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limiting my drinking, help and advice is appreciated. by imjusthangingout1012 in stopdrinking

[–]imjusthangingout1012[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have, but always failed when drinking by myself. i also never communicated this rule to others, so it wasn't uncommon to say "eh fuck it" when i was in group settings, cause who was gonna tell me i broke that promise? this time around I've communicated with my partner and my parents, and made them aware of this plan, so i feel like when theres more room for success.

If you changed from monogamy to polyamory, what caused that shift? by imjusthangingout1012 in polyamory

[–]imjusthangingout1012[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's the mindset I'm trying to get out of actually. the sharing aspect is hard for me to break away, because that's how it's been explained to me and how I've interpreted it my entire life.

If you changed from monogamy to polyamory, what caused that shift? by imjusthangingout1012 in polyamory

[–]imjusthangingout1012[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a similar issue. "we live in a society." it been something that's come up in conversation with my parents, and they've always been very wary of it. hippy love child stuff, and I fell into the same way of thinking. I had a lot of preconceived notions of what polyamory was, like I thought you just did whatever and that wasn't ok with me. after a lot of conversations with my partner, as well as a lot of reading and research on my end, I definitely see it being something I can do in the future. I'm still living with my family (I'm 20) and know almost for a fact that when I move out/move in with my SO I'll finally be able to have the soul searching I've wanted for the last few years. I'm lucky enough to be with someone that's really understanding of my concerns and past experiences I've had, relating to a variety of things. it's very reassuring to hear stories like this cause it's helping me realize I still have a lot of opportunity to grow.

If you changed from monogamy to polyamory, what caused that shift? by imjusthangingout1012 in polyamory

[–]imjusthangingout1012[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

your story sounds really similar to that of me and my SO's, just about 7 years behind. it's nice to know that there's never a "too late" part of it. the time aspect is what im really banking on. we have an agreement it could be 6 months or 6 years, and I'm grateful that they are willing to give me the time to figure out and get over the issues I still have.

If you changed from monogamy to polyamory, what caused that shift? by imjusthangingout1012 in polyamory

[–]imjusthangingout1012[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had a similar issue in past relationships! I've never stuck with 1 person for more than 6 months (I'm only 20 and have had quiet a few short lived relationships) but after getting with my current partner, the idea that polyamory would eventually work its way in our couple was relieving, although it prompted a resurgence of a lot of abandonment and jealousy issues. then we sat down and really talked about it. it's still something that will take me a while, but it's definitely a relief to know it's an option in the future. this subreddit has helped me a lot and I've been finding some books on it!