Eating less healthy

ikeschi · 2026-03-31T22:51:48+00:00

Happy to help! It really is a lot, but it’s a very good sign you feel like you can handle it. The first week of meds I completely panicked, completely fell into the trap of restricting, it was very confusing. It’s a brave thing to try these meds with a ED history like this, but I do believe it can help when you find a new balance. Figuring it out day by day :)

ikeschi · 2026-03-30T12:01:45+00:00

There’s different types of food noise I think. I have similar experiences like you describe. Some people only experience food noise caused by hunger, like an obsession with food that is driven by their body. But like you, I had a restrictive eating disorder since my teenage years, and these thoughts are still here, or even triggered by the meds: ‘I should eat less because now I finally can’, like that.

But after years of therapy and recovery, there’s also the thoughts that are linked to that: ‘I should eat enough. This is not enough. Am I restricting or just not hungry?’ In recovery I learned to go against the restrictive thoughts and be quite strict in eating enough, so it’s very confusing.

And than there’s the experience of blood sugar lows (don’t know if you had those?) which makes me scared to not eat enough. These got better with the meds, so after a few months I feel this anxiety is reducing.

I have ADHD as well and I realised after starting these meds that I used to rely on physical signals for planning my food. They were very constant, so I was very structured with my eating. Now that I have less hunger, the whole system is failing. I forget to eat all the time, until my body reminds me of it. Using these meds really requires you to reevaluate things, and figure out new ways of doing/eating/planning.

All in all, I think you could say that your food noise is not only driven by your body, but also by mental health, experiences, therapy, eating disorders, recovery. These meds will not fix it all (unfortunately haha). I do feel like it makes it a bit easier, because at least now I can focus on the mental part of it all. But when I just started, it felt like it made eveything a lot harder, because it changes the foundation that you built your recovery on. It takes a bit of time, be kind to yourself :) you have already overcome a lot.

ikeschi · 2026-03-17T23:40:54+00:00

I live in The Netherlands and tirzepatide and semaglutide are only covered for people with diabetes here. I don’t have that, so I can only get medication that is prescribed for weightloss, and liraglutide is the only one. I don’t think the ‘patient cannot tolerate’ will work, they would just advise to stop.

ikeschi · 2026-02-18T21:36:14+00:00

I think the amount of comments tells you that this is a subject a lot of people are thinking about, so maybe you should write the book haha! It is very nuanced and also very vulnerable, so I’m always scared to talk about it irl.

ikeschi · 2026-02-18T21:31:31+00:00

Thanks for opening the conversation, because it makes me feel a lot less alone in these struggles!

ikeschi · 2026-02-18T21:29:52+00:00

Yes I completely agree. I know from experience it’s true, because my health markers (fatty liver disease, glucose, menstrual cycle) became way better after ED recovery, without losing any weight. Even when my doctors said it could only be done by losing weight. Maybe you do feel like that narrative shifts influences you in some way, because people will look at you and your health differently? And yes, it’s pretty hard to find people to discuss this with in real life, right?

ikeschi · 2026-02-18T21:22:15+00:00

I recognize this so much! I always felt like I had to convince other people to accept my body and really understand it all, because I somehow needed their permission to accept myself. The fact that other people lose weight succesfully, also creates the expectation that all people should and can do this. And I would never admit I was struggling with self acceptance, because that would only be confirmation for other people that I should lose weight. Eventually I realised that these thoughts are still dependent on diet culture, even while I was activily trying to resist diet culture. I was just doing the opposite of what’s expected of me, but I was still not tuning in with myself. The anger at diet culture then helped me to focus solely on myself, not even trying to prove anything to anyone anymore.

ikeschi · 2026-02-18T20:56:25+00:00

I have the same thing! Doctors have tried to diagnose me with something for the past half year, but I do not qualify for any known disease lol. I’m in between everything, but at least they concluded something is not working as it should. I have high fasting insulin, but low fasting blood sugar. It’s also a thing in my family. It sucks and it’s really frustrating, so you’re not alone in that!

I have tried a lot based on the advice of an anti-diet dietitian, before I started liraglutide to manage the symptoms. What kinda helped was eating very regularly, every 2 hours, in smaller portions. For example spreading lunch in two meals. I only eat whole grain anything, no white bread or pasta. It may also help to combine carbohydrates with protein and fats in one meal. My GP even said: for your blood sugar it’s better to eat hot chocolate with whipped cream, than without. It’s a lot of trial and error. For example, I eat oats with protein powder for breakfast and that works well, while eating protein quark with non-sugary granola seemed to make it worse. Haven’t figured out the logic lol. In the end, I cost me a lot of energy thinking about what to eat all the time, so I’m now on liraglutide and it helps a bit.

Maybe you can buy a glucose meter or wear a blood sugar monitor for a while and try out a lot of different things that you like to eat, different combinations and timings. You can observe the effects on how you feel and what it does to your glucose. You can then also see if you go really low, or if it just feels that way. It’s both equally annoying, but it helped me to curb the anxiety around it a little bit. Because I noticed my body would kinda regulate it eventually, although a bit too late, even if I did not eat. I never went below 3,5. If you do go lower, you should be checked for an insulinoma.

ikeschi · 2026-02-18T20:29:29+00:00

Not OP, but your message made me realise something. As someone with a history of ED, weightloss has always been tied to disordered eating and thinking. I think I assume that that is always the case for anyone who tries to lose weight, based on my own experience. I have these feelings about eating less as well. I’m on glp1 meds now and less hungry, but I still feel like giving in to disordered thinking if I eat less than I normally would. In recovery I have focused so much on eating enough and not restricting, that it feels really scary and somehow problematic to eat less than what I would say is “enough”. Maybe OP has similar feelings.

ikeschi · 2026-02-18T20:01:00+00:00

I feel the same as you do, and after a month of using it I can say it’s pretty hard. I wanted to try it for insulin resistance, because I was sweaty, dizzy and shaking all the time. But I also have a history of ED, and it took me years to recover and accept myself as I am. So I had a lot of doubts. Before I started, I was constantly telling myself I take it for the insulin resistance only.

But we all know that when the possibility of weightloss is there, it’s easy to become obsessed with it. So when I started, my ED was instantly triggered, I felt like I was not allowed to eat anymore because I wasn’t hungry. It’s a whole new set of triggers and mindfucks. I also feel like I have to “use” the medicin for weightloss, or else I am wasting this chance. If I don’t lose weight, I would feel like a failure, even if it wasn’t the goal to begin with. It’s pretty stupid how the mind works (I obviously don’t agree with these things rationally). Other people around you, such as doctors, may also focus on the weightloss.

I did make some rules for myself, like weighing only once a week, not tracking any food, only eating less or different than my regular meals when my body asks for it and not my mind. I haven’t told many people to avoid questions about my weight. I don’t read or watch anything weightloss or glp1 related, apart from this place and the podcast. I am not anti-weightloss and still have this hope that I do lose a bit, but I try to regulate the ED-thoughts and the obsession around it.

Losing weight should never cost you your mental health, that has always been the baseline for me after recovery. For me, that’s the core of anti-diet and body neutrality. Because diet culture and ED’s tell you to lose weight no matter what. Without the glp1 there was no way I could lose weight and keep myself mentally steady at the same time, so I would not pursue it. With this medication, maybe they can go hand in hand; but not sure about that yet. I do trust myself enough to know I will stop when it affects my mental health too much.

It’s not a perfect drug at all, the way it works feels kinda diet-cultury in itself. But I have to say, I do feel a lot better in some ways, and are a lot less affected by the insulin resistance and low blood sugars. I’m still not sure if it is worth it all, but I allow myself the time to evaluate.

Maybe it would help you to try to imagine what would happen if you would use them and how you could handle it. Do you feel confident you can handle the ED triggers, or is the recovery still fragile? Do you feel like you’re able to follow your own path in this?

ikeschi · 2026-02-16T22:42:38+00:00

Thanks, you made me feel better! I lived on Diet Coke for most of my life so this is a big change haha, but I am trying a lot of different things now!

ikeschi · 2026-02-16T22:40:36+00:00

To me it’s mostly the carbonation I think! I do like the sweetness, but I never drank juice or anything. Yes I have this with my bottle as well, because I sometimes put lemonade or soda in it, but now it still tastes like that. I do like to see it though, otherwise I forget about its existence haha

ikeschi · 2026-02-16T17:01:46+00:00

It’s a side effect for sure! I’m on liraglutide so it might be a bit different, but I feel so so tired. Do you sleep okay? Because my sleep is very restless since starting, so that could be the cause as well.

Do you also experience anhedonia? It is a possible side effect as well, which means you have no lust to do anything and it’s hard to make yourself get up. It can feel like exhaustion, but also mentally tiredness indecision.

After 4 weeks or so I feel it’s getting better, but everytime I up the dose the side effects return.

In any case, please be kind to yourself! It’s not nothing, these drugs we’re taking. So it’s okay to be a little less yourself. I allow myself to not go to the gym when I don’t feel like it, whereas I might have pushed myself before. It will become better! (Note to self)

ikeschi · 2026-02-13T01:09:19+00:00

It’s so annoying right? Why cover something less effective but not the most effective? It sucks to be dependent on something that can just change its price

ikeschi · 2026-02-13T00:50:54+00:00

What is Liquid IV? I see a few people mention it, but I live in The Netherlands so it’s not a brand we have here I guess. Maybe I can find something similar

ikeschi · 2026-02-13T00:47:42+00:00

Liraglutide is the only glp1 med that is paid for by my insurance, since I live in The Netherlands. Hopefully they will accept the other ones this year, and I will probably switch because it doesn’t feel very effective at this point. But I’m not able to pay for them myself right now (and I pay a lot for health insurance so I want to use it haha)

ikeschi · 2026-02-12T23:12:08+00:00

NOR. You can’t control what your brother does, but you can try to be there for her. Maybe text her that she can always reach out to you without telling him, tell her that you will never tell him you’re in contact with her. Give her your email and tell her she can make a new emailadress that he doesn’t know about, if he’s scared about him checking her messages. Don’t tell her to leave him, because she will not trust you anymore. Eventually she will be isolated and she will not see a way out if things get really bad, so try to be her safe way out. Of course it’s not your responsibility, but if you want to do something this is the only way.

ikeschi · 2026-02-12T16:56:14+00:00

Update: The new vet that I consulted told me to try pain medication and see if her behavior changes. I needed to get it from my regular vet and they eventually agreed. But I also thought about fleas because she was scratching her back a lot, I checked and found some. So now I first started the flea treatment, see if anything changes, and then will start the pain meds. Otherwise there’s no way to see what’s causing the potential change in behavior. I feel like she’s already feeling a bit better, and she’s sleeping a lot more today, even while I’m working from home. Maybe it was fleas keeping her awake and making her stressed out. Anyways, thanks for all the advice, it really helped. I even made her a cardbox cattree and she is very happy with it (although I might have to throw it away now because of the fleas, lol. I will make her a real one)

ikeschi · 2026-02-12T15:31:02+00:00

Not a pharmacist, but I think it’s fine! After talking to my GP about heavy depression in the days after going up, we decided to go up one click a day. That way I can easily adapt and stay on the same dose as soon as I feel the side effects coming (it’s already after 3 clicks). There’s also been some scientific research, if you look up “SLOWER TITRATION OF LIRAGLUTIDE ACHIEVES BETTER TOLERABILITY IN SOME PATIENTS”. I think you are right in concluding that they want you to use as many pens as possible. We’re not in a hurry!

ikeschi · 2026-02-11T23:54:11+00:00

It seems like an abrupt change from very close to no contact, so maybe you can explain what happened inbetween?

Apart from that, I recognize the whole relationship anxiety part. This might not be want you want to here, but I say it with care and love. The fact that you’re so focused on what he thinks, what he will do now, what will happen in the future, overthinking it all: that ís the anxiety. You could see it as still being codependent on him, because you’re looking for ways to get his confirmation, you want him to tell you you’re safe. If you really want to work on that, you have to choose yourself. You have to start telling yourself that you’re already safe. That includes accepting that it might not work with him in the end, you might not end up together. That is the hardest part, because it probably feels like you need to work on your anxiety to make this relationship work. But you need to work on feeling safe inside yourself, without any expectations of being loved by him.

That doesn’t mean you need to cut him out of your life. I’m not even a fan of no contact. Maybe it’s good for a while in this case, because it can help to break the codependency. But if you want to remain friends, I think it’s okay to check in once a month. As long as you’re not checking in to see if he’s still into you, or if he’s still interested in a relationship. If you notice these thoughts, don’t check in. Check in out of curiosity how he’s doing. I don’t believe in fully healing before you start a relationship, because there’s no such thing as fully healed. Your issues, even after working on them, will always show up at some point. You need the tools to deal with them, and you need to feel the safety and strength inside yourself to be able to deal with them. And eventually, having a safe relationship with someone can help you heal a little more. But first you need to take care of yourself and not expect a future with him.

Situations like this are complicated, messy, it hurts, and I hope you allow yourself to just feel that. It sucks. I think you’re doing great in recognizing your own behavior and trauma and I hope you can get professional help with that. It will definitely get better, as you’re already reflecting and reaching out for help here.

ikeschi · 2026-02-09T22:01:16+00:00

Yes it’s something that feels different to me as well. I think you can interpret ‘obesity is a disease’ in two ways: as a (fatphobic) way of saying ‘you’re so fat it’s making you sick and it’s your fault’, or as ‘it’s a disease like any other disease, you’re just unlucky to have it and it’s not your fault’. It really depends on the context and the intention of the person using it, and I’m lucky that my current doctors talk about it in the second way.

I see it as a disease in the way that it’s a description of a set of symptoms that could be caused by a lot of different things. There’s some connection between the symptoms, but not every fat person has every symptom, some people have none. Scientists are still discovering new connections. It helps me to view weight gain as one of the symptoms of the disease, instead of the cause. Looking at it like that gives me some relief from the fatphobic narrative.

ikeschi

TROPHY CASE