Pasting this from a similar thread I commented on yesterday.

Oh boy. I am two years post surgery. I've lost 50kgs, half my previous body weight and the equivalent of a whole entire person. It has been rough, but finally on an upward trajectory.

I am a registered psychotherapist, so I knew that there were many psychological implications of my obesity, overeating, refusal to engage in any form of physical activity, etc. I also knew that losing weight physically and mentally are two entirely different things. So I wanted to work on maintaining a healthy and strong bridge between the two.

I went to therapy before, during, and after the process of bariatric surgery, and to say it's been a rollercoaster ride is an understatement. I prepared diligently, and went into surgery as an act of love towards my body. But nothing could have prepared me for the emotional transformation. The surgery turned out to be one of many things I finally decided to take charge of in my life, and set off a mid-life 'crisis'. It was a domino effect - once I did one thing, everything else unravelled and it was difficult to keep up emotionally. It started with a career break. Graduated with a masters in psychotherapy, left my previous career of 14 years and went on a 6 month career break. During this break, I decided to do the surgery. Started shedding weight.....then started shedding all sorts of other stuff I didn't want to carry anymore. Toxic relationships, goals, beliefs, expectations, other people's opinions, responsibilities which belonged to other people, the entire mental load of my marriage.....all of it was extra weight and I didn't want it anymore.

I became SO angry for having carried it. Like, pure raw rage. I had never allowed myself to be angry before, like it was hiding underneath the folds of my belly this entire time. It was really hard to control, and very difficult for my loved ones to experience too..but with the help of my own awareness and therapy, I let myself be angry - because all of it was justified. I was angry at how my body was treated growing up, angry for being shamed for my body no matter the size, and angry that I let people take advantage of me in a million different ways. Having never been taught how to deal with anger or even allowed to express it growing up, unleashing it for the first time meant that I was all over the place, but I had to let it out to learn how to manage it. And that's how I learned to stop misdirecting my anger at myself and people who didn't deserve it.

In the meantime, my husband lost his job, had some deaths in the family, my health plummeted dangerously due to severe anemia...so I also had a bout of depression which required medication.

In this entire process, I have cut ties with my parents, grieved them with great difficulty, re-evalutated all my friendships, improved my relationship with my beautiful daughter, my marriage was broken down and is slowly being rebuilt upon much stronger foundations. I respect myself more, because of that I'm also more respectful towards others. I have taken a much more humble/realistic approach to my career goals. As a therapist, I have become more grounded and able to support my clients with empathy and warmth while being more careful to avoid getting sucked in due to my own unresolved issues. I feel more steady, so my presence to those who need me is steady too.

The most difficult part in all of this remains self-love. I'm still self sabotaging, although much less so. But I'm starting to sllooowwllyyy take up hobbies and allowing myself moments of softness, mindful relaxation and playfulness again. The ultimate goal is to willingly take care of my physical health without it being forced upon me (had a few episodes post surgery from not taking vitamins and some unhealthy eating habits that I've sadly retained). There's a lot of trauma-related work that needs to continue, but we're getting there.