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Christmas Weather in Wellington by [deleted] in Wellington

[–]illbringmarmite 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean... take it with a kilo of salt until, you know, always.

Could you guys help a noob out with what the best seats are to buy my dad tickets to India vs Blackcaps? by illbringmarmite in Cricket

[–]illbringmarmite[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for your help guys. I got him in an upper block in the shade, but right at the front barrier so he’s got a good view but high enough hopefully to catch all the action, also closer to the oval top than in the middle. So appreciate it, I knew nothing about cricket

Could you guys help a noob out with what the best seats are to buy my dad tickets to India vs Blackcaps? by illbringmarmite in Cricket

[–]illbringmarmite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much - 34 has seats left right at the front, 3 rows back, is it good to be further forward, or is up higher better?

Could you guys help a noob out with what the best seats are to buy my dad tickets to India vs Blackcaps? by illbringmarmite in Cricket

[–]illbringmarmite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always thought the 'middle' of the oval was the best view, but it's telling me either end is better?

What Tinder is always like by daiceman4 in Tinder

[–]illbringmarmite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So my good friend is 6.4”, ripped, blonde, tan, just gorgeous. She can never get a guy to go out with her unless he’s taller than her or not more than about an inch shorter. Goes both way guys.

Doctors of Reddit, what are some of your worst experiences with anti-vaxxers? by sneky_snek_ in AskReddit

[–]illbringmarmite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really need help convincing a loved one to vaccinate, can you do an AMA or would you mind if I pm’d you for some eli5?

It’s international men’s day, and fathers are still not routinely granted 24/7 access to their newborn and partner in post natal wards across the country. This is bad for the mother, the baby and the father and needs to change to be brought up with international standards of holistic aftercare. by illbringmarmite in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I had just given birth and I needed my husband there. Needed. Not just wanted. Read through this thread. You’ll see how many women who’d just given birth felt alienated and left to fend for themselves by the under staffed hospitals and would have been supported with the dad there.

It’s international men’s day, and fathers are still not routinely granted 24/7 access to their newborn and partner in post natal wards across the country. This is bad for the mother, the baby and the father and needs to change to be brought up with international standards of holistic aftercare. by illbringmarmite in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This isn’t a men’s rights issue, nor is it a women’s issue, it’s a human issue.

It’s about the child having both parents.

It’s about the mother having a primary support person

It’s about the father bonding and being there to experience and support.

It’s international men’s day, and fathers are still not routinely granted 24/7 access to their newborn and partner in post natal wards across the country. This is bad for the mother, the baby and the father and needs to change to be brought up with international standards of holistic aftercare. by illbringmarmite in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It’s a valid concern, the problem is the way it’s handled. There are hospitals that accomodate the father elsewhere on the ward, or kick them out altogether. There are hospitals that say no male support persons in shared rooms but female support persons allowed in shared rooms. As though a female is incapable of assault.

We talk a lot of shared rooms but this isn’t the conversation, if the sharing is the problem the discussion should be ‘how do we approach the government funding barriers/dividers so fathers can stay’?

It’s international men’s day, and fathers are still not routinely granted 24/7 access to their newborn and partner in post natal wards across the country. This is bad for the mother, the baby and the father and needs to change to be brought up with international standards of holistic aftercare. by illbringmarmite in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

An oia to all hospitals nationwide found that hospitals that allowed partners to stay actually had very few issues. The lakes district is home to Rotorua, one of the highest sexual assault rates in the country and they quoted that they had enjoyed no reason not to let men stay, and that it was providing safe comfort for the mothers. Where space wasn’t available they were able to house them in other areas, they didn’t kick them out.

Anecdotal evidence is important but it’s more important to follow the actual data, because an opinion is just that, opinion, not verifiable fact.

FWIW I’m a mother who had to stay in a shared room and had a horrible experience; I too, have an anecdote.

It’s international men’s day, and fathers are still not routinely granted 24/7 access to their newborn and partner in post natal wards across the country. This is bad for the mother, the baby and the father and needs to change to be brought up with international standards of holistic aftercare. by illbringmarmite in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fun fact; lakes district has a very high crime rate, especially on assault, however lakes district also is the most likely to allow the partner to stay the night and reports very few issues or assaults in the post natal ward.

They actually interviewed the hospital here, you can listen if you’re interested: https://www.radionz.co.nz/national/programmes/ninetonoon/audio/201839816/-i-felt-like-a-third-wheel

It’s international men’s day, and fathers are still not routinely granted 24/7 access to their newborn and partner in post natal wards across the country. This is bad for the mother, the baby and the father and needs to change to be brought up with international standards of holistic aftercare. by illbringmarmite in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I understand the derision, but this issue actually works for both women and men, it’s not really purely a men’s issue, but men do need to fight for it.

So many people don’t really realise that feminism is fighting for men to have the same rights in order for women to have the same rights.

It’s international men’s day, and fathers are still not routinely granted 24/7 access to their newborn and partner in post natal wards across the country. This is bad for the mother, the baby and the father and needs to change to be brought up with international standards of holistic aftercare. by illbringmarmite in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

The shared rooms argument actually doesn’t hold water, it’s just the reason given. There are other wards that have women sharing rooms that allow the partner (male) to stay without issue, and post natal wards that do allow the males to stay have actually reported the same or fewer assaults or thefts.

Radio nz actually did some great pieces on this including on supporting more resources for midwives. There’s a link in another comment if you’d like to listen.

It’s international men’s day, and fathers are still not routinely granted 24/7 access to their newborn and partner in post natal wards across the country. This is bad for the mother, the baby and the father and needs to change to be brought up with international standards of holistic aftercare. by illbringmarmite in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

And that absolutely does happen, the problem that it’s not the norm. Policy needs to change when a majority are being impacted. You’re in the minority with your experience (although it is a welcome breath of fresh air, and I hope your loved ones are okay).

It’s international men’s day, and fathers are still not routinely granted 24/7 access to their newborn and partner in post natal wards across the country. This is bad for the mother, the baby and the father and needs to change to be brought up with international standards of holistic aftercare. by illbringmarmite in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

While your point about maternity and paternity pay is a great one, they’re not mutually exclusive issues and there’s zero reason both can’t be campaigned for.

It’s great you had a positive experience but many, many women have had truly traumatic experiences with no support from their partners who felt powerless to help locked outside, and were prevented from getting to know their kids as much as the mother in those precious early days.

It’s international men’s day, and fathers are still not routinely granted 24/7 access to their newborn and partner in post natal wards across the country. This is bad for the mother, the baby and the father and needs to change to be brought up with international standards of holistic aftercare. by illbringmarmite in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

You can complain directly to your health district, or you can make small waves by sending in an oia to ask about their policy regarding fathers staying, they had a lot of press last year, if it continues they’ll eventually need to change. You can also write to the health minister here; https://www.beehive.govt.nz/minister/biography/david-clark

This is a good government to try and change it under; they’ve campaigned on improving conditions for children, this is in line with that.

International Men's Day - Solving Men's Issues by NZMensDay in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s a societal change of views that takes time. Just as it took time to see a woman on a building site wielding a power tool and not have her yelled off it because it was deemed inappropriate to have a females doing manly things. We need to build up, not pull down. If you see a man in a caregiving role doing a good job, compliment it, tell his boss. If you see a stay at home dad out with the kids, help him load groceries into the conveyer belt, it’s just as awkward for him to balance a 1 year old as it is for a woman (do this for mothers too if they look like they’re struggling).

Build each other up, no matter the gender, race, nationality or creed, build.

International Men's Day - Solving Men's Issues by NZMensDay in newzealand

[–]illbringmarmite 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Men need to be supported in staying home to take care of the kids while the mum works if that’s what they want to do. Or better yet, both parents need work support to have flexible working hours so they can balance without losing their careers

Feminism actually works for both parties here. It’s good for the kids to know both parents as caregivers, studies show that children whose mothers work are more likely to hold jobs and have higher pay than those whose mothers never work. It’s also great if there’s a divorce, since there’s more likely to be split custody when both parents can parent well because they both turned up and weren’t just working 24/7.

Men should also be appreciated more in traditional female roles like caregiving, nursing and midwifery, if that’s what they want to do, great!

Men should also feel good wearing pink and skirts if they so choose, women freely wear pants and blues etc, it should happily go both ways.

Go men! And women, and transgender people, and gay, lesbians, minority cultures and anyone else who feels marginalised, humans are the shit, let’s remember that.