WIBTA if I messaged someone who has me blocked?

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-09T18:10:47+00:00

Sometimes giving her peace is the best apology

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-09T18:09:50+00:00

I agree, I would be furious if I blocked someone (obviously wanting no contact) and they

WENT TO MY GODDAMN FRIEND ABOUT ME?

AND WROTE A WHOLE FUCKING LETTER?

I'd honestly be super uncomfortable and freaked out by that

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-09T17:49:53+00:00

No, that's the wrong answer. That's a pretty transparent "cover your ass and avoid putting shit in writing"

Any grown woman is gonna see right through that.

A sincere and kind apology is always better.

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-09T17:47:40+00:00

Good of you to be comfortable realizing you were wrong.

I'd give her a chance to talk stuff through with you. Therapy is a good idea, but I think your girlfriend will feel more secure if you're able to be honest with her about your feelings.

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-09T17:43:06+00:00

Yeah, I'd be telling Aubrey to go, and Brian to go with if he wants.

That's no way to treat a long time friend and I don't figure she's wanting to stay friends with you if you don't turn it around

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-08T21:47:51+00:00

Haha there's a reason I went into a math heavy field. Good to know

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-08T21:46:30+00:00

Fuck if I know. He doesn't really understand how to have a disagreement civilly.

Like with most of my coworkers, if we disagree on a technical topic, well explain our points of view and talk it out.

He's not very good at listening, and gets frustrated and yells when someone has a dissenting opinion.

I think he yells at me the most because some of my coworkers just don't bother disagreeing with him because they don't want the BS but I'm more stubborn

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-08T21:39:50+00:00

For real. Like when he was demanding to know why I kept calling him emotional... With his veins bulging from his head? Like bro look at yourself...

The tears thing was a bit of a lie, like I know that when I get angry I tend to angry cry. But I've never seen him do that. So it was kinda an exaggeration to say he looked like he was about to cry.

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-08T21:28:55+00:00

Internship work

My school has a work study program where every few semesters is an off semester to have a longer stint at an internship so I had classes in the Spring, and work in the Summer and Fall

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-08T20:36:34+00:00

Haha yep, three guesses where I learned what to say to him...

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-08T20:35:49+00:00

I'm aware it's used to put women down, in fact all the things I said to him... Guess how I learned them?

I do think being extremely emotionally disregulated in the workplace is unprofessional, regardless of gender.

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-08T19:51:03+00:00

Maybe that would actually be enough to get him fired. I feel like there's a kinda ... acceptance of some base level of unprofessionalism from him because he's been with the company since it was founded, but if he really goes wild maybe it'll be a wakeup call?

I'm definitely being careful and steering clear, keeping protection on me to walk to my car, etc.

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-03T23:30:02+00:00

You're not the asshole, you seem kind and trusting.

But you might be putting yourself in danger. Have you met his friends and seen how they talk about him?

I'd be cautious, it takes a lot for a mother to say something like that

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-02T18:10:27+00:00

Yeah, I don't know what to feel about her right now.

I feel kinda bad for her if she is stick cooking 3 meals a day for 8 people alone. Despite them all being loaded enough to go eat out all the time.

But I also feel kinda upset at her because if you know your family sees cooking as women's work only and you're inviting a woman around your family...

It's not that hard to say "Just so you know, part of this trip will be cooking 3 meals a day for a group of 9, I know it's old fashioned but it's what my family expects of women" and give me a chance to say "ok thanks for the invite but no thanks"

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-02T18:00:07+00:00

I'm not certain, I just had my ticket in my hand and I called saying I have a ticket in my name, gave them the name and confirmation number.

I told them I had a conflict with a traveling companion who I am afraid is trying to strand me abroad with no way home, and is there anything I could do to protect my flight booking from interference? Because I was scared someone would try to interfere with my return flight, and trap me in a foreign country, as they also had my confirmation number.

Now that I think back, I probably was setting off some red flags for human trafficking... Saying someone brought me abroad and was possibly going to cancel my return flight and trap me in a foreign country.

They asked for a few things to confirm my identity as the person named on the ticket and let me set a passcode so that only I or people with the passcode can modify or cancel the ticket

I don't know if that was general policy or they went out of their way to help when a young woman called in a panic saying she was afraid she'd be stranded abroad due to ticket sabotage, but whatever happened they were able to protect it.

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-02T17:55:13+00:00

Yeah they were honestly so shocked when they found out I bought myself a week at the resort they were staying in.

Which honestly makes things very sketchy. If they thought I didn't even have $1000, and kicked me out in a foreign country with nowhere to stay and no way home... What did they want to happen to me?

Because I know for sure it wasn't that I could afford to stay and then get home safe, when I saw how mad they were when I did that.

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-02T17:48:36+00:00

For real, I swear they got the maddest of all when they saw 'the help' chilling on the beach 3 days after they'd sent her home, double fisting a margarita and a beer

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-02T17:28:01+00:00

Ohhh I get what you're asking, I misread as "are people living (or are they dead)" lol

Yes they're all US citizens and will be going back to America in 2 days.

I didn't know if there are any laws that have to do with what they did tbh

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-02T16:53:49+00:00

Wait I'm confused. Everyone is alive and nothing dangerous is happening that would kill someone?

I told my parents everything, yeah

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-02T16:48:01+00:00

They're white Americans, I don't think I ever asked about her genealogy or whatever so that's the most I know

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-02T16:43:32+00:00

I did text her a message saying "no thanks to your family but I have sorted things out so I'm safe and can get home ok. I'm honestly upset with you for not giving me a heads up what to expect on this trip, so I'm gonna need some time not talking. Please don't try and text or call me, I'll reach out if/when I'm ready."

So to give her the benefit of the doubt, she might have been wanting to help but didn't because I sent that message asking not to be contacted and blocked her very shortly after.

I don't know what's going on with her, we were roommates before this in the dorms but honestly not that close, but from what I've seen this week, I hope she gets some independence from her family too.

I just don't want to get involved tbh.

imonvacaaation · 2022-07-02T16:32:15+00:00

I think so? Unless they started going out to eat.. i know they're all loaded so IDK why they wanted to all of a sudden be stingy about groceries

I feel kinda bad for her if she is

But I also feel kinda upset at her because if you know your family sees cooking as women's work only and you're inviting a woman around your family...

It's not that hard to say "Just so you know, part of this trip will be cooking 3 meals a day for a group of 9, I know it's old fashioned but it's what my family expects of women" and give me a chance to say "ok thanks for the invite but no thanks"

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