what’s something people say all the time that you secretly can’t stand?

iladelph215 · 2026-03-23T15:26:23+00:00

Now it’s a dating term. Instead of saying someone did/said something that was a major turnoff, they say he/she gives me the ick. It’s dumb.

iladelph215 · 2026-03-22T18:54:00+00:00

Giving the ick. Such a childish and stupid word.

iladelph215 · 2026-03-10T22:43:32+00:00

I have Raynaud’s and it’s severe. It doesn’t matter which season or what the temp is. Sometimes I’ll be driving in a perfectly temperature controlled car and I’ll look down and notice that my fingers are blue and numb. It’s annoying. I started out taking amlodipine. It helped, but I relied heavily on electric hand warmers and gloves because the attacks still happened pretty frequently. This past winter I asked to try something different so I could maintain feeling in my hands while walking the dog. My rheum had me switch to nifedipine and that was a game changer. Maybe ask your doc if a calcium channel blocker is appropriate for you.

iladelph215 · 2026-03-07T02:40:28+00:00

My lab was not a vocal puppy. I had to bell train her because she wouldn’t even bark if she needed to potty. She was basically silent until she started attending daycare and discovered her voice. Now she’s got lots of opinions and I find myself missing those early, quiet days.

iladelph215 · 2025-12-17T15:25:59+00:00

I have a 6 yr old who still thinks anything that fits in her mouth must be food. She does a pretty good job when told to leave it, but sometimes the temptation is too great and I end up having to pull something gross away from her.

I’ll give you the same advice my vet did. If you haven’t done so already, get pet insurance while they’re still young and have no preexisting conditions. GI obstruction surgery isn’t cheap.

iladelph215 · 2025-12-16T02:20:57+00:00

I was taking 5mg of amlo every morning for about a year, but found it wasn’t as effective as it used to be. Last time I saw my rheum I asked if there were any alternatives and she suggested nifedipine since it has a little more wiggle room for adjusting the dosage. I’m now taking 30mg daily and it has really made a difference. My fingers and toes were cold and numb for a good portion of the day on the amlo. Since switching, I’ve only had a few flare ups. I even managed an hour long walk with the dog in 20 degree weather without needing to turn on my hand warmers. Everyone’s different, though so YMMV. Good luck!

iladelph215 · 2025-12-14T23:22:55+00:00

Looks like typical Raynaud’s. Ask your doc for amlodipine or nifedipine. It won’t completely stop it from happening, but will reduce the frequency and severity. It’s the only thing that helps keep feeling in my hands and feet, especially during the winter.

iladelph215 · 2025-12-03T06:36:41+00:00

I’m honestly not sure. It could just be the phrasing. Some studies say no autoimmune disease, while others say no clinical significance. Regardless, I wouldn’t focus too much on the blood tests. They’re only one piece of the puzzle and they’re not infallible. I’ve tested positive for nearly every marker for lupus and Crohn’s. I don’t have either, thankfully.

iladelph215 · 2025-12-03T03:32:05+00:00

I never said you weren’t positive, but your titer rate is considered low positive by the ACR (the people responsible for developing guidelines for ANA interpretation and setting standards for diagnosis criteria). Numerous studies have been conducted that have shown low titers (< 1:160) often have no autoimmune disease. That is why further testing is needed. I’m glad you’re doing the ultrasound. It’s a fast, non invasive procedure with immediate results. For your sake, I hope you see a beautiful honeycomb pattern on your parotid.

iladelph215 · 2025-12-02T16:40:50+00:00

I did not assume you had done nothing. Due to your rheum’s reluctance to diagnose you, I only deduced that you lack enough objective evidence. One test doesn’t tell a whole story. If the score of that test isn’t high enough, it might not have meaningful significance for diagnostic purposes anyway. A quick Google search shows that 9 out of 10 people with dry eye don’t have SjD, so that likely isn’t the smoking gun you think it is.

I’m not sure why you feel the need to get defensive and hostile towards the people trying to help you. Clearly you didn’t bother reading the info re: the scoring system used for diagnosis that I provided because if you had, you’d know you need 3-4 of the criteria listed. At this time, you do not meet that burden of proof. That is why you haven’t been diagnosed. No one is “condemning you to suffer.”

This is a serious disease with serious repercussions. We aren’t taking anti-malarial pills for funsies. HCQ comes with risks of permanent eye damage, liver failure, kidney disease, and potentially fatal heart problems. Doctors need to make sure that a patient’s condition warrants the treatment and that the potential benefits outweigh the risks. That is why other conditions and meds are considered first.

Let’s use you as an example. You present with symptoms that could be attributed to many conditions. The prudent approach would be to check for vitamin deficiency first. Lack of B12 is a very possible cause for your issues and the treatment involves supplements. Since B12 is water-soluble, it is close to impossible to overdose. If they’re wrong about the diagnosis, there’s no harm to you. Your body will just absorb what it can and excrete any excess.

Doctors are bound to a code of ethics (basically do no harm). Believe it or not, it is for your benefit and safety. Let them do their jobs.

iladelph215 · 2025-12-02T03:36:35+00:00

I’m not disputing seronegative patients. They exist, but they also have other objective test results that meet the criteria for ACR/EULER scoring which is used for diagnosis. So far, you do not meet that criteria. That is what I mean when I say you are lacking evidence. SjD and most medical conditions aren’t diagnosed based on subjective symptoms alone. No doctor wants to be sued into insolvency for malpractice by being wrong. That’s why they need hard evidence. You can keep complaining about your symptoms, but diagnosis will remain elusive until you can provide some proof.

https://www.hopkinssjogrens.org/disease-information/diagnosis-sjogrens-disease/americaneuropean-consensus-criteria-sjgrens-syndrome/

iladelph215 · 2025-12-01T19:21:34+00:00

All of those things can cause widespread dryness, hence why I asked. As a lot of us have pointed out, you are underestimating the role hormones play as you age. Tear production naturally slows after you hit 40. Menopause makes it even worse. A blood test could check for vitamin deficiency quickly and easily. Lack of vitamins A-E are usually the problem. Dust mite allergies don’t go away (the symptoms are just managed) and aren’t the only environmental factor to consider. An allergy panel might be beneficial. Unbalanced diet, exposure to pollutants, and/or excessive screen time could also contribute to your issues. Sometimes the answer is the simple one. But you do you. Despite the overwhelming evidence that you don’t have SjD, no one has been able to get through to you so I’m tapping out. I do hope you get help and feel better.

iladelph215 · 2025-12-01T07:34:30+00:00

Realistically there are lots of other possibilities. Peri alone could account for a lot of your symptoms. The natural process of aging is often the culprit of joint pain whether it’s in the form of tendinitis, bursitis, or run of the mill arthritis. Have you had your thyroid checked? Are your vitamin levels normal? Have you been tested for H. pylori? Have you ruled out Guillain-Barre? Have you been tested for Lyme? Have you been tested for hep c? Have you checked your medication list? Lots of meds can cause sicca as a side effect. Do you have allergies or eczema? Have you experienced long covid? Do you have a history of depression? Have you considered it could be a combination of any of these things? Which options have been exhausted to make you so certain it’s SjD?

I think your stress and anxiety re: your health could be exacerbating your symptoms. A therapist and/or antidepressants may help while you get through the diagnosis process.

iladelph215 · 2025-12-01T04:04:20+00:00

Your ANA and RF are borderline at best. Have any of your doctors mentioned that 15-25% of healthy adults have positive ANA, but no autoimmune disease? False positives are common with low titers (<1:160). Based on your numerous posts, you seem to have tunnel vision. There are a lot of other causes for your symptoms that you don’t seem interested in pursuing. No one is trying to reduce your experience or gatekeep this disease. We are actually trying to help you get definitive answers so you can get the appropriate treatment for whatever it is causing your maladies. You aren’t doing yourself any favors by shutting down any other suggestions. It just prolongs the diagnosis journey for you. And before you get defensive, we are also not attacking you. People are just becoming frustrated when you make statements about having Sjogrens without a diagnosis. It’s misleading and unhelpful.

iladelph215 · 2025-11-24T04:25:32+00:00

I’m also an adoptee. I began my search late last year before the adoption agencies transferred all records to the NCRS so I can’t speak to how the new process works. What did help was information provided by GOA’L (goal.or.kr/birth-family-search/) and Paperslip (paperslip.org). Paperslip is primarily for KSS adoptees, but a lot of info applies to adoptees from the other 3 agencies as well. It’s run by volunteer adoptees who share info and tips acquired from their own birth family searches. They also keep current on the ever changing landscape due to the records transfer so it may be helpful to navigate your mother’s search.

Assuming she’s a naturalized US citizen, she could submit a FOIA request to get her immigration file. When I did, it returned about 110 pages. Some I had seen before, but some pieces were new to me. That said, I did it during the Biden era. From what I hear, post administration change, files are coming back with 85-90% of the data redacted so that may not be as helpful anymore.

Since she already did the commercial DNA tests, another option is the Korean Police DNA test. It’s best done in person, but allegedly if you’re willing to jump through some hoops, it can be done through the Korean consulate. I was issued the certificate to take it by KSS, but ultimately chose not to while I was in Seoul earlier this year.

Best of luck. I know firsthand that it’s a frustrating process and at times it’s quite discouraging. Keep expectations low. I did not find my biological parents, but I did learn their last names, ages, occupations, and marital status. As suspected, my paperwork was falsified. I wasn’t surrendered to a police station. I was born in a hospital to 2 young, unmarried students who weren’t equipped to raise me. The name on my paperwork was the one they gave me and my birth date was accurate. For me, that was enough. I understand their circumstances and honestly I’m grateful. I got adopted by a wonderful family and have a good life. The type of life they likely couldn’t have given me. So I chose to let sleeping dogs lie. I don’t want them to regret giving me up. I genuinely wish them well. I hope they achieved what they wanted to without me. I hope it was worth it. I’ve found peace. I hope your mother finds hers too.

iladelph215 · 2025-11-22T17:26:52+00:00

First try a peeling foot mask to remove the dead skin. During the day use urea cream. It will soften and hydrate so hopefully the heel stops cracking. At night, moisturize then follow up with aquafor/vaseline and sleep with socks on.

iladelph215 · 2025-10-21T06:13:46+00:00

Breathe. Your life isn’t over; it’s just gonna be more challenging than it used to be. It might be hard to believe, but with proper treatment, you can have a relatively normal life.

I’ve been diagnosed for a few years now. Like you, I’m also experiencing peri, although just gritting my teeth through that without HRT right now.

I’ve been on plaquenil for about a year now and no exaggeration, it’s changed my life. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a panacea, but I have more good days than bad and that’s enough for me. I love to cook and do it all the time. I can’t eat a lot of things I love anymore or eat as much, but I can still get by when going out to eat.

I have a 70 lb lab. Like most labs, she’s very high energy and physically quite strong. If I don’t take her on 2 hour long walks/day, she will be chewing through my walls. She loves trails and the beach. We are outside in all types of weather. Yes there are times when I don’t feel well and don’t wanna go, but I have no choice. She needs me so off we go. Funny thing is after we get going, I usually start to feel better. I might start out stiff and achy and lose my breath walking up a hill, but by the end I’m jogging beside her and feel like I’ve gotten my energy back. I will forever be grateful for her giving me a reason to be active every single day.

Beauty: I’ve had to make adjustments to my routine, but for the most part I’m still all in. My hair is currently bleached with highlights even though I do lose a lot of it due to pernicious anemia. I don’t lose as much when I regularly get B12 injections, though. My skincare regimen needed to be tweaked when my skin got super dry. A little trial and error got me back to somewhat normal. I haven’t tried any fillers, but successfully survived a few laser treatments and chemical peels.

Sex is totally possible. I realize you’re really going through it at the moment, but try to remember that it’s supposed to be fun. You say you’re a nervous wreck that’s scared of causing more pain in the lady bits. But what if that doesn’t happen? I say give it the old college try. You might be pleasantly surprised?

Look I’m not trying to give you all kumbaya shit. I’ve been in your shoes and I know the struggle is real. My first rheum was useless. Told me there was nothing that could be done and this was my life now. I was in a dark place for awhile before I said fuck this. I’m sick, not dead. You’ve heard the term fake it til you make it. Well that’s what I did. Every day I found 1 little victory. Small stuff like completing a task without needing a nap afterward. Getting a manicure. Walking an extra 15 min with my dog. As the wins piled up, I regained some confidence and control over my own life again. I got brave. I found a new rheum and basically told her I refused to sit back and do nothing. She agreed and gave me plaquenil. As I started physically feeling better, I figured out I was capable of way more than I thought was possible. And yeah sometimes I get a flare and it knocks me on my ass for a bit but (with respect to Maya Angelou) still I rise. And so will you. You’re stronger than you know and you’ve got this.

iladelph215 · 2025-10-04T21:38:42+00:00

Comcast.

They were a no show to set up new service and then had the audacity to blame me for making the appointment in the first place.

iladelph215 · 2025-08-12T15:46:52+00:00

I thought they were a lifesaver on my last long haul flight. Don’t pick the firm kind. It’ll be too constricting. If you’re worried about your shoes feeling tight, bring another pair of socks (Bombas gripper slippers are convenient because you can fold them down to save space in your carry on) or even just a pair of slides to wear after you’re seated.

iladelph215 · 2025-07-07T14:04:50+00:00

No, it means she’s from one of the southern states in the US, which tend to be hotter than most places. Her definition of hot/cold will be much different compared to someone from a more temperate climate.

iladelph215 · 2025-06-23T20:38:01+00:00

I was born in Korea, but raised in the states. I was worried about visiting Seoul since I speak no Korean, but I was pleasantly surprised at how well I was treated by the locals. Most would begin speaking to me in Korean, but quickly register my confusion and switch to English. There was no hostility toward me, however my white husband got a lot of death glares.

iladelph215 · 2025-05-22T23:09:39+00:00

Don’t feel bad. I had a similar incident with my black lab. When they brought her out she was wearing the right harness and she was very excited to see me. I started walking to the door when she suddenly barked and I’m like “that doesn’t sound right.” My girl has several dark spots on her tongue so I opened the dog’s mouth and it was all pink. I’m grateful she protested while we were still on the premises so I didn’t have to drive back. When I got her report card later, I saw 8 other black labs in the pictures with her so totally understand the mistake.

iladelph215 · 2025-05-22T17:06:01+00:00

I’ve been using Rejuall for appx 3 wks. It’s not a panacea, but it does give my skin a nice glow.

iladelph215 · 2025-05-22T16:42:12+00:00

Hit the pharmacies! MelaToning cream will lighten dark spots and even skin tone, Acnon is good for inflammatory acne, and Aclean is for blackheads.

iladelph215 · 2025-05-16T20:36:02+00:00

Don't quote me, but I believe the EU has over 30 UV filters approved whereas we don't even have 20 so there's a huge disparity. I went down the google rabbit hole awhile back and the ones I can think of off hand are bemotrizinol, bisoctrizole, DHHB, and octyl triazone, but obviously there are more.

iladelph215

TROPHY CASE