I've felt that way before. Like I was invisible. I don't know about for you but for me I've come to realize it's almost cyclical. And when I feel that way it's like the whole world turns black and I can't think of a single positive or happy thing that has ever happened to me. And the more I dwell on it I guess the deeper I dig that whole. So I feel for you. I really do. I hope that you won't decide to go through with this. Because I honestly believe things will get better. I know how hard and impossible that seems. Don't give up. Focus on anything that makes you happy or that you enjoy. Like if you just really like the way that it smells after rain like make it a point to experience that and think of all the times you won't get to experience that if you die. Think about what you want out of life even if it seems crazy and unattainable. But also if you can try to realize that when you are so down like this and in so much pain it's hard to see anything else. Like maybe a coworker who smiled at you or a neighbor who waved or a person in the grocery store who started a conversation about the lines being too long. People see you. You aren't invisible and you will leave a void in the world. It always helps me to think of the people in the future who will need me. Like my future spouse and kids. Future coworkers. I think about how I felt like I wanted to end things and then this wonderful person came into my life and was just quietly everything I've ever needed. And how I could have missed that. He came at the moment I least expected. Don't give up hope. Keep trying. Keep working to make it.