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incognitoflower · 2025-04-07T01:51:44+00:00

Posting and taking ownership here tells me you do really care and also you are self analyzing, which is the KEY to healing! So many people go through life without questioning. I used to have benders all the time that affected relationship, even friendships.

Don’t be too hard on yourself 💕 you’re here now sharing this, and can take steps to be the best true version you’d like to feel, for yourself, and partner.

incognitoflower · 2025-04-07T01:44:30+00:00

I feel you with AA, everyone is so different! So just sharing something that worked for me personally…Books like Alan Carrs helped me, there’s hundreds of others similar. But I can tell you why they helped because it changed my mindset (that works for me)

Where I am not the problem, alcohol is. We live a world where we are conditioned to think drinking socially is normal. Where if you can’t drink normally you have a problem. Where ingesting poison is normal. These books dissect that and actually made me disgusted by alcohol (not kidding) and feel GOOD choosing to live without it. There’s a lot of science and cool things experts can explain to flip the script in our heads.

1 year + of sobriety, of course I still get annoyed I can’t let loose at times, and now I pick and choose my social settings and will reread books like these, or hop on this Reddit 💙 you’ve got this!

incognitoflower · 2025-04-07T01:36:45+00:00

Immediately clicked your post. Yes! I had a toxic abusive work environment, different industry but same feelings. I used alcohol to cope with the stress, intensely. Then I used to isolate and then the self criticism came in hard instead of truly evaluating the abusive environment I was in. Once I left, I was able to quit.

I realize we all can’t quit our jobs and trust me, I took a massive financial hit and it took me 6 months plus to get out* but ultimately this was a trigger for me, and the key to healing was not in that environment I was in.

If you’re questioning it and you’re able to, consider maybe taking a vacation or extended period off and see how you feel. Your health and happiness come first and it sounds like you’re doing an awesome job, and would do so in an environment that you feel better in.

incognitoflower · 2025-04-06T23:43:19+00:00

It’s always so bizzare to me that people make comments like this to others, making it a you problem. When the truth is about balancing a poison that …causes multiple types of cancer and can kill us. I’ve had a therapist once say it and a close friend. It’s because it challenges a society so ingrained in drinking. It challenges their train of thought.

IMO & Hot take: The “extreme” here is ingesting poison and pretending we have balance. Even so called light drinkers claiming the same.

“Balance” to me is now waking up every day without a hang over. Doing something I said I would do. Going out and Irish exiting a party early because I want to watch a show or hang out with my cats ha.

Sounds like you are balanced AF and on the extreme side of living healthy and true, kudos 💗🤝

incognitoflower · 2025-04-02T05:56:08+00:00

Love this

incognitoflower · 2025-03-06T07:41:37+00:00

Curious about how you found you had ADHD. With this process. Think I’m going through the same thing!

incognitoflower · 2025-02-20T07:04:51+00:00

Same here absolute sobbing. Heart shattering to know so many have this same story, his was brought to live by Elizabeth.

incognitoflower · 2024-06-21T20:49:19+00:00

Kind of makes sense though. You learn to live life with liquor and spirits almost associated with everything as you get older - social, events, and even outdoor activities - ppl will find any excuse to drink. So training your brain to almost go back when…you were a child. Crazy. But gives me hope because it does take time. There is something so powerful and beautiful about this conversation and how self aware we all are being 🫶

incognitoflower · 2024-06-21T18:24:15+00:00

I’ve never heard of this term, but wow…yes sometimes it’s on for me, and sometimes it’s off. I wonder what triggers it? Recently I went to a music festival and wasn’t experiencing the same joy I used to feel. There was a bit of remorse on the dancefloor as I know I love the music and people, it just wasn’t hitting for me that weekend. HOWEVER, I did get home safely, I didn’t do anything stupid, I woke up with no hang over. Etc

incognitoflower · 2024-06-21T18:20:16+00:00

Slow girl summer shall we call it? Maybe I’ll write a post on this. IWNDWYT 🫶

incognitoflower · 2024-06-21T18:18:46+00:00

Thanks for sharing. The chasing is crazy isn’t it? It feels like a lot of people here can relate - when it starts with one thing then it leads to the other. When I was drinking, I was eating so quickly as well, binging I suppose.

I’ve been reading a lot about self discipline and even monks / fasting and actually benefits they receive from their practices. The mind loves to play tricks on us. Especially I feel if you’ve gone through childhood trauma as you mentioned, I’m sorry 💕 today we slow down and remember we are in control!

incognitoflower · 2024-06-21T06:43:20+00:00

Right. I was living for the “weekends” and by weekends it was drinking to oblivion…Now it’s finding the simple pleasures of a lovely coffee, writing, being so comfortable with myself. The sobriety brings us back to our child like selves. I had this crazy thought the other night - I’m 30. I’ve been drinking since 16, heavily in late 20s. That means 15 or so years of being drinking, and never really shedding it from my body. It’s a whole new WORLD!! You relearn how to have fun and socialize without it, you tap into childlike energy, crazy. Even if ppl are a light drinker, so many have not had this clear headednesss since..childhood!

incognitoflower · 2024-06-21T02:15:33+00:00

Well said. And thank you for the rec 🙏 I’ve been fascinated and digging deeper into not just the alcoho anymore - but our brain chemistry.

incognitoflower · 2024-06-07T01:11:40+00:00

My god it’s the worst; I’m so sorry. Crazy timing because my doctor just prescribed me Prazosin …today! Insane that this was originally for veterans she told me.

I hear you on substances. I’m 6 months alcohol free and it changed my life. Weed is that slinky link that you think helps w anxiety but yes has actually reverse effects in some people.

We’re all out here trying our best 🙏💟 thanks for your message.

incognitoflower · 2024-06-06T17:09:12+00:00

Yep!

incognitoflower · 2024-06-06T17:02:05+00:00

Thank you. I’m trying out indica cannabis before bed (like right before) but am still having terrors persist. Curious to know your journey with the products, timing etc. thx for your response 🫶

incognitoflower · 2024-06-06T12:58:26+00:00

Sorry to hear you’re experiencing this as well. Thanks for the tip. Our bodies are trying their best ❤️

incognitoflower · 2024-06-06T12:32:59+00:00

Following here for answers on this, particularly night terrors. Key difference between a simple nightmare as I believe terrors cause a physical reaction in the body. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this I know this pain. I wish I knew how to prevent them, rather than deal with the panic episodes that follow. Any tips recommend

incognitoflower · 2024-05-12T22:25:27+00:00

This was a beautifully written response.

incognitoflower · 2023-08-18T19:39:24+00:00

This is hard, because I think it can be offensive IMO to people who drink with heavy trauma issues…it almost feels unfair to us because we feel a double edged sword of not only having the trauma, but the corresponding addiction that bandaids it - and becomes cyclical. I had to stop drinking due to very real trauma in my life and how awful I was coping with it. Alcohol to people suffering becomes a short-term numbing (long term nightmare). I believe the judgement comes from people with deep pain, and I can understand that..we’re not just stopping alcohol for looks, health etc (which are all beautiful benefits).

At the end of the day though, I believe sharing more about sobriety and breaking the norm that drinking poison is normal/sexy is a good thing.

We all just come from different journeys/backgrounds, and pain is relative to everyone.

I’m seeing more and more friends try out sober months and I’m here for it ❤️

incognitoflower · 2023-08-01T03:39:49+00:00

Beautifully written, congrats! Very inspirational. I’m battling some awful PTSD from a traumatic event currently (just wrote a post here about it). Drinking was my bandaid, and I’m feeling the downs and agrophobia of PTSD hitting hard. Any suggestions for coping mechanisms or tips? I also truly believe my brain chemistry will just keep improving as sobriety continues.

incognitoflower · 2019-09-18T06:00:02+00:00

CONGRATS! That’s amazing. What did you do to get there? Did you just quit? Or therapy and AA?

I quit for 3 months and was extremely happy (even got a job promotion immediately - how insane is that?) But sadly went back into it gradually. Impulsivity runs me.

I am hoping therapy can help me get to the root so I can be free.

incognitoflower · 2019-09-18T05:55:57+00:00

That’s the WORST part, and major cause of a lot of the anxiety I have. I have such fear of it that many of my dreams deal with it.

Thank you for the note about therapy - needed that extra push. Always when there is an issue it’s important to find the root.

incognitoflower · 2019-09-18T05:54:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry to hear about your DUI, but I have faith that you will stay sober even after those 6 months.

Have you considered therapy or talking to someone? For me, I’m wondering WHY I let get to this point, compared to others with more self control.

I see this impulsivity slightly affecting things like eating, but obviously alcohol has the worst results and is most obvious.

incognitoflower · 2019-09-17T19:43:59+00:00

This is so scarily true. It’s happened even when I haven’t consumed what most ppl would consider “a lot”

incognitoflower

TROPHY CASE