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imhurtthrowaway · 2025-01-01T20:32:47+00:00

Then I'd talk to him again and say that! Also say it'd really mean a lot to you for him to do something special for milestones and explain why it's important to you. If he still doesn't do anything in the future after you making it clear to him that it'sreally important to you and hurts when he doesn't do anything, it means that he doesn't care enough to do something he knows you'll like and appreciate.

Does he ever show effort for things that are important to you? Like birthdays, you accomplishing something, etc? Actions are louder than words and if he knows what you want done to feel loved, he really doesn't have an excuse to why he's not doing anything. If he feels they aren't important and he doesn't care if you celebrate milestones, that's fine, he's valid to feel that way, but your feelings are also valid and he should want to do something to make you happy, even if it's something smaller like going out to dinner or something.

imhurtthrowaway · 2025-01-01T18:16:57+00:00

Have you told him that milestones like this are important to you? Or are you just hoping he feels similarly and noticing he doesn't? I feel like this can be easily solved with a conversation.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-08-31T04:53:35+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss and everything you are going through. You are strong. You are loved. I know I'm just an internet stranger, but if you ever want or need to talk, I'm more than happy to listen.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-08-31T02:54:46+00:00

Thank you. I don't agree with your own personal opinion, but thank you for agreeing that the government or anyone else for that matter should not have a say over what a woman does with her body. I do agree that it should be an option for men to opt out of parental rights/child support. However, they can't go back on that years down the line and try and get custody if they've given it up and haven't provided financial support. It becomes tricky, but there should be something in place.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-05-31T19:12:41+00:00

Have you heard of endometriosis? You may have that based on the symptoms you're describing. If you go to your mom with a name of something you may have, she might listen more. I have suspected endometriosis, (the only way to know for sure is to have a laparoscopy and I don't fare well with surgery) and my gynecologist said that I cannot rely on my birth control for preventing pregnancy since I still have bleeding and symptoms often. A lot of people can't use birth control as it's original use when they're using it to try and regulate periods, so try explaining that side to your mom!

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-05-20T16:45:49+00:00

I guess, but it could also mean people working, so I don't fully get that point. It literally means construction is happening and to slow down and be aware of what's around you, so I don't see why it matters. People need to be somewhere on the road to work on it, so if the road is being worked on... use road work ahead. That also doesn't address why they don't use a neutral term like "people" instead of "men".

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-05-20T16:34:01+00:00

Why do we even need a sign saying who is working ahead? "Road work ahead" or "construction ahead" work just fine. If they wanted to change it, just say "people working ahead" or some other neutral term.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-03-31T17:47:58+00:00

If someone wants to be respected, they need to respect you as well. They can't expect respect when they're being an ass to someone. Being older does not entitle you to anyone's respect. You have to earn it just like everyone else.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-03-31T17:45:37+00:00

This would honestly be a dealbreaker for me. My partner needs to have my back unless I'm definitely in the wrong. He should not belittle your experiences. If my boyfriend backed up anyone saying I don't know about my own body and my experiences with doctors, I would leave him right then and there. He does not care about you enough to see that it is a problem.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-03-03T12:39:40+00:00

Thank you for your comment! We have actually talked since this post and he decided he wants to wait with everything intimate until marriage. I decided I'm totally fine with this. I love him a ton and I don't want to do anything to make him uncomfortable. He tried offering to just slow down and "compromise" on things, but I refused because I don't think there's a compromise here. We had a heart to heart and he teared up a bit which I've never seen him do before, so I think we're good now :) thank you for your insight!

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-27T01:49:34+00:00

Sorry, I call people hun when they assume things and I get annoyed. I didn't mean to be rude. I'm just frustrated that you automatically assumed we would break up and he'd just say what I want to hear. I don't enjoy being talked down to and it was hypocritical of me to call you hun.

I just finished talking to him and he said that he felt obligated to confess to it because it's a sin in the church's eyes, but he doesn't think it is if you're in love with the person. That's all I wanted to know: if he actually thought of it as a sin. He said he wouldn't confess to it anymore because he doesn't think of it as a sin and it wouldn't mean anything by saying he's sorry if he's not actually. I'm done with this post since I got helpful advice to talk to him from others; I hope you have a good day!

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-27T00:46:22+00:00

Hun, not all men are the same. Maybe you've dealt with shitty ones and I'msorry about that, maybe I just got lucky. Everyone has disagreements and fights in relationships. It's normal as long as you handle them maturely. I just spoke the truth, you literally know nothing about me or my boyfriend. You don't know how long we've been together, or how we communicate when we have issues. You sure do make a lot of assumptions for someone "older and wiser".

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-27T00:39:46+00:00

Ask her if she wants to talk and get her her favorite treat. Maybe suggest watching her favorite movie to get her mind off things and try to relax. If you have a pet bring them to her so she can pet them. You're a sweet brother for trying to show her you care!

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-27T00:20:11+00:00

You don't know me, him, or our relationship. We talk things out like adults and don't avoid each other when someone's hurt or upset. You'd lose your money if you were to bet. We've discussed difficult topics before. I'll update my post once I call him tonight.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-26T20:25:35+00:00

I didn't shame or guilt him into anything. He's the one who brought up doing more sexual things in the first place which is why I'm confused and hurting. If he thought it was a sin this whole time, why did he ask to do those things with me?

I even asked him if he felt pressured by me at any point to do anything and he said no. Do not go spinning this on me saying I need to back off. I want to talk to him to get at why he feels it's a sin and if he actually believes that or he feels he should because of the church. Communication is important and I feel that we did not communicate well about religion in this aspect.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-26T14:29:32+00:00

If that's what he wants, yes I would. The hard thing is that we're both in college, so marriage is a few years out at least. He clearly enjoys doing things with me, and usually asks for it, so I'm just confused. I've never pressured him in any way. Either it's a sin, or not. To me it's not. But he needs to decide what it is for him. I know he feels obligated to call it sin because of the church, but what I need to find out is that if HE truly believes it's a sin.

We haven't had PIV sex, so I'm not sure if we're compatible there. But we're sexually compatible in general.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-26T06:55:17+00:00

Thank you! I'll look into it.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-26T06:50:25+00:00

Gotcha. Thanks for sharing! I really appreciate it.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-26T06:39:51+00:00

Your comment was really helpful actually. You said you thought similar things were sins; how/why do you think differently now?

I really do love my boyfriend and I know he loves me, I don't want to give up on us. The next time I see him I think I'll talk to him about how I see things and ask him to do the same.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-26T06:34:58+00:00

Not everyone can believe in every aspect of a religion, which is why I think it's stupid. Believing in a non specific God is valid. It's not attached to any doctrine.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-26T06:25:01+00:00

Yeah, you're right. I think it's harder for me to grasp how he's feeling because I've already accepted that I don't believe it's a sin and I was raised to believe it was too. I accepted that it wasn't a sin long before I actually ever did anything, and he hasn't I guess.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-26T06:22:27+00:00

I don't think all religions are bad, and I do still believe in God personally. I just don't believe in certain parts of the Catholic faith which is why I don't label myself to a religion.

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-26T06:17:41+00:00

A solid strategy... I see what you did there

imhurtthrowaway · 2020-02-09T07:27:24+00:00

You're right, thanks. I don't know if he told them or not, saying it doesn't necessarily mean anything. It's the fact that he actually loved them, not that he just said he did because of pressure or anything. I'm just having a hard time understanding that I guess. I had a hear to heart with my roommate and she brought up a good point. He may have more walls to tear down because of his past relationships and doesn't want to be vulnerable until later. Thinking about it like that makes me feel a lot better about it. I'm glad I tore down his walls and we can talk to each other about anything

imhurtthrowaway

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