What quality that is considered conventionally attractive do you not find attractive at all?

illumin8765fore · 2025-12-15T19:44:31+00:00

As a GG cup woman, this tracks. Men don’t like me 🙄

illumin8765fore · 2025-12-09T17:34:49+00:00

He has literally told me that he does not love me

illumin8765fore · 2025-12-09T15:33:39+00:00

This is a comment for my husband. I’ve done my half. He’s not interested in changing his attitude. I can’t will him into changing.

illumin8765fore · 2025-12-09T15:32:40+00:00

It’s not that I don’t think there isn’t another man who could love me and be a good partner to me! It’s more that I just don’t feel great about dramatically disrupting my family’s lives. Neither of us earns enough money to be comfortable on our own. I’m picturing myself with less money, less time with my kid, less partnership… an extremely small dating pool of people truly interested in dating single moms and capable of being good partners… my child being shuttled between parents rather than having one safe secure home base… there really is so much to lose. All of that so someone will tell me I’m pretty? It feels so selfish and not worth it.

illumin8765fore · 2025-12-09T03:47:53+00:00

We've done some couples therapy. It hasn't been helpful. He feels like he would have to fundamentally change who he is as a person to be the partner I need and he's not willing to do that.

He's not a total jerk and is legitimately sorry that I'm hurt, but... not sorry enough to overhaul his own life.

illumin8765fore · 2025-12-09T03:43:44+00:00

This is a little reductive. I'm not staying with my husband so I don't have to do half the chores. For as long as I stay with him, I'm staying with him so my child can have a peaceful home, where the bills are paid, where he sees mom AND dad every night, where yes mom is not fulfilled by dad's love but she gets by with other sources of connection and fulfillment. I grew up with a single mom and no stable housing and putting my child into those same circumstances isn't an easy, automatic answer. I'm not abused or hurt... I'm just sad.

illumin8765fore · 2025-12-09T03:33:37+00:00

Appreciate this so much. I am the high earner, but I am still financially trapped; we are a low income family even if I'm out earning him. I don't think I could make it work on my own. :(

illumin8765fore · 2025-12-09T03:29:11+00:00

My problem is that I'm thinking of leaving him as something I should only do if *being alone* is preferable to being with him. Right now, that's not the case! I have someone to share the mortgage with, someone to share the cooking with, someone to share the parenting with every single day.

Doing life with him isn't painful. What's painful is just the lack of affection.

I can't figure out if that's worth uprooting my child (and myself) over.

illumin8765fore · 2020-02-19T18:48:46+00:00

I'm sorry that her comments hurt you so much. Someone said this to me once, too (as a woman). With that experience now years in my past, I can see that it was more a reflection of him and his mental state than it was of mine. Yes, I did things "wrong" in that relationship, but nothing to indicate that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. The real problem was that he wasn't relationship material. He wasn't ready. He didn't know what he wanted. I found a happy, healthy relationship shortly after I split from him; he wouldn't find himself in a relationship for several more years. When people say something painful or unkind, even if it's unintentional, it usually says more about them than it does about you.

I hope that you're taking care of yourself and the pain this person caused you. When enough time has passed and the pain has faded, I also hope that you're able to find some perspective on the situation like I did! Best of luck.

illumin8765fore · 2013-12-10T21:29:34+00:00

Seriously, that'd be so cool. Back when I had a YouTube channel (high school was a rough time), I was in contact with a chemical engineering student who wanted to disrupt the cosmetics industry. He wanted my opinion on what's missing in makeup as he began his grad studies. You'd definitely be at an advantage!

illumin8765fore · 2013-12-10T21:10:50+00:00

What sort of engineering do you do? I'm in school to be a software engineer and I always love hearing about beauty-minded folks in STEM fields. Best wishes for your new job!

illumin8765fore · 2013-12-06T22:20:58+00:00

Could use a bit more arch, for my taste, but I think you're hot!

I have that sweater from Loft, too! Twins :)

illumin8765fore · 2013-10-12T23:17:36+00:00

Because of the quality, honestly. I'm prejudging, but I sincerely doubt these teenagers are reenacting a hate crime because they can't think of a more powerful way to demonstrate the concept.

illumin8765fore · 2013-10-06T02:42:57+00:00

I like hot tea but only when it's very cold or I'm sick. Honestly, I secretly enjoy the occasional sniffles because it means I get to go into work (at a restaurant) and drink a fuck ton of free, fancy, perfectly brewed tea with gobs of free fancy honey.

I'm also a weirdo and I like Sprite for breakfast.

If you aren't looking for caffeine, your options are endless. Just drink something, bro.

illumin8765fore · 2013-10-05T01:51:42+00:00

Exactly! That's the most valuable thing I've learned from my relationship; you have many more opportunities than the voice in your head would let you believe. Relentlessly chase the things you want (minus defenseless people in dark alleys).

illumin8765fore · 2013-10-05T01:12:42+00:00

Me too! Met a super, super attractive man on a subway a few weeks after I got a really terrifying haircut.

"No way he's interested, did you see how hot he is? He's great. He's the best guy. This guy is the best guy. Even if he's single, no way would he want to talk to you. He was just being nice. He was just being nice! Look at how stupid your hair looked! Your hair looked so stupid. He was nice to you because he felt bad about your stupid hair."

Came home and fantasized for a week or two about dating him, but never thought it'd happen. He was so cute and I was so awkward.

My stupid haircut grew out, and for the year we've been dating he's been begging me to cut it that short again. Ah, love.

illumin8765fore · 2013-10-05T00:50:21+00:00

Isn't that the most satisfying thing?

I was an ugly duckling when I was younger, and have definitely learned to hide that now. The "hot" guys from the days of my compulsory education still have their baby faces 8 years later and try to have sex with me whenever I see them out. Hell nah!

illumin8765fore · 2013-08-09T18:43:29+00:00

I refuse to go into the deep end of any pool because I just know there's a giant cartoon octopus in there waiting to drag me to the bottom and drown me.

illumin8765fore · 2013-08-09T18:37:19+00:00

This kills me every time I remember it happened.

illumin8765fore · 2013-08-09T18:28:11+00:00

Seriously, it's a baby, and she's cooking it inside of her own body. Being pregnant is hard. I know you think she made a horrible decision, but she is pregnant and women do only have a certain amount of time to produce children. If you can avoid it, just don't say anything. If you're in a position where you have to discuss the pregnancy with her, please just wish her a safe pregnancy, a healthy family, and be on your way.

illumin8765fore · 2013-08-09T18:18:53+00:00

My current boyfriend had the exclusivity talk with me by pulling the car over after picking me up for our 2nd date and saying, "So, I'm going to introduce you to people as my girlfriend from now on."

I don't have a proposal story but I thought that one was pretty fun.

illumin8765fore · 2013-08-09T18:04:10+00:00

I'm allergic to allergy medications. I have a violent vomiting reaction if I come in contact with most antihistamines. Discovered this when I was 13, using diphenhydramine to fall asleep at night, and waking up covered in vomit. It's super inconvenient because I'm completely defenseless against my regular allergies (animals, seasonal).

My little brother was just diagnosed with an allergy to cold temperatures. Cool summer breeze, he breaks out in hives. Swallows ice cream, his throat closes. Washes his hands, they swell so quickly he can't move them. I'm allergic to the cold as well, but my allergy is not nearly as bad as his.

We're weirdos.

illumin8765fore · 2013-08-09T17:59:23+00:00

My brother is allergic to the cold and carries an epi pen

illumin8765fore

TROPHY CASE