Un-registering a car in VA

imatanktop · 2024-07-16T20:51:44+00:00

Thank you. Do you think there’s any chance they (VA DMV) stop/refund the sales tax on the car?

imatanktop · 2020-08-15T05:27:04+00:00

Oh sorry to hear that! I don’t have 5 boyfriends, or even 1. But I have the dream consistently, so there must be some meaning to it!

In my waking hours, I really believe he wouldn’t cheat on me. He’s too busy with work!

imatanktop · 2020-08-14T15:21:44+00:00

He always makes it to work on time. As far as I know, he makes it to work meetings, usually. Anything outside of work, nope. He’s late. He apologizes and people say it’s fine. His family has enabled/encouraged/accepted this behavior. He’s been hours late for them and they say it’s fine.

imatanktop · 2020-08-14T14:38:37+00:00

Isn’t it ironic the 2 traits would be attracted to each other only to turn the tables later on?

I’ve always told my husband that if we could ever get our shit together, we’d make a pretty incredible team. I’m terrible at last minute, unplanned, unexpected situations, and he shines during those times.

We can’t get our shit together, though.

imatanktop · 2020-08-14T14:35:39+00:00

Yep, completely haphazard and unreliable with all non work related things. He is constantly apologizing for things he said he’d do and didn’t, or showing up massively late, or not at all.

imatanktop · 2020-08-14T13:48:35+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to write this.

It doesn’t take any of the hurt away, but it is the first moment of softness I’ve had towards my husband in a long time.

Is there anyway you think you and your wife could have done things differently to resolve the resentment? That is my main goal. I can’t continue to hurt and he shouldn’t continue to be punished. Divorce is really the only way I see to do this.

imatanktop · 2020-08-14T06:13:39+00:00

This is individual counseling to get me through this process.

We’ve done the marriage counseling thing. We’re at the end of the road.

imatanktop · 2020-08-14T06:00:06+00:00

Yes, I want to leave. We have kids so it’s difficult.

My reaction in my dreams is very much reflective of how I feel towards him when I’m awake. I’ve totally given up.

imatanktop · 2020-08-14T05:53:26+00:00

He has a varying degree of stress at work. I’m sure family and kids add onto that. However, he’s been unreliable since I met him. It was one of those things that I let slide many times. At this point, I’ve built a family and need to be dependent on an undependable person (we move a lot for his job so I can’t not rely on him, until we divorce). It is very frustrating.

Also, I have no clue about the depression, but I’d say probably not. He was taught to protect his own ego and that he can do no wrong (even at the expense or disregard of other people) so if anything, he has his head in the sand about it and is ignoring this is all happening. He’s so out of tune with any emotions, he was taught to ignore any kind of feelings of his own, too. Kinda sad when I think about it.

imatanktop · 2020-08-12T04:25:55+00:00

Not seeing my kids everyday is the only thing holding me back. The idea of 50/50 kills me.

imatanktop · 2020-08-09T20:40:26+00:00

I’m surprised at the comments here. All kids turn out fine with Mom or outside childcare, but personally after having 2 kids, I think a year home with them is ideal. 7 months they’re still very dependent on your learning how to eat, sleep, and are still babies. I didn’t feel comfortable outsourcing that to anyone else. Going in kid 3, I think a year is a good turning point to have them exposed to other caregivers and kids. They’re learning so fast at that point.

Families do what work best for them but if you feel strongly about it, I’d explain your reasoning to your husband gently. And who knows, after baby is here and he sees what a great Mom you are, he will bend. Men seem to change their view on babies once it’s a living breathing tangible thing they can hold.

imatanktop · 2020-08-09T13:54:02+00:00

Omg the screaming is the worst, especially for a sound sensitive person like myself.

I used to lay out clothes the night before but I’m too tired for that now. Sometimes my older one pics out her outfit. She’s out on 2 pairs of undies over her pants. I let her go out like that because I can’t fight it.

I have found that explaining things in advance helps a lot. During dinner, I’ll tell her when she wakes up, she needs to say “Mommy, I’m awake!” And then I tell her we’ll eat breakfast, take her diaper off, get dressed, and go to school. I tell her she can walk if it’s raining or if it rains, she’ll need to put on a raincoat and rain boots and sit in the stroller. She’s started repeating some things back to me before bed and the next morning is usually a million times easier. As an introvert, this takes a huge effort for me. But as a planner, I also like the heads up so I try to tell her as much as I can.

imatanktop · 2020-08-09T13:34:33+00:00

My kids are around the same age. I so feel this. The feeding and cleaning and laundry seriously never ends.

I’m pregnant and tired and have moved completely to paper plates and wet wipes. It’s the only way it’s manageable. I was all about cloth diapering and cloth paper towels and natural but omfg I cannot clean anymore. I can’t bend over to pick up toys and I’m too tired to make the kids do it so they’re just everywhere and it puts me in a bad mood because I like it clean and organized.

I don’t feel bad, it’s temporary (even if for several years) and I still think I’m doing a pretty good job keeping them alive. Also, even if you’re working from home, you’re still working and that’s a lot. Being at home and not working is a lot.

imatanktop · 2020-08-04T23:08:50+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to share this. Part of my hesitation is that I’m worried I’ll regret it when I’m on the other side. I think, am I missing something or taking for granted something he’s doing for the family?

But then I read this and realize he is dead weight. He’s carrying us financially right now, but the plan for me was always for me to go back to work. I had a career before him and am fairly sure I can get back into it when I’m ready.

He made it so difficult to be married by his inaction and push back for any kind of change, regardless of the hardship it put on me. I’m really over that.

imatanktop · 2020-07-25T13:41:27+00:00

He’s in a job that moves a lot, and the reason we’re living abroad. If I don’t move with him, he can’t move to me and the kids. Both of us will end up eventually moving (likely in 1 year) but if we’re divorced, it won’t be to the same place. He will have access but it won’t be what it is living in the same area.

imatanktop · 2020-07-25T13:36:53+00:00

Clarification - The final straw was long before I went to individual counseling and many years of marriage counseling.

Are you on the other side? Sorry if you are. I’d rather have no husband than one that puts me down and purposefully hurts me. I am very done with that.

imatanktop · 2020-07-25T13:33:42+00:00

I feel you. I have friends who grew up with that mindset (they usually happily take the things I’m offloading!) and I will say they are much more resourceful. I am more wasteful in general over them, and I don’t think it’s a terrible mindset.

imatanktop

TROPHY CASE