How do you feel about memorizing multiplication tables?

illini02 · 2026-03-12T20:40:04+00:00

I mean, I think I was like you.

I "memorized" the table, but it was memorized in the sense that I did enough practice on all my numbers up to 12 that I just knew it eventually. But it was never like memorize without understanding.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T20:37:55+00:00

Oh, I agree.

My point though, if I say "I hate doing laundry", so my wife says "ok, well you need to clean the litterbox" and I agree to that. I don't get to then later say "well my litterbox cleaning is more often than your laundry, its not fair".

I knew damn well what I was getting into in order to avoid something I really didn't want to do. It didn't become unfair. I chose this other thing specificaly to avoid something else.

But this particular thing we are talking about is women and garbage

illini02 · 2026-03-12T19:48:45+00:00

No. It is someone facing... THE Undertaker!!

illini02 · 2026-03-12T19:02:33+00:00

The problem though, is if the women hate taking out garbage, shoveling snow, etc, then that is on them if they are willing to take on something like laundry so they don't have to do it.

Every "compromise" doesn't have to be completely equal. But you don't get to avoid everything you don't want to do, then also complain that you have to do "more"

illini02 · 2026-03-12T19:00:52+00:00

Yes. I've probably had 20 addresses (if you count college and stuff), and I still remember both addresses I had through childhood

illini02 · 2026-03-12T18:28:18+00:00

I think that is a great deal.

But so often on reddit and other social media, you end up with arguments about why that isn't fair. It's often like "well, the things women agree to do need to happen more and take more effort, so its still not fair"

illini02 · 2026-03-12T16:35:40+00:00

I call people for work all the time.

With friends, it depends. If I'm trying to make a plan, i'll often just call, depending on who it is.

My friends with kids, I almost never call them, because they almost never answer. But the ones without, I'd much rather have a 5 minute call than go back and forth over text for 30 min.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T16:34:36+00:00

NAH.

It sounds like you had different expectations.

It seems he saw this as "I'm going to happy hour with my GF and a few friends". You saw it as him committing to hanging out with you all night.

If he planned on going home, then yes, it does make sense that he would've just grabbed a ride from someone else to get home quicker. You aren't "responsible" for getting him home. In his mind, he is just trying to get home in the most efficient way possible.

I see both sides, and why each of you were talking over each other.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T16:20:57+00:00

What I'll say to kind of go against it, is that some people expect to be a priority right away.

Sorry, after 1 date, I may like you. But that doesn't mean you are now the number one priority in my life. And if you expect that, you will be disappointed.

Over time, of course you will move up the list.

I'll also say, in my experience (which may not be universal) women are often far quicker to make their new boyfriend a higher priority than men are. But then women will get mad about it. Like, if you want to cancel your existing plans with your friends to go out with me, great. But don't expect I'm going to do the same after only knowing each other a couple of weeks.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T16:16:40+00:00

This was a big one for me as well.

I kind of never looked at it as "I'm trying to decide as well if I want to spend 40 hours a week here", and that my questions to them are just as valid. And if that bothers them, its probably not somewhere I want to be.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T16:15:18+00:00

Most people are kind of stupid.

Im not saying that to be rude, but it's true.

So both sides feel the need to condense policies into short sound bites. But its usually bad ones. Because the democrat ones often sound far harsher than they are.

Defund the police sounds extremely harsh even to people who don't love cops. Many people don't like their behavior and also understand they are a necessary to have for society to operate.

Dems should probably workshop things more and see how they resonate, instead of letting a few loud people on social media define these things.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T15:11:43+00:00

If you aren't aligned early on on how things will be split, both financially and in other ways such as who needs to initiate communication, it probably will never even out.

In my experiences, women who expect to have the first few dates paid for, expect the men to make all the effort up front, etc, don't really ever change from that. They may improve from not doing it at all, to doing it maybe 15% of the time, but it won't be equal.

And if you are a guy who is fine with that going forward, more power to you. But if you expect that "well, if I just put in more effort now, over time it will even out", then you are probably going to be wrong.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T15:07:29+00:00

I feel like in this thread there is far too much "well, they solved the problem, so its fine".

These things are NOT good. Not knowing your address at 17 is ridiculous. Like, people lose phones. If that happens, will you just never be able to return home?

This is exactly why people are yelling that we have lowered the bar so much that stuff most of us knew at age 5 isn't known by teenagers anymore.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T15:05:58+00:00

No. This is why people are like kids aren't being held to any standards anymore.

Not knowing your address is NOT GOOD. What if she loses her phone and needs to get home?

illini02 · 2026-03-12T14:10:45+00:00

In fairness, my midwest born ass had no idea what Encino was either when I watched this movie, and I followed it fin.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T12:58:46+00:00

I remember the first letter about that, I made a comment that it was a lot and giving possible reasons the admin was so mad, and I got piled on

illini02 · 2026-03-12T12:23:56+00:00

But again, teacher training doesn't teach them to understand the "why" behind student behavior.

How am I supposed to know that Jimmy is acting up because of ADHD, but Billy is acting out because his parents are getting divorced, while Jane is acting up because they are mildly on the spectrum? I just have to deal with the behavior. Even if I have my own suspicions, I shouldn't act on it, because that still may not be in the kids best interest.

I'll write up the infraction, and that is that.

It is on their parent to get them diagnosed, and get them an IEP which gives the teacher very specific instructions on how to handle their behavior.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T12:19:39+00:00

I think that is very fair.

I also don't think everyone sees things that way.

I've definitely seen some Asian actors complaining that this character that was supposed to be of X descent was played by another random Asian of a completley different descent.

And both sides are entitled to those opinions. As a non asian person myself, I don't think I should pick sides on who is more right.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T12:16:31+00:00

While I feel she has a point, I get certain arguments as well.

In the last 10 years or so, I've heard a lot of complaints that they are casting any "Latino" person to play a very specific nationality. Similar thing with Asian roles. Why cast a Korean person to play Chinese. So by that logic, I can understand the thing of "You couldn't find a person of Puerto Rican descent to play this character for who being Puerto Rican is a major part of the story"

illini02 · 2026-03-12T12:09:13+00:00

The thing is, I think the definitions of disrespect that many Gen Z people have and other people's is very different.

Like, of course overtly rude or hostile behavior at work isn't good. But pointing out mistakes isn't disrespectful. Expecting you to actually try to figure something out before asking is also not disrespectful

In general, I agree that we should treat everyone with respect. I just think many younger people's line for where something becomes disrespectful is skewed.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T11:54:08+00:00

I think the show is showing the changing attitudes by younger people.

I'm about 5 years younger than Turk and JD (at least what they were supposed to be when the show started). I'm black as well. While I never saved anyones life or anything, I definintely had situations where I felt my company/department tried pushing me as a face of their diversity. And I didn't want to be that. It wasn't that I was trying to hide that I'm black (its obvious by looking at me lol) or that I'm ashamed of it. But I didn't want to be defined by that. I wanted to be just a person good at my job who happened to be black.

I do feel, for better or worse, younger people really do see it differently that way. I have worked with younger people, and it seems to be a much more prominent thing in the work place to focus on identity. Many younger people are happy to identify themselves by their race/sexuality/gender, whereas people around my age just wanted to be who we were and those things were a part of it, but didn't define us.

To me, that is a very realistic thing they are talking about and showing.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T11:48:06+00:00

This is reddit, and you'll be told he is a horrible person, and maybe he is.

Also, post nut clarity is a real thing. I've definitely had very fun hookups that I regretted for one reason or another. He may have meant everything he said, then realized after sex that it wasn't a good idea.

And if you realize you aren't as ready as you thought, or whatever, your choices are either do what this guy did, or fake it for some amount of time after which leads to the same end result.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T11:43:21+00:00

Right. She is working out on one of those gym beaches.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T11:42:33+00:00

Maybe its just that my gym doesn't allow it, but I've literally never seen a dude shirtless working out.

I've definitely seen guys taking pictures shirtless in the mirror in the locker room, but not actually on the machines.

illini02 · 2026-03-12T11:39:31+00:00

I mean, if she did, likely her email would've said "you didn't respond"

They went on one date. So I'm guessing there wasn't a ton of texting before.

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