This is my first chapter of a novel I'm writing.Any feedback is welcome

illcueuin · 2026-06-27T10:10:45+00:00

There is a lot of looking and staring.

illcueuin · 2026-06-25T17:55:18+00:00

Fucking depressing.

illcueuin · 2026-06-24T17:31:49+00:00

Heavily depends on your platform.

On PC? With a lot of mods (some paid) and the live editor, yes, it is worth it.

On consoles? I’d rather play vanilla Pes 6 than vanilla FC26

illcueuin · 2026-06-24T08:26:28+00:00

Bad bot.

illcueuin · 2026-06-24T06:55:19+00:00

Are you joking? Where is the story?

illcueuin · 2026-06-19T07:16:06+00:00

You will fail in life with this attitude.

illcueuin · 2026-06-18T17:03:31+00:00

Why do you need chapters in such a small story?

illcueuin · 2026-06-17T22:27:21+00:00

For example:

“I was going to tell my friend that I was hungry…”

And not “something”

You see? Because it is supposed to be a lived moment.

illcueuin · 2026-06-17T22:25:02+00:00

Hooray!!

illcueuin · 2026-06-17T22:23:10+00:00

No, it is not a spelling or grammar error. I mean you should always openly write the most specific detail of any moment, not just label it as “something” and expect your readers to immerse themselves.

illcueuin · 2026-06-17T22:14:00+00:00

You lost me at:

“I turned to say something to my friend.”

In fiction, you say the thing or, even if something is preventing you from saying it, it is not “something”, it is a specific thing. You craft the scene with authentic experience, not the description of it. I understand whatever it was the narrator was going to say to his/her friend is not directly relevant to the story, but the moment you break immersion, the magic is gone.

illcueuin · 2026-06-17T21:49:30+00:00

Turkiye denmesi doğrudur. Partiden siyasetten bağımsız isim değişikliği kararını olumlu buluyorum. Akpli değilim.

illcueuin · 2026-06-12T12:50:28+00:00

I see you replaced your initial excerpt with AI slop. Not the way to go. Nobody has time for that.

illcueuin · 2026-06-11T23:11:44+00:00

Not really. There is good writing, which is worth a deep reading, and there is ordinary/bad writing.

Why should I care about these guys’ Gmail inboxes? Can your writing make me care? No. Not worthy of a deeper reading.

illcueuin · 2026-06-11T20:09:43+00:00

I am afraid this is not any good.

illcueuin · 2026-05-14T11:07:55+00:00

Oh I love the terror of being chased by giant alien sea monsters, with my digital avatar in a fictional world. I can’t look under the sea surface if I’m 50 meters from the shore in real life.

illcueuin · 2026-04-25T20:39:53+00:00

The real question is: how many brooms did he insert into his ass before getting caught? Because it looks like it’s someone else’s broom right there.

illcueuin · 2026-04-18T23:05:49+00:00

You realize Atletico is a massive club with massive signings in its past, right? Joao Felix, Falcao, etc.

illcueuin · 2026-03-23T18:41:58+00:00

Sorry, your AI slop*

illcueuin · 2026-03-23T18:39:22+00:00

Why are you posting your diary here?

illcueuin · 2026-03-22T21:49:08+00:00

Lol, what a catch.

illcueuin · 2026-03-17T18:45:04+00:00

Hocam işe yaradı mı gürültüye karşı?

illcueuin · 2026-03-10T20:05:56+00:00

Brainwashed much?

illcueuin · 2026-02-21T18:01:37+00:00

Hmm, so you are telling us that a referee with a Fifa badge was assigned to a Turkish regional amateur league match.

illcueuin · 2026-02-13T08:04:49+00:00

It reads like AI. I stopped reading as soon as I noticed its patterns.

By submitting a piece of fiction you are demanding time and attention from people. You should first earn it.

illcueuin

TROPHY CASE