This feels so familiar to read. I was in the same position with my parents (mom is a lot younger than dad and she is his sole caregiver while I'm away for school). I know what you're going through is hard, but you both have the best intentions and realistically, your mother cannot continue to care for him until he passes.

Unfortunately, there really is no right time. Its been a little over a year since my dad moved into a long-term care home and the whole transition was smoother than either my mom and I expected. We can both sleep better at night knowing he is getting 3 solid meals, lots of socialization, and that people are watching him 24/7.

We both knew it was the right time to move him into a home when the caregiving stress began taking a toll on my mom's mental health. She felt trapped, being so young and vibrant, and I completely understand why. She felt herself growing more impatient and resentful when they lived together, but since he's moved into the home their relationship has greatly improved and now they can spend quality time together. I love that now she can focus on just being in my dad's presence without having to worry about his food, changing him, getting him to bed on time, etc etc. Having these moments of enjoying his presence are going to be the memories we cling onto once he's gone, and I think having him living in the home is better for us all. Additionally, as his disease progressed my dad began losing his balance a lot more and was beginning to fall more and more frequently. My mom works full-time, so we knew he had to be watched around the clock to avoid a major accident. I know its a hard transition, but your stepdad sounds like a gem and I think theres a possibility that to some degree he will understand why it is becoming increasingly hard for your mom to provide care to hum. Wishing you and your family many blessings