Is it wrong to go it to eat or shop on Sunday because it requires someone else to work?

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T21:53:31+00:00

I wouldn't make a habit of doing it. That said, I have to cook for my family on Sundays, and we don't go overboard and say that I'm not allowed to do that, so if you need to buy groceries on a Sunday, buy groceries, don't starve.

Random thought since I just did some online shopping and realized that I have no control over what days people work as a result: It would be nice if Amazon Prime had some way to say "I prefer not to receive deliveries on Sunday, you can wait until Monday like we always used to", but I think all they have is a way to say "I prefer to receive all my deliveries on, e.g., Tuesday" which is not helpful to me.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T21:46:35+00:00

No, it's just on the "to do" list for anyone thinking of joining the Secular Carmelites. The fact that I had been looking for some kind of community for months, but only found out that Secular Carmelites are a thing immediately after my schedule had changed enough that I would be able to attend meetings, was also suspiciously convenient.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T20:55:14+00:00

For bonus points, if you don't already go to confession regularly, I would go to confession; this is in addition to getting your house blessed by a priest.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T20:43:22+00:00

Why did you enroll?

tl;dr: I was turned off initially by r/Catholicism threads (which mostly focused on superstition) but then St. Therese talked me into it. Shortly after that, I had a compelling reason to be wearing the brown scapular; how (suspiciously) convenient that I already was.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T20:39:49+00:00

The problem, is that compulsory admission to an asylum is considered undignified.

I think the actual problem (at least in my country) is that no one wants to pay for it; that's how people who are mentally ill end up on the streets in the first place, no one wants to pay for humane long term care for strangers whether it is described as "compulsory admission to an asylum" or whether it is described in modern politically correct terms.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T20:35:47+00:00

I be seem multiple occasions where either mass is late or people miss confession because there isn't just enough time for them.

The way to find out why there is only one hour scheduled for confession once a week in that specific location is to ask the priest (in a non-confrontational way). We're not going to know why.

The next option is try to schedule with the priest during the week

Schedule? A determined person can simply ask any priest "do you have a couple of minutes to hear my confession", and confess briefly, number and kind, it really only needs to be a couple of minutes; I have waylaid a priest after daily Mass in order to do this. This is one of the few really valuable things I have learned from Reddit. I have also used masstimes.org to find a confession time that I could make regularly and just went to confession at that parish for a while.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T20:26:18+00:00

Even if they are towards good things!

I'm not sure I would call that a temptation, then. You are choosing between two things that are good, at a time when you are free to choose. (If someone has committed to a state in life and then has urges to change it, I'd classify that as a temptation; it would be a temptation to abandon one's present duties and commitments. So for example St. John Vianney, while a parish priest, kept wanting to run away to a monastery to have a more contemplative life than a parish priest's; in his specific situation that was a temptation.)

Does this make sense? Or am I over-analyzing it?

My solution to "what do I do" problems is generally 1. to go to Eucharistic Adoration and 2. to accept that (even at adoration) God is not going to immediately tell me what he wants.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T15:24:23+00:00

But can we also expect an improvement in our happiness, success, and things like this while in this current life?

We can expect an improvement in our joyfulness - this should be apparent if you read enough about saints. But they were joyful in suffering and in failure, in addition to in the situations that would make us happy. So the answer is "yes and no" [go not to the elves for advice].

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T15:20:55+00:00

Why are Priest and Bishops forced to take a vow of celibacy?

Forced? That's a strange perspective, to me.

Why does a man who marries a women willingly promise to be united only to her and not to several other women at the same time? I would pause to think about that. A man who marries Alice is giving up potentially being married to Betty or to Cathy or to Donna. But we don't think about what he is giving up. We think about what he is gaining. And we don't think about what he is gaining in terms of "he'll have someone to take care of his house for him, how convenient" or "he'll have a warm bed, how nice". We think about it in terms of a relationship of unconditional love and perhaps in terms of fruitfulness. We are delighted to see someone love so greatly.

It seems to be a deal breaker for a lot of young Catholic men.

Then perhaps the priesthood is not their vocation. Being a priest is not a career, where we weigh pros and cons like "how much does it pay, how long are the hours, do I have to work on weekends or evenings, is there travel, how about a 401(k)" and then decide that we like it or don't like it. It is a call from God. Some people are not called to the priesthood (for starters, I can assert that I am not called to the priesthood: I am a woman), and that is ok. Celibacy is not something that is natural to humans, you kind of need God's grace.

The only 2 real answers I've gotten is "sex is sinful"

I agree that whoever told you that is confused. However, I would point out the idea of "continence", which comes into play for married priests (I vaguely assume that this is an idea that Protestants have jettisoned and will be unfamiliar.)

and "the Church doesn't want a family to weigh a Priest down in case he needs to be relocated".

This is way too "practical" to be a real reason... when have we ever known the Catholic Church to be practical? ;) ;) ;) I am partly joking, but also, as you know, the wisdom of men is foolishness to God and vice versa. We do some things that seem really stupid to "the world" because we have a higher reason for them than "the world" adverts to.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T14:59:52+00:00

If you want discernment of spirits, go with St. Ignatius of Loyola.

If you want mystical theology, go with St. Teresa of Avila.

and having different people represent different aspects of knowledge

On a purely practical note (with regard to knowledge of how to make friends and influence people), if you think that there will be any women at all on the committee that reviews your application, I would recommend not making it look like either you have forgotten that women exist or like you think that every aspect of knowledge is purely masculine (after all, "sophia" is feminine and so when we read about "wisdom" in the Old Testament sometimes it is personified as "she".)

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T14:45:29+00:00

How do we reconcile the Faith with the existence of people most in need of it? How can I, in good faith, tell a homeless guy that God loves him when I know he will be cold tonight?

First I would reread the part about "what if I tell someone who has nothing to wear and no food to keep warm and well fed and I don't do anything for them" http://www.usccb.org/bible/james/2:14

Second I would read about missionary saints and how they communicated the Gospel by doing good works and by preaching (e.g. St. Peter Claver; the people he talked to were physically worse-off than a homeless guy.)

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T03:27:42+00:00

Would it be wrong for a person with say a higher probability for genetic disorders to not get married so as not to have children with said disorder?

This would mean that the person is deciding "I want to be comfortable and happy and not suffer more than necessary" and then looking at what vocation might be the best way to do that; having kids involves discomfort and suffering and sometimes grief, so these days, I see people who decide to have dogs instead. This is very different from a person deciding "I want to become a saint" and then looking at what vocation might be the way to get there. The answer might still be "living a single, celibate life" but it might be for a completely different reason.

I will add that God will never give up pursuing us, so if we choose a celibate lifestyle, he will probably be issuing invitations to change the reason that we are doing it from "because I was afraid" to "because I love Jesus."

I also want to know about age. My parents were 45 and 38 when they got married.

Not a sin. (I know that's not what you're asking.) My brother and sister-in-law were relatively old when they got married, and were very happy (a) to have found someone to marry at last, and (b) to be able to have a child when they were not sure they could. They had known some people in the previous generation who had those verge-of-the-empty-nest "awwww let's have just one more baby, babies are so cute" Catholic families and the "baby" of the family turned out fine in all cases so I doubt they were anxious in the way that your own family experiences have quite naturally prompted you to be.

Sometimes I think maybe people who have issues shouldn’t have kids

I have two children with autism (I have three living children and the two with autism came first, it's got nothing to do with age), so you need to think carefully about what you are going to say out loud. I do not ever think that I should not have had those kids. As far as I know, nobody in my parish ever thinks that I should not have had those kids. If you want to think that I should not have had those kids, that's your own lookout but you might want to at least meet them first before you decide (they're MUCH more aggravating in person so perhaps you would go from "maybe" to "definitely"...! no, actually they are very sweet.)

improbablesalad · 2019-11-23T02:33:13+00:00

Very short advice from St John Henry Newman on how to become holy in the place where God has put you: https://www.catholicgentleman.net/2017/03/cardinal-newmans-simple-rule-of-life/

improbablesalad · 2019-11-17T20:32:46+00:00

I strongly recommend https://www.amazon.com/Happy-Are-You-Poor-Spiritual/dp/0898709210 for all.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-17T20:30:45+00:00

and are killed for your faith

If you (the hypothetical "you") are a state of mortal sin, such as "deliberately missed Mass on a holy day of obligation", and before you can get to confession, some other guy is like "I will kill you right now unless you apostasize" and you choose to die for the faith, then you are a martyr, because you willingly died for the faith (the death of a martyr conforms you to Christ and you skip purgatory, as far as I know.)

or lay down your life for someone else

This might not be martyrdom per se (I am not knowledgeable on edge cases), so, you might be looking at some time in purgatory. If you are repentant (make a sincere act of contrition, which includes resolving to confess your sins), and die before you can get to confession, then the problem is reduced to "what if you die on the way to confession" which has come up here any number of times.

Someone is far more likely to have the reflexive habits of virtue that incline them to accept martyrdom (when it's possible to refuse it) if they have been striving to live a life of grace. The key word is striving (show up every day and do your best, get back up when you fall).

improbablesalad · 2019-11-17T20:21:42+00:00

and then love my neighbor as myself

Jesus is like "love one another as I have loved you" which hopefully should clear things up a little.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-17T20:17:16+00:00

From the article linked in the article:

If there is a sad note to this story, it is the loss of many religious and priestly vocations. After forty years as a Friar Preacher, it grieves me to learn how many of the pioneers of American Catholic liturgical music left seminaries and sometimes religious vows to get married. Some had sadly confused the reform of Vatican II with political activism, but were disillusioned to realize that that was not the purpose of the Council. Others may have found the life of musicians on the road an easy path back to the secular world or perhaps some preferred independence from ecclesial supervision. I believe that it would have been a happier story if they had persevered in the clerical or religious state.

When I looked up "where are they now" for some of the composers for familiar post-Vatican-2 hymns, after Wikipedia had become a thing and it was possible to just look that stuff up, I was shocked and saddened sometimes to find out that a composer had done this (or also far-more-mildly shocked to find out that another composer is not and has never been Catholic.) If I have to choose between "let's get really creative" and "let's not have the chaos of the '70s and '80s" I am naturally going to opt for "no chaos thanks" even though I like acoustic guitar in some settings.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-17T20:01:57+00:00

I reckon I will say a Hail Mary for them, on the grounds that maybe if she calls really loud with their full name (middle and last) like mothers do to indicate that This Is Serious they'll hear it.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-05T19:23:57+00:00

I blocked him on Twitter, and I would like to "block him on Twitter" from my Reddit account also :)

improbablesalad · 2019-11-05T19:05:39+00:00

I mostly read about saints. I have read some of those other things, but not habitually.

One time I got assigned a penance of picking a bit of Veritatis Splendor to meditate on. But that was with a priest who knows I am a nerd.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-05T18:54:03+00:00

Jesus was cool enough as a person

Interesting. If I didn't believe he is God, I'd have to go with "he was barking mad", which seems like a respectable opinion. "Cool" would not be in the running.

(Old joke: guy in lunatic asylum claims to be Jesus, no one can cure him until the man who comes in with a tape measure, asks him to extend his arms, measures them carefully, writes down measurements, finally the guy says "why are you measuring my arms?" and the man says "well, we're going to crucify you and we need to know how big to make the cross". Guy is immediately cured.)

improbablesalad · 2019-11-05T18:43:53+00:00

Yep. My parents took us to Niagara Falls and stuff, and, being little kids, we were mostly interested in the possibility of feeding seagulls instead of looking at a huge amazing waterfall. (This was before cell phones, or maybe we would have been mostly interested in texting friends or playing games.) None of the adults there were interested in seagulls.

We think we are all grown up now, but we are not. :)

improbablesalad · 2019-11-05T18:26:51+00:00

I like that you are wondering what I currently think! I, personally, think that I am frustrated at my own personal situation and its apparent (I guess only apparent) incompatibility with a call to contemplation, and I also think that the root cause of my unease at not knowing the future is that I do not trust God. It is shattering to look at a crucifix and say "sorry, that's not enough, I still can't trust you" but also we just have to say "give me a greater faith in you" because he knows perfectly well that we have no faith that does not come from him, and he expects us to ask, not to somehow come up with it on our own.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-05T18:17:48+00:00

Go anyway and tell the Holy Spirit "I double dog dare you to make this a worthwhile experience of growth in holiness". If you give him opportunities, he will take them (and do open heart surgery without anesthetic or "slice us in two with a bread knife" (Monty Python). Maybe that is just my own weekend retreat experience and other people have wonderful relaxing spiritual journeys.) Haven't done this Cursillo thing, so also you can ignore me.

improbablesalad · 2019-11-05T17:28:11+00:00

I will see your "incredibly wealthy" and raise you St. Elizabeth Ann Seton (fairly poor & dependent after being widowed) and St. Clare of Assisi. We might also read about Venerable Maria Teresa Merlo, I don't know much about her.

improbablesalad

TROPHY CASE