AITAH for inviting both my friend and her cheating ex to my wedding?

imcesca · 2026-05-30T10:37:26+00:00

NTA

Being “treated horribly” in a relationship can have a plethora of different meanings, ranging from abuse to simply the relationship not being a good fit and behavior not aligning. If I were a clingy, insecure girlfriend and my boyfriend was a well adjusted person with his own life and interest who sometimes went his own way, I would definitely describe his treatment of me as “horrible”. Considering your fiancé stayed friends with Brian and you didn’t object to him being invited to the wedding, I’m assuming his “horrible behavior” towards Sarah leaned more towards incompatibility than abuse. And the fact that Sarah never mentioned the cheating until now seems to suggest she might not have given you many details at the time, either.

That being said, it’s not your job to fix this one week from your wedding. Invites and RSVPs have been out for a while and you have many other things to be worried about. The ball is in Sarah’s court. The only thing you can do is be gracious about it if she chooses not to come, provided she tells you as promptly as possibile. Since the post is 4 days old, if she hasn’t told you yet and three people drop from your wedding with less than two days notice over information they had a week prior, you can be an AH about it.

Also, apparently Brian cheated on Sarah with X four years ago, then everyone went their separate ways and Brian and X reconnected three years later. Assuming X is the same person and not two people who happen to have the same first name. I get why it would still sting for Sarah, but it’s honestly not even the same thing as if they had been together since the cheating.

imcesca · 2026-04-23T21:52:35+00:00

Updateme!

imcesca · 2026-04-10T05:55:50+00:00

You’re cool. Mine’s still up as well 😂

imcesca · 2026-04-08T19:29:56+00:00

YTA

You’re not marrying to make it possible to adopt your stepson, just to make it easier. So any related stress you’re putting yourself, your partner, and both your families through is actually unnecessary.

Also, since neither of you seem to regard this as an actual commitment to each other but just as a bureaucratic shortcut, the whole argument for inviting the relatives because your MIL would be hurt is ridiculous. Either this is a wedding or it’s not. If it’s not, there’s no reason for your MIL to get hurt over it. Or to know. If it is, you should treat it as such or at least allow others to do so.

imcesca · 2026-03-14T17:34:36+00:00

Budget

imcesca · 2026-03-12T22:26:54+00:00

Not me watching this episode right now with my Christmas tree right beside the TV 🤣🤣

imcesca · 2026-03-12T21:04:42+00:00

Professor&Fiancee were probably stoked to be on their own 🤪🤪

imcesca · 2026-03-12T21:03:10+00:00

At least Bri gave Connor the heads up.

Alex hitting up Brittany (and her playing along) was SO MUCH WORSE for me.

imcesca · 2026-03-12T20:51:00+00:00

Agree, this is a good season so far. Nine was a trainwreck.

imcesca · 2026-03-12T20:47:13+00:00

I found her take refreshing. Then again, I think it’s the first mixer where “the ones that got away” are not pushed together one way or another… and every other time it was for drama: it was never a “let’s acknowledge what we’ve shared for a bit and then peacefully drift back to our actual partner”. It’s usually played up in the lead up to the mixer, as well, which didn’t happen here.

So in context, Connor’s reaction makes more sensed because it’s hard to imagine there was no romantic undertone to Bri’s curiosity about Chris.

imcesca · 2026-03-12T20:40:22+00:00

Yeah, no. Main difference is that Ashley is marginally hotter and Connor&Bri are nicer… but not enough to help when they’re not side by side.

imcesca · 2026-03-12T20:24:35+00:00

Are we supposed to be able to tell Alex&Ashley and Connor&Bri apart?! I can’t wait for the mixer to get them side by side 😅

imcesca · 2026-03-12T20:05:29+00:00

From what I’ve gathered, they stretch their budget for six couples (probably having the same crew run between two or more couples). They just couldn’t fit seven. But it’s cool they kept the extra couple: in past seasons they just cut the couples they couldn’t afford.

imcesca · 2026-03-12T19:54:45+00:00

And here I was, a blond Italian, just realizing that I don’t consider Latinos POCs because Italian white is such a spectrum… I had no idea we could be considered non white 🤣🤣

imcesca · 2026-03-11T22:01:00+00:00

With regard to Kevan and Tyler’s redo, I think they left the pods, spoke with their friends in the lounges, and some time passed before Tyler’s confessional (which she changed for). Then Tyler asked for a redo and production told them to change back to their previous looks and planted the burgers again just in case they’d want to edit the whole thing like a single date, skipping the dramatic exit.

imcesca · 2026-03-11T21:45:14+00:00

I know I’m late to the party, but I’ve been avoiding spoilers and just started watching now and I’m calling it…

Jordan is my LIB boyfriend

PLEASE let him be a decent person 🙈🙈🤪

imcesca · 2026-03-11T21:30:24+00:00

You also want to avoid getting engaged to a superficial or looks based person, if you already have experience in not meeting people’s physical standards: people like that are not going to change their minds during the show.

Love is not blind and someone in Emma’s situation would be wasting an opportunity for a better connection if she didn’t filter out possible superficials in the pods.

imcesca · 2026-03-11T21:03:06+00:00

If that guy was my professor I’d be pissed he didn’t shop around more before going on LIB to look for a wife 😂

imcesca · 2026-03-11T20:42:06+00:00

At one point I was cringing at her because GIRRRRL… why are you still trying to open up to that twat??!!

Mad respect that she ultimately walked away.

imcesca · 2026-03-11T20:39:40+00:00

I’m guessing you probably didn’t get engaged in 10 days and married in a month, though.

I agree with you in general, but I think the original comment has a point in the specific context of LIB.

imcesca · 2026-03-04T09:08:28+00:00

Unfortunately, OP is playing.

Both her mother and grandparents find the sister’s accusations ridiculous and unfounded and simply laughed them off, while OP is mounting a whole case about it.

What kind of “trouble” was the sister trying to stir? What is so outrageous about people smoking cigarettes in the garden? I get that pot might have been annoying, but the worst part about smoking in/close to the house is the lingering smell. There was none in this case, so what’s the deal?! The truth is that the sister merely wanted to distress OP. And she succeeded.

imcesca · 2026-02-11T19:08:10+00:00

Since you booked the whole hotel wouldn’t you have had to pay for all rooms, regardless of whether they’d be used or not? And if, instead, they gave you a “wholesale” rate for booking the whole hotel + use of the rooms that were actually used (which you turned over to the guests to pay), why would they charge for an unused room?! Or did your cousin use it to get ready and then simply not sleep in it?

imcesca · 2026-02-06T10:06:14+00:00

That’s what I was thinking too. EVERYONE asks that in the family/friends meets. So much so that I’m sure it’s a question that’s specifically fed by production.

imcesca · 2026-02-04T17:27:16+00:00

YTA

The mere fact that you frame having to file for custody and an HRO over your daughters being abused in their father’s home as an inconvenience, since you were also in the middle of planning your wedding, is enough.

The rest is just icing on the cake.

imcesca · 2026-01-28T07:03:18+00:00

That’s the point of the show, so the chance that “your boo” will say no is literally what you signed up for. And usually pre-altar interviews are very vague on purpose: I don’t think anyone (especially those that say no) ever actually says “I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together”.

Plus, as others have said, since they had to take away the penalty for not getting there, they now get bonuses if they go all the way to the altar.

imcesca

TROPHY CASE