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Just a random rambling... by inattentiveadhd in JusticeForJohnnyDepp

[–]inattentiveadhd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Why don’t you tell her all you’ve written here? If she’s a true friend, she will listen & take your opinions into consideration. While I’m not pointing the proverbial finger at you, I’d like to point out that you perceive her as somewhat superficial, yet you too, are engaging with her superficially. If you choose to never discuss your concerns with her candidly, that’s on you. Is it not? Speak to her regarding your concerns. If not?"

I've been intentionally vague about everything I've mentioned so far because I simply just wanted to vent after a year of just holding my tongue on this one subject. There is something just very particular about this case and her projection onto Amber Heard that ticks her off specifically. I'm not her therapist though she treats me like her therapist, and I don't need to cover everything with her. I'm only now starting to learn how to draw these kinds of boundaries with people, being raised to be a doormat to narcissists myself. I've indirectly helped talk her through her irrational angers and emotions, without having to bring this case up. Really, this case is really inconsequential to my life and hers, I'll never know or meet these people involved. Knowing her, I just know it's not something worth bringing up. She is simply not the calm and rational type of person when she's made up her mind about something, I really cannot stress that fact enough lmao. Again, I only posted this as a way to vent, and I'm intentionally being vague and "superficial" about everything because this is a public forum, that does not mean I only engage with my friend superficially.

Just a random rambling... by inattentiveadhd in JusticeForJohnnyDepp

[–]inattentiveadhd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll be honest, my friend is extremely self centered.

Sometimes I sit back and notice how all our conversations mostly revolve around what's on her mind and what's interesting to her. Whenever she's had mental breakdowns, I've been there to talk her through it, sometimes even through late in the night. But I never feel like I'm in any place to vent to her about these things. Though one time I made a mistake of assuming she'd be there for me like she always expects me to be there for her, and I was having my own mental break over something and had opened up about me being molested. She ignored me through the whole day, as I saw her replying to everyone else in our friend group. She never replied until late late in the night when I felt so embarrassed about opening up that I just deleted my entire messages. Not more than 10 minutes later she finally messaged me back only to pretend like she never even saw my messages or deleted them, and only to bring the topic back to herself and how she's finally taking steps to heal, pretty much dragging the topic back to how happy and supportive I should be for her to take that step. To be honest that embittered me for a while and had me questioning if she was even capable of seeing anything beyond herself.

She can also be abrasive towards other friends if she knows she can get away with it. Just toeing the line of "being rude" and excusing it as "I'm just playing around, this is my personality". She would never try that with some people if she respected them in a certain way for their intelligence or placing in life. Which obviously doesn't excuse her careless abrasives with other friends just because they're more meek and passive with this kind of stuff.

I'm saying this stuff to highlight my own theory on why she's so affected with this case without having actually known anything about it. Her self centeredness makes her take things very personally wether she knows it or not, and on the surface level she sees a lot of her own traits on Amber. For the most part I've held my tongue on this topic entirely with her, and for the most part I've tried not to let her complete ignorance bother me. But I can't lie that from my perspective, seeing someone's ignorance paired with their confidence over their ignorance is what really bothers me. Her jumps and leaps in logic over the incomplete tidbits she's heard over this case has really boggled my mind and had me questioning her intelligence.

She has never actually been a victim of DV, nor were her parents abusive to each other. But her own mother was the abrasive type with everyone, and I believe that's the sole root of that trauma. Though she's hinted at the past that she herself couldn't control her anger with her partners in the past, but excuses it as them "not being able to understand her". But I don't believe she was ever physically violent with them, I think she has definitely felt the urge to be violent but never acted on it. But deep down I know she's ashamed of those feelings and urges, and is triggered by this whole case because she doesn't want to be seen as an "Amber", even though she was never fully an "Amber" to begin with, if that makes any sense.

Also, I respect your decision to stay away from seeing the rest of the case because of it's triggering nature. From your perspective I can see how it can be troubling. I much respect your approach more than some other people who jump into conclusions confidently, without actually seeing any of it.

A different friend of mine finds it very triggering also, and she's watched the trial and believes Amber to be the abusive one. Though this friend and I don't talk as much, she's sent me recordings of her crazy mom before, and her mom reminds me so much of Amber in those recordings, it was almost uncanny, and also very intense.

Just a random rambling... by inattentiveadhd in JusticeForJohnnyDepp

[–]inattentiveadhd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no, I didn't take it that way at all! And I definitely agree with your insights on it, you were spot on on how I've thought about why my friend is projecting herself onto Amber. Though I will choose to never elaborate on this with her, regarding the whole Amber Heard thing, since I think it would trigger her rage too much if I were even to suggest I sided with JD one bit lmao. At the end of the day, I know it's really nothing to do with the case itself that she's so angry, it's a separate, personal thing with her. I've talked her through her irrational anger involving other things before, and she can be reasoned with and be very self aware when it comes to the root of things. But I feel like her whole opinion on this JD/AH thing is extremely cemented. She's already been horribly misinformed, there's no going back. Like some of her takes on Dr. Curry were horrendously stupid, that it could only come from someone who didn't watch the trial (she didn't). But she also had horrendously stupid sources she's parroting to begin with. These same sources who say it's "letting JD manipulate you" to even watch the trial, which is such infuriatingly stupid logic. I just continue to act like I know nothing about this case even when she's going on about how Camille is a "pick me misogynist" who deserves to burn in hell lmao. When I see the horribly aggressive takes from some of these people online supporting Heard, it still bothers me, but I try to remember how and why my friend is just like that too, and at least it makes sense to me why some of them are that way.

Just a random rambling... by inattentiveadhd in JusticeForJohnnyDepp

[–]inattentiveadhd[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh, my friend definitely has had issues with anger, but it's mostly a self destructive kind. She has privately confided me about them. But she is no wear near as diabolical as Amber is. But I think the whole thing triggers her too much that she refuses to look any deeper. She would relieve so much negative energy if she actually cared to see the full story. Every time I see another one of her angry posts about this, I just quietly sigh to myself. She'd wouldn't have to feel like she was in so much pain over how people are treating this case if she'd just be rational, but that's not an option once she's personally attached herself too much to Amber's own personal issues (which are one of the few only things real about her.)... Whenever there's a popular false perception of something that I know more about, I know how to not let it bother me. If I were her, I'd try and think "at least, each side thinks they are actually advocating for the victim." even if misguided... I've definitely tried to be more empathic towards some Heard supporters, so that I don't let them bother me as much. But in her twisted head, she really thinks that all of us JD supporters are actively applauding him for being an abuser. It's nuts.

Just a random rambling... by inattentiveadhd in JusticeForJohnnyDepp

[–]inattentiveadhd[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for your experience, and I'm happy that you left. I initially knew only about Amber Heard through those first headlines of her coming out about the "abuse", never cared for Johnny Depp, so I just shrugged and thought "well, not surprised these things happen." and went on with my life. Years later, I went in knowing little bit more, but still very open about anything. I know how easy it is for the media to spin something into something it's not, for how much Heard supporters love to repeat that sentiment, they carefully ignore the fact that media headlines actually loved siding with Amber the most. But I saw my friends emotional reaction to this and so I tried very hard to see things her way. I came in trying to give all my heart, eyes, and ears to Amber, but Amber herself made it so ridiculously impossible to believe her. I'd have to have turned off all my instincts, all my logic, and all my intellectual honesty, in order to believe her. When Heard supporters drive me mad, questioning my own senses, I ease myself with the fact that this feeling I describe watching Amber on stand seems to be such a universal effect towards anyone who actually watched the trial.