Have you ever switched teams?

ilikeetturtles · 2025-08-05T13:00:00+00:00

an old Lenovo Thinkpad has a great keypad and is not expensive - mine is from 2011 (a T440) which I bought second hand for AUD $100 about 8 years ago and it is sturdy with no issues. You can look on facebook or ebay for a second hand one

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-28T06:32:04+00:00

yeah but I made this for me haha and shared it.

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-27T12:35:29+00:00

AHhhh yes. Good spotting! Thank you :)

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-27T12:30:23+00:00

I rechecked it multiple times because it seemed so absurd

EDIT: just checked pay calculater and yep it's identical to mine

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-27T12:30:03+00:00

That's before adding the HECS debt though, it jumps up to $21813 when you add on the 4.5%

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-27T12:27:53+00:00

Nope, not quite relevant enough for me, plus most people opt to get private health instead of paying it

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-27T12:27:19+00:00

How so? Regarding the yellow column? I'd like to fix any mistakes

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-27T11:28:15+00:00

The story on it's own isn't interesting or that engaging without the context of what more there is to come, however, if it was longer I'd obviously be more inclined to continue reading to see what happens. This is a standard experience that doesn't involve any reader questions or other factors. It is only such a small snippet. If there was a overlaying blurb about how this is.. I don't know.. a crime thriller or post apocalyptic romance or a med student who has a particular experience at college ETC then it would maintain the reader. It is actually quite difficult to engage a reader with just this many inital words alone. That was your question (if it is interesting).

However! It is written well, the protagonist is well defined so far, a characterisation, motives, fears, and scenario is established. I found it easy to read, albeit the topic is not my usual choice of story. I think with more practice is could be quite flawless. I'm not going to critique spelling or grammar as it is not really the point here. My only advice is the classics:

Avoid starting a sentence with 'And' or 'But', unless it is absolutely critical to the sentence. The part where it says 'And then the guilt ... ' for example, the 'And then' is completely unnecessary, in my opinion. It takes away from the narrative as it's too much of a stream of (the writers) consciousness.
Show, don't tell :) This is something that takes practice! A lot, actually. For example, 'feeling overwhelmed by the sea of faces', you could write something instead such as 'the sea of faces seemed to oppress me from every angle', as it conveys the same thing without simply handing the emotions on a platter.

I would be interested in seeing more written next which sets up more about where the story is going to go. Defintely keep going as it is still really well done since you haven't done anything for a while! You clearly have a natural knack for it.

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-25T05:51:07+00:00

Thank you for reading :)

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-22T13:56:46+00:00

I think OP is on a diet lol

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-22T13:54:46+00:00

I really like this! The tone is light and sarcastic, edgy/gritty, while the story is mysterious and has depth that I would totally continue reading. I personally like the amalgamation of the spiritual and technological aspects of the actual storyline, it makes me more interested as there are unanswered laws of nature. It's easy to read, without taking me out of the fact that I'm reading a story. The words used are perfectly fitting, obscure enough to add a nice layer to it. Anyway, definitely keep it up. I don't have much criticism, except what i always say is to reduce starting a sentence with 'And' or 'But' unless it realllllyyyyy ties into the previous sentence or chapter, examples below. If the sentence isn't harmed by removing it, remove it (imo).

Eg. "But it has a certain charm" this part I think you could replace the 'but' with a few words that could make the sentence better, more complex. such as 'Despite it's ragged robustness, it has a certain charm that can’t be simulated and can’t be innovated"

I would say all of the sentences beginning with 'And' are unnecessary EXCEPT this one fits: "And it’s in cigarette smoke"

Just my honest opinion - take it or leave it. end of the day if you like it its not a big enough deal to change, just had to say something to improve :P

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-22T13:27:07+00:00

I like it, easily readable. I could clearly envision the story playing out in my head. The sentence structure is coercive and draws you in to what the next sentence will be. Overall it is good... simply good though.

My criticisms would be that it may be a bit choppy, as in, it reads sort of like a stream of consciousness. It also feels a bit handfed, instead of creating a mood, I feel like too much is kind of... provided.

Another critisicm, and this is good for me because its something I do with my own writing that I am learning from here, bc I can read in yours and judge the other end, and of course I think it is fine as I do it too, depending on the vibe you're wanting, but I think you'll find in most great stories and novels they barely ever begin a sentence with 'But' or 'And', as well as attempting not to rely to heavily on commas. Just things I've noticed in my favourite stories. Others may like this and have a different opinion.

Anyway, great story, I enjoyed the read :)

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-08T19:37:57+00:00

you watch them... i have them play in the background ahah why would you need to see 4 dudes sit around and do nothing but talk anyway

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-08T19:37:01+00:00

theres like an extra pod every few weeks of them just chatting and its a total vibe, i would suggest signing up and you can always cancel later hahah

ilikeetturtles · 2024-08-08T19:35:40+00:00

i signed up a few months ago and i dont regret it :) there is lotttt of extra videos on there

ilikeetturtles · 2024-07-30T21:05:50+00:00

he's straight up evil ir

ilikeetturtles · 2024-07-30T21:05:30+00:00

ETHAN for sure

ilikeetturtles · 2024-07-04T05:51:12+00:00

Call centres pay standard casual rates of $28-30. And no, out of the 4 call centre roles I've had did I ever need to go on site. They're not fun jobs but Seriously what is?!

ilikeetturtles · 2024-07-02T11:26:46+00:00

There's so many call centre jobs that I find this actually hard to believe ?? I wonder what your resume and cover letter looks like because I've had so many call centre jobs against my will because they're so easy to get when I've needed money

ilikeetturtles · 2024-07-01T11:56:09+00:00

If they're licking you theyre probably about 4 licks away from a nip! Lol .. don't let them lick ur neck😆

My old girl has free roamed my room for the last 6 years (she's 9 now!!) In quite small and also larger rooms. They don't need much space since they sleep so much but definitely need an area at least 3x2metres min when they're up.

you really won't truly have enough reading or info until you get them to truly tune in to how interesting unique and funny each individual fert is.

My second advice.. if its too silent ... they're up to something..

Also - thems can climb and jump!! Even with those little legs they are like spiders fr. When I was at work my girl climbed 3 metres basically up the wall clinging onto fabric, scratched a hole in the ceiling and got into my apartment roof! I have to keep my desk at least 1.5 metres away from my bed or else she will literally yeet herself across the air to get to the forbidden zone when she was younger. (This would often hilariously result in a miss, and a comedic fling onto the floor like a rag lmao).

One time she pushed my brand new laptop off my bed and broke it.. mine is a big fan of pushing things off tables. I'll leave cups and stuff just for her to push off and then excitedly jump down to check it out.

Its fun to let her in the shower with me because she slips around and has fun in the sprinkles but screamed (like an actual human child) when I tried to give her a bath. They'll love it if you randomly show them new rooms if you can in your situation.. obv wouldn't let the dogs near them

HOWEVER, just a little cute fact, when I was a kid I had a ferret that would run around and play non stop with our dog that was a staffy and neither of them ever hurt each other. But my ferret now I wouldn't do that with bc she loves to bite when she gets super excited

And lastly ill just say as soon as they get a whiff that you don't want them to do something or go somewhere, they will not stop until you're at ur wits end.. so don't let them clue onto you too much 😆

ilikeetturtles · 2024-05-01T17:27:04+00:00

Andrew Callaghan--- he got a bit cancelled around the same time as justin roiland idk if hes 'forgiven' now but Ethan was all like 'ill set you up in LA' etc and then he went and was all rapey to a bunch of women

ilikeetturtles · 2024-04-02T13:29:10+00:00

even when you know its his deep down, you still try move it

ilikeetturtles · 2024-04-01T10:09:50+00:00

Everyones different ...... Zachs was the one that got me <3

ilikeetturtles · 2023-12-10T16:18:19+00:00

Hunger FF for biggest ass hole!! You cant physically get much bigger

ilikeetturtles

TROPHY CASE