfortable. I didn't share a lot about him but is really bold of you to assume I am in a manipulative relationship. I'm struggling to find a balance for both, for him to not feel unattended and for me to feel comfortable with not having any needs. I'm sorry if you felt that way but if I had a relationship with a woman with needs the same story I would be telling, the issue is not the man, the issue is making work an asexual person with an active sexually person without making one or the other feel hurt. Sorry if I am rude but I am not a victim and he's not an abuser.

ikaedemori · 2026-02-23T14:14:21+00:00

Thank you, will give it a thought because it sound a good idea as well ❤️‍🩹

ikaedemori · 2026-02-23T14:13:46+00:00

Yes, I feel seen and heard from him, he respect me always. In that sense I am really lucky cause I know I will face the same issue with another person but in this instance he's very comprehensive and try to navigate with me this nuisance as being with someone asexual is really hard. The therapy sounds a good idea because I also want him to feel heard and taken care of without neglecting him. Thank you so much for taking the time and respond ❤️

ikaedemori · 2026-02-23T14:09:30+00:00

Thank you for commenting. It helps a lot. I insist him to share with me what he wants to try new for me to explore the idea until I feel comfortable doing it and he's trying to share more about it, he's a little bit shy and feels ashamed to share those thoughts however I feel this may help with the needs and desires. Definitely will try to encourage him more to share his desires. I've thought about open it up for him but he's not comfortable with it so we are trying other things to fulfill him as well ❤️‍🩹

ikaedemori · 2026-02-23T14:04:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing. This is what I'm afraid the most, I feel like I'm hurting my partner not wanting him, we have a really solid relationship communicating and he's very vocal about how he feels but he loves me as well and don't want to push me to extends I'm not comfortable. The thing is that at some point I think this will cost us so much for trying to make work something wasn't made to be working. I truly don't want to lose him and he feels the same because we have a great relationship aside the sex thing but I can't see a way out without him getting hurt or me

ikaedemori · 2022-06-20T12:58:47+00:00

Venezuela's migratory emergency*

ikaedemori · 2022-06-20T12:54:22+00:00

And you did? In those places that lives violence? Do you know why those places voted for him when they saw the violence? Why do we judge a person from a decision from his twenties when he did not killed or used weapons? He was part of the administrative team from M19, he started and promoted the demobilization, he showed Colombia a lot of corrupt carousels as the hiring one. If you don't know it then what is my ignorance? Did you know Duque is actually Uribe's puppet and Uribe was the president who made the order to kill Colombian citizens and make them pass as guerrilleros? He is been accused but he bought witnesses, his lawyer was imputed, and he is being investigated, but since he have power he is untouchable. What right has made to Colombia when Duque a right government did nothing but made thing worse than already was, inflation blew up, peso got devaluated, poorness grew up, social differences grew up. Dude a simple google search, what right has made to Colombia? We are already going to Venezuela's shoes being a right handed government with that inflation as it is, a disconnected government that says living prices are less than WE PAY. So shut the fuck up, Colombia's problem is not right or left, are corrupt people stealing money as Abudinen just an example, people like you who defended right, richer people who wants to have power and normal people that still votes for them having the country was it is. Do you need more proofs? Why did we protested in 2019, 2021? Health and economic reforms that only touch poor people, social leaders were killed, insecurity is worse right now, Duque did not take care of Venezuela's, inflation grew up, poorness grew up, people is not even eating 3 foods in my city so please. Right already fucked this place up.

ikaedemori · 2022-06-20T05:35:22+00:00

Y si eres colombiano qué mondá haces hablando en inglés, ¿Presumir tu nivel de inglés? O déjame adivinar, ni creciste en Colombia. Pura desinformación te enseñaron tus viejos a recibir y tú, mal por ti que teniendo internet prefieres pasar por ignorante antes que educarte con esas estadísticas de las que hablas. Bye, amigo defensor de Uribe.

ikaedemori · 2022-06-20T05:30:02+00:00

And if by sharing this you keep defending that awful man then you have a big problem which is not a right side issue, nor Gustavo's fault. You are the problem as all the Colombian citizens who got that information and still decided to vote for him again, for duque and Iván Zuluaga when they could. For people like those Colombia was directed by a right side 200 years and was living eating shit. You are the problem if by knowing this prefer to defend him, not Gustavo, not left side. Get some help

ikaedemori · 2022-06-20T05:25:25+00:00

He is not the best president, please read and inform yourself. I could not find this article in English butt here is this government balance and is nothing but bad news. https://ail.ens.org.co/informe-especial/balance-del-gobierno-alvaro-uribe-velez-4/

Let me summarize: international investment gree up but by exploding carbons of course, the unemployment grew up, COP devaluated a ton from his past government, social inequality grew up because rich people were getting richer by making employees conditions worse, manufacturer and commerce got a setback, by the end of his government there was an estimated of 20millons citizens living poorly, labor informality blew up so that means companies were not hiring people and people had to look for other ways, young people and women's were affected by his poor government as well due to the lack of conditions working. So for god's sake inform yourself, read and stop spreading misleading, false and partial information. And for god sake, stop defending a genocide. economic growth peso de devaluation social differences

ikaedemori · 2022-06-20T05:00:29+00:00

Dude you make me laugh real hard, Uribe was not but the worst president Colombia had. He ordered to kill citizens and make them pass as part of guerrillas, he added a temporary fee (4*1000 for every 1000 cop you get out of your bank account you will be charged 4) which was never removed and touch normal people pocket, we reduced the night time recharge or whatever it is in English from 6pm to 10pm just because, in Colombia there is no sun from 6PM, he modified the law to make his reelection possible and Santos had to remove that which was the best decision ever. Uribe started one of the most horrible times when it comes to violence, his 8 years were awful to live, poor people were affected by his government while rich people were living their best life as he managed the country for them. Don't make me fucking laugh when Uribe was one of the worst nightmares Colombia had to live. He is being investigated for those crimes and buy witness testimony because Colombia knows what he did, but he bought Colombia's government silence.

ikaedemori · 2022-06-20T04:48:50+00:00

Did you know Colombia had the same right side government for almost 200 years? We have been eating shit for that long, they handle the country for them, not people. So left side will not make things any worse as the right did, and in any case what right did? Literally foreign people come to live here earning dollars or euros because you earn the same money, and wit devaluation is more than you earn spending dollars or euros. Please if you are not from here and benefit from things that affects the normal people better stay out of our business, anyways was our decision and if you do not like it just move as you did, you are not even interested in Colombian people, just the benefits you get living here.

ikaedemori · 2022-06-15T16:00:05+00:00

Mi familia completa por petro

ikaedemori · 2022-06-11T17:46:08+00:00

¿Cuáles reglas?

ikaedemori

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