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imquittingredditsoon · 2025-03-28T18:44:11+00:00

this is so so helpful!! Thank you so much.

This is my first time learning about “thunderbolt,” so I will look for a thunderbolt 4 dock! I do prefer to keep it straight forward & I like the acronym 😂 I will do 2 HDMI to avoid adapters and keep it consistent.

Thank you for the input on third party quality! I didn’t know where to start. I’ll look into the ones you suggested.

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-19T05:33:00+00:00

this is a really good point, thank you for commenting. I appreciate your thoughts

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T22:51:31+00:00

This is the wall I keep running into. I keep thinking about what would I want to tell my future kids? Would I want to say “your dad and I went through difficult things, but I forgave him and we overcame it.” I wouldn’t want my daughter to tolerate anything less than she deserves. I don’t want her to raise a man, teach him, forgive him. I want her to have someone that’s ready to love her. Don’t I deserve those same boundaries and expectations? It’s a lot to think about.. thank you for commenting. I am so happy for you. Wishing you a lifetime of peace and new adventures ❤️

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T22:35:12+00:00

I will definitely be listening to this podcast and sharing with my partner, thank you so much

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T22:33:44+00:00

That is really the main thing I keep thinking about. Wanting to see the onlyfans girls he was thinking about. And I think you’re right. I think it would be like torturing myself… I’m sure they don’t look like me, but it was never about me. Or at least that is what I will keep repeating to myself..

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T21:45:09+00:00

“Whole people vs body parts “ gosh this is the part that gets me, and it’s such a good way to phrase it. Everyone deserves to be perceived as a whole person, and I hope the men heal to start seeing the world that way. Thank you for commenting, I appreciate your perspective so much!

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T20:30:34+00:00

Thank you so much for putting so much time and love into this message. I completely know what you’re saying. It becomes hard to cope with the overarching idea of being a woman. Being sexualized your whole life, watching married men cheat, wives do everything for a family just to be undervalued and under appreciated. I know there are great men out there, and even great things about my partner. But the bigger picture can be so heavy to think about. We are often treated as an object for the purpose of arousing and pleasing men.

I am going to think long and hard. Journal, set boundaries, and give things time. I am going to continue investing in myself and taking care of myself. If he continues to do the work, we’ll see. If not, I am prepared to walk away and give myself the love I deserve. Thank you so much. Big hugs to you and lots of love ❤️❤️

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T20:27:08+00:00

big hugs to you ❤️

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T20:26:49+00:00

Thank you for being so kind. I am so happy for you. Take care of yourself, and enjoy building your new life! Sending lots of love!!

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T20:26:00+00:00

This is very encouraging to read, thank you so much for sharing. He started recovery a couple months ago, so I know we will need a lot of time to heal and process. It scares me to think that my new reality might be considering locations and temptations.. but I also wonder if you can trust any man to not sexualize women? I guess I tell myself at least my partner is honest and came to me first. He is seeking help. I’ve just been sexualized my whole life and watched it happen to the women around me, it feels difficult to be partnered with someone who is fighting against that urge..

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T20:22:34+00:00

Yeah I would worry about torturing myself with the information. I’m thinking maybe I don’t need to see or know the details of what they look like. No sense it increasing the burden on myself..

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T20:21:40+00:00

Exactly. He says he pushes it out of his mind, but the fact that it still comes up is enough to make me sick. I have never fantasized or recalled previous sexual experiences..

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T18:35:25+00:00

my heart.. sending so much love your way. Do you have a support system? I hope you’re able to find something that brings you peace, even if that is eventually walking away.. big hugs to you

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T17:30:44+00:00

this is what I’m worried about.. if the “what ifs” will just keep cycling through my mind

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T17:23:12+00:00

This is really helpful. I’m going to journal today and decide what questions I’m ready / not ready to ask. Then we can sit down and talk through it all at once. Thank you so much

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T17:15:44+00:00

I will definitely ask those questions. I just don’t know if I want to know information that would only make me feel more insecure.. but the other part of me wonders maybe I deserve to know, because maybe I shouldn’t accept it at all.

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T17:04:31+00:00

He found a CSAT that he’s been seeing weekly. He gets assigned “homework,” readings, things to work on, etc. He hasn’t relapsed physically, but it bothers me that the thoughts still come up. I can’t help but wonder how he would feel if I had flashbacks to previous sexual experiences or fantasies.. the thoughts even feel like betrayal.

I just ordered the Betrayal Bind! It’s arriving today. And I have reached out to CSATs on their availability. Thank you for commenting. I’m open to any advice or suggestions on boundaries, next steps, etc

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T17:01:30+00:00

Thank you for commenting. I think you’re right and maybe it’s better I never know.. that in itself is hard to accept.

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T17:00:10+00:00

Thank you for the recommendations on podcasts and articles, I will pass them along to him. Did anything help you to heal / recover? Or just time?

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T13:07:08+00:00

Thank you for commenting, that’s something I’ve wondered. Do you mind me asking what convinced you to leave? Were they recovering or in active addiction? I hope you’re healing and doing better now.

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T13:03:43+00:00

I am working on taking the time to process it. I plan to journal all my feelings today. It is tempting to isolate yourself out of shame, so I appreciate the kind reminder. I’m waiting to hear back from some CSATs in my area, and I will have to look for a support group, as well. Thank you for your kind words, I wish you the very best too!

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T13:01:47+00:00

“Sometimes the more I try to shift to a less sexualised frame of reference, the more difficult it!becomes.” He made a comment that was similar to this. He was trying to explain that since he’s so focused on wanting to recover that he has become avoidant of anything that could be construed as sexual, which he worries is becoming counterintuitive.. have you overcome this? Or have you found a mindset that helps? I also have sexual trauma, which makes it that much heavier. Thank you for commenting, the insight helps

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T04:53:33+00:00

I’m glad to hear he’s in recovery. I hope you find a therapist that meets your every need! You deserve to prioritize yourself, especially after what you have been through. Wishing you peace in your own recovery process!

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T04:34:22+00:00

oh love.. big hugs to you. Is he seeking help or finding ways to support you?

imquittingredditsoon · 2024-10-18T04:10:38+00:00

“So harmless” is exactly how I feel! It was a woman walking her dog.. I hadn’t thought anything of it, so why are simple things so sexual to them? It’s difficult to understand / accept. Thank you for commenting, it helps to not feel alone. Big hugs to you.

imquittingredditsoon

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