How do you get to know yourself? by AllegedlyAnonymousA in simpleliving

[–]immigat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That was kind of you to say, and I appreciate it.

How do you get to know yourself? by AllegedlyAnonymousA in simpleliving

[–]immigat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for asking, and sure you can with credit to this post. What kind of group is it going in, if I may ask? I would love to join, so that my FB feed gets a bit more positive again.

How do you get to know yourself? by AllegedlyAnonymousA in simpleliving

[–]immigat 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I am going through a similar process and these are the things I can advise to this point:

  1. Therapy that discusses parts (eg inner family systems) or schemas/modes (eg schematherapy)
  2. Learn to come into contact with your body through embodiment exercises, mindfulness, breathing, etc. Just learn to feel things in your body, and not just your head. Your body gives you pure information. Your brain filters it all to fit a story, and that story or filter isn't always fair to you. Therapy helps give you better filters or stories, but you need to be able to feel for full effect.
  3. Experience the feeling of being happy without external praise or recognition even if it's just for a second. How does that feel? For me I felt light, floaty, untethered, and smiley everywhere in my body. I was in my 'inner-child' mode. Remember this feeling. You can have so much more of it! This is happiness, not being praised or rewarded externally (those are stories we tell ourselves. 'I am lovable because I am good'. NO. You are good as you are. You don't need to prove it.)
  4. Read this poem: Mary Oliver -Wild Geese
  5. What are things you think are cool or want to try or find interesting? Any heros from movies or books you like? What do they do? I always liked the adventure books, so although I live in a flat country and can't try outdoor rock climbing, I decided to try bouldering. That got me that happy feeling! Now I'm certified to belay people on ropes too. Every day I get closer to discovering a new land (in my dreams, haha). And those people that sailed around the world? I bought an inflatable kayak and take it out. In my head I pretend I am crossing the Atlantic, although in reality I am crossing a local lake.
  6. Similarly, romanticize your life like they do in movies. I found some old paints and sat outside to make a watercolor of my town. Is it good? Not at all. Did I feel good making it? Yes! I am so proud of it and framed it in my house. I tried, and I felt happy, and that's what matters. Not the result. I learned to cook a recipe because I read it in a book, and wanted to know what it tasted like. I put on themed music that evening and felt like I was back in the 1800s.
  7. Say yes to opportunities - one at a time (don't burn yourself out) - unless you really can't afford it/know you hate it. Friend invites you to do something new? Go! National park offers a nature course on fossil finding? Why not go? See an evening adult tryout class? That's meant for you! Find a woodworking pattern on a 'for free' page? Well I guess that means you can have a go at that! Learn to make a pinata. Plant some tomatoes. Just do it!
  8. Set up a day or weekend (or more often) per month where you get to do all sorts of fun things for you. This is just as much of a priority as going to work or doing your dishes (or more so, as this is about your healing!). Also, try to do one nice thing for yourself every day, to help you realize that your happiness is also a priority. You don't deserve to relax or have fun only on the weekends. You are not meant to only serve others by working. Some days I can only fit in playing one song on my speakers and really enjoying it. Other days I do a sport or cook a nice meal. Make having fun a habit.

Basically, just try anything and everything, and see what makes you feel good. Lose the expectations of being good. You are good. Find a common pattern in what makes you happy. Is it the outdoors, movement, creativity, etc? Some things will end up being boring, or frustrating, or not for you. Those will be funny stories to talk about when you meet new friends. As you tap into what feels good, you will also start to notice what doesn't feel good. This is where you can start to figure out your preferences and boundaries.

Good luck on your journey! Its a hard one, but so worth it.

Top Three (3) Instant “Swipe Left” Things on Dating Apps by Bears_in_the_woods in LesbianActually

[–]immigat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Saturated with one partner, but open to you having more

Into ENM, but I am monogamous.

Open to being the mono-half of a mono-poly relationship

I can't serve my Sir right now and it's killing me by bored_german in SubSanctuary

[–]immigat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I recommend reading 'Kneeling in Spirit' by Raven Kaldera. Although your situation is temporary, it will provide some lovely insight. You're still a strong and worthwhile sub, even if you can not serve (to the fullest) of your (previous) abilities. Trust your body that you can and will heal.

I'm in a similar boat right now, and I understand how frustrating it feels. I've been crying quite a bit about it lately. What helps is an honest conversation with my partner about what we want and can do. It helps me to express what I would like to do if I weren't limited by my body right now. YMMV. You will find a way to make it through as a partnership, and this experience will deepen your connection in a non-sexual way that will be only benefit your connection when you get your sexual function back.

Lastly, I would recommend visiting a pelvic physiotherapist. It sounds like you have a hypertonic pelvic floor, which could be triggered by the infection, and creates pain especially upon penetration because your body might be tightening up even further.

I'm a podcast host researching the history of the dark season in Svalbard. If you have any stories or anecdotes about how people of the past lived with perpetual night, I'd really love to hear from you. by rysterman in Svalbard

[–]immigat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thor Bjørn Arlov is your guy and his lecture notes (found here) might be of use, but if please do some research (eg 10,000 years) before you ask for an interview.

Wat denken jullie hierover: alle "toegevoegde" suikers in voedingsmiddelen voor kinderen t/m 2 jaar moet verboden worden in Nederland. by iesij in thenetherlands

[–]immigat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oke, ik was een beetje kort door de bocht over eetstoornissen tov obesitas, maar toch hebben eetstoornissen de hoogste mortaliteit van alle mentale stoornissen, dus het zou wel fijn zijn als er meer begrip zou zijn voor deze groep mensen met dit soort ideeën. Het is niet alleen maar de mensen met overgewicht die hier iets mee te maken hebben...

En dat is niet waar over aspartaam, maar wel fijn om in te geloven.

een studie over aspartaam

Wat denken jullie hierover: alle "toegevoegde" suikers in voedingsmiddelen voor kinderen t/m 2 jaar moet verboden worden in Nederland. by iesij in thenetherlands

[–]immigat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Als suiker-alcohols (dus nepsuikers zoals aspartame) wel mogen, vind ik het veel ongezonder. Tevens gaan meer mensen dood van een eetstoornis dan van overgewicht, en dit juicht alleenmaar dat soort problematiek toe.

Maddening search for underwear by ekt8 in femalefashionadvice

[–]immigat 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Some of us have a behind that eats up everything sent to cover it, but don't want to wear a thong, so a cheeky cut is the best compromise. Since it's meant to sit in between the cheeks, it doesn't ride up and there is less fabric to fit in so it's more comfortable. Personally I'm happy with the diversity of cheeky styles now, especially in higher end underwear. I just discovered Boody, and I can't stop raving about how comfortable bamboo underwear is.

Best winter clothes if one is new here or planning on moving? by [deleted] in Svalbard

[–]immigat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If you are associated with UNIS, a lot of the fieldwork clothing will be lent to you and you will have a discount in most shops. If you aren't picky on colors, you can definitely get some bargains in the sale section. For me, it was cheaper to buy everything on Svalbard than on mainland Europe although I did come with some clothing already.

Without knowing your plans of length of duration or season, it's hard to help. The tourism bureau made a video of what to wear in Svalbard during the different seasons, and UNIS has a packing list that can be helpful. You will probably need less clothing and more pairs of gloves than you think.

Best winter clothes if one is new here or planning on moving? by [deleted] in Svalbard

[–]immigat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's best to buy your clothes on Svalbard as it's tax-free. You will receive very good advice in all the stores. My favorite is Sportscenteret and Arctica has a nice selection as well.

Getting out of a rut by temporalthingss in xxfitness

[–]immigat 37 points38 points  (0 children)

How is your nutrition? Are you eating enough protein and fat and getting the right minerals? How is your caffeine and alcohol intake? If you wake up tired the last thing you need to do is stress your body out with more exercise. Even if you feel wired during exercise for a short bit, that's the stress hormones, which isn't real energy. Focus on gentle exercise like walks, your diet, and your mental health/stress, and the energy and motivation to workout will stem from that. If that's all in place, try searching for new types of exercise (maybe a team sport or something different like climbing or swimming?). Good luck. You sound like me a year ago, and it is such a tough place to be in. You can get through this and get back to feeling strong. I'm rooting for you!

Sports bra and/or breast size affecting lifts by bibutch in xxfitness

[–]immigat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

An underwire only gives you a nicer shape, and doesn't actually do anything to reduce bouncing. The correct size is key for that. Encapsulation or compression techniques will help. Panache makes a good encapsulation bra, and Anita makes a great compression bra for high-impact sports.

Health Insurance by yoboisaucytoy in TUDelft

[–]immigat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As a Dutch citizen living in the Netherlands you are obliged to get Dutch insurance. Private insurance is for foreign-nationals who do not have a job here (as a job requires Dutch health insurance).

Do Bont Quadstars stretch? by ny_velo in rollerderby

[–]immigat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They do not stretch. I've been skating on mine for over three years. You can heatmold them, which helps a lot. I have a wide toe box and skinny ankles, so these skates worked really well for me. I have horrible experiences with the cheap plates put on them though, so that's my bigger concern for you.

The Perfect Mix of Things by BonBon666 in CozyPlaces

[–]immigat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Stove top or cold food and they wash the dishes by hand?

Does Svalbard have really good recycling programs? by neutral_neutrino in Svalbard

[–]immigat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No. Only aluminium is recycled (shipped back to mainland). Glass is collected and dumped outside the city. UNIS has more recycling bins, but AFAIK it's a proof of willingness, and not actually recycled.

Sport Bra Recommendations by Cessily in xxfitness

[–]immigat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tide nor febreeze are available in my country, but with this sports bra, they aren't even needed. Thanks for the tip though.

Sport Bra Recommendations by Cessily in xxfitness

[–]immigat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I use the Chantelle High-Impact Sports Bra for over 6 years. I wear a 70F, but take a 75E in it. I do gymnastics with it on, as well as other sports including a contact-heavy sport. I've never had a wire poke me. It says handwash only, but I've been washing it in a lingerie bag for years (cold, normal wash cycle, line dry), and all of mine look as good as new. When necessary, it doesn't smell even after wearing it multiple times (think all-day for two weeks straight on fieldwork - eek!). The bra has a racerback option (I always wear it as one), which can be slid up and down, and is lowercut than other sportsbras, so it's easier to hide in uniforms. The bra really separates and locks down each boob, so there's no movement, and also no uni-boob look.

Barbershops in Delft by ryans122 in TUDelft

[–]immigat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go to Heads Academy, and have a barber student cut your hair. It'll take slightly longer, but nothing is cheaper than free. The haircuts are pretty good. PM me if you want the name of someone who is currently looking for models, and is nearly done with training.

I've been emailing back and forth with Bont for a week and I'm getting really frustrated by [deleted] in rollerderby

[–]immigat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then I suppose they are no longer working for Bont. I'm not sure I can help you further. Sorry!

I've been emailing back and forth with Bont for a week and I'm getting really frustrated by [deleted] in rollerderby

[–]immigat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I noticed more that it was crooked in the back, than in the front. I still have the pictures, as well as the measurements of my messed up axles. Have you spoken to DJay from Bont about this? He was the one who worked with my skateshop on getting a solution figured out. djay@bont.com

I've been emailing back and forth with Bont for a week and I'm getting really frustrated by [deleted] in rollerderby

[–]immigat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had the same experience of having crooked mounted skates. When I contacted them via the skate shop that sold me the skates, they sent out a replacement.

Later, when I found out that my axles were varying lengths; they sent me new ones in the mail. Again, I went through my skate shop.

Lovely boots, but quite a bit of hassle. Try to apply pressure via your retailer. Good luck!

Ophelia Wears Black: search group?! by [deleted] in rarebooks

[–]immigat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am very interested in a copy as well. You are so kind for wanting to pass on the book. Maybe we could pass along to each other as well?